Last week, my sweet girl, my third child, my last biological baby learned to crawl. While most parents would celebrate this monumental milestone. I cried.
For 11 months I have been able to successfully distract her and discourage her from crawling.
At 9 months old, I noticed her attempt a push-up while on her tummy and ran to her side.
"No, no, no baby girl. No need to exert yourself. Let's say bye-bye to tummy time and hello to sitting-in-one-spot-and-not-moving time." I smiled and sat her next to an abundance of plush toys.
At 10 months old I witnessed my third child attempt to rock back and forth in the push-up position, reaching for a toy. This time, I ran even faster to her side.
"No, no, no Fifi. Would you like a toy? The red rattle? Shake ah, shake ah, shake ah!!! Mama will get it for you. Here you go." I shook my hips and the rattle.
At 11 months old I sat her in our dinning room surrounded by toys and siblings galore and proceeded to make dinner. Jay and Lola created a fort under the table. Laughter filled the house. My hands were smothered with raw chicken and I heard Jay yell.
"I. AM. SOOOOOOO. PROUD. OF. YOU!!!" Jay screams. "Mama. Mama, come and look at this. Fifi is crawling to us."
And suddenly, I do not feel so bad. Not bad at all.
Unable to rescue her with my chicken infested hands, Fifi crawled the entire length of the room. Smiling.
"Oh, baby girl. Mama is so proud of you!" I said proudly because I was. She was so happy and giggling outloud. Sweet baby giggles.
This weekend, I was yet again unable to discourage her from the next milestone. Standing. She crawled to Lola's kitchen and pulled herself up and let out a huge squeal of delight.
"Mama, is so proud of you!" I told her and smothered her with kisses. She was so happy and again giggling outoud.
I realized how wrong I was to discourage her. To discourage her from happiness essentially. She is so happy to crawl and pull herself up. Most children her age have been crawling for months and are now taking their first steps. She has sat, in one place, never moving for 11 months. I felt like a horrible mother.