Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Stop. It. Now.

In four days Fifi will turn one. ONE. Oh my gosh, one years old.

As the third child she has been lovingly neglected. More than once.

While the other two were in school, I read a book to Fifi. "The cat says, MEOW!" I let out a meow, she looked at me, and started laughing. "The dog says, ARF, ARF!" I barked out loud, she looked up at me, and started laughing again. Why is she laughing at me? And then I realized. This was the VERY FIRST time I was going over animal sounds with her. I must sound hysterically foreign to her. The other two, at this age, had memorized at least a dozen animal sounds

Yesterday we played around in the basement and Fifi was trying to keep up with the other two. She followed them around walking from furniture piece to furniture piece, always watching them. She lost her balance, fell, and lightly bumped her forehead against the wall. Not getting off the couch, I peered over and saw little tears forming and her lip quivering. "Oh, it's okay baby girl. You are okay." She cried for a minute and pulled herself back up to see the others. "That a girl!" The others required massive amounts of band-aids for even the slightest of accidents.

On Saturday I took all three kids to a birthday party in an indoor playground. The warehouse was full of gigantic swingsets. The older two immediately took off in different directions and I stood alone with Fifi. "You want to swing, baby girl?" I placed her in a bucket swing and gently pushed her. Fifi's eyes opened WIDE and she let out a fearful cry. I stopped the swing and smothered her with kisses. How can she not like to swing? Everyone likes to swing. Oh my gosh, this is her first time in a swing. Oh my. I used to take the older two to the indoor playground every week of the winter.

Today, I dropped off the others at preschool and headed to the grocery store. There were many other SAHM moms and senior citizens shopping too. While waiting for my bologna a senior citizen approached our cart in admiration of her baby blue eyes. "Ahhhh, isn't she sweet?" I thanked her and even allowed her to touch my daughter. Fifi was all smiles. "She must be your first." The lady declared. "No, actually she's my third. My last." I explained. The SAHM next to me in the deli line whispered just loud enough for me to hear, "Oh, I would not have guessed she being your first." I smiled and approached her, curious to hear how she knew this. "She is still in her pajamas and has what looks like syrup all over her chest." I looked down at my beautiful baby and she was infact in her pjs sprinkled with syrup. I looked at the SAHM and let her know that I did remember to change her diaper this morning. Everyone smiled and parted ways.

As the third child she has been lovingly neglected. Yes. More then once. However, she is also loved by more than one. She was born into an immediate family of siblings all of which smother her with attention. Hands down, this baby has received many more kisses then the other two.

Fifi. Darling. Please stop growing so fast. We are thrilled you are a part of our family. However, you are growing up too fast. Mama just realized that you have never been in a swing, or never been read a book, you are always in your pajamas, you are always without a bib, you have no age appropriate baby toys, and you have been introduced to Tom and Jerry way too soon.

Please stop. We can not keep up with you. Our sweetest Fifi... slow done. (Her REAL name is just so beautiful, wish I could share). Fifi. Stop. It. Now.

Is it okay for me to cry this weekend when she turns one?

67classy comments:

Wendi said...

May I just copy and paste this in a note to my third child, Cole? With the exception of name, age, and gender...it would totally apply. Cole will be 4 in April. Call me and we will have a "CRY" together...

*I can't believe I did not have to "scroll" for 5 minutes to leave a comment!

Around The Funny Farm said...

Yep... they grow so fast.. but they REALLY DO....

Document as much as you can.. You will cherish the memories!

:-) Beth

krissy said...

Yep, it's okay to cry! I still cry every year my daughter goes to school! She's 10yrs old. I should be used to it!!!

Happy B'day Fifi!!! I hope your concussion is all better! Ha, Ha...this made me laugh!!!

Melissa said...

Not only is it okay, it's required. I look at Hope and think the same thing. She's growing up and away from me. Way.To. Fast.

Kathryn said...

Such a bittersweat milestone. Why does it go so fast??? :(

Cecily R said...

First of all, you are the sweetest mommy! She may not know what a dog says, but I have no doubt that Fifi is one of the most UNneglected kids in the world.

Secondly, when Isaac was a baby, when we went in public he was always clean and put together. It's only now that my kids go to the store in their jammies with holes in the toes covered in syrup. That person in the store has it backwards. At least in my case. :)

zoeyjane said...

awwww. you're such a good mommy! are you adopting?

seriously, that's the great thing about blogging...i can go back and know exactly what i was complaining about at 6 months pregnant, when she started walking to the day, her first words and everything. technology doesn't suck, always.

thanks for opening my eyes to the whole breath holding syndrome. no doctor had every mentioned it to me. i seriously have always just thought Isobel was a dramatic kiddo, who got herself too worked up and if she passed out, she'd always be fine cuz she'd start right back up breathing again. Now I know that it's not quite so casual. So, yes, thanks. (and i don't mop ALL of my floors all the time - i do it a different room each day!)

lattemommy said...

Don't think of it as "neglect" per se, it's more like "fostering independence". *grin*

FUN-ky Mama said...

I so love your blog, and how you speak so lovingly of your children.
It is totally ok to cry! I may cry with you!
My youngest is SEVEN. Seven years old, already! How can that be?

tricki_nicki said...

I was just thinking this very same thing today! My third is neglected in some ways, but gets way more attention in others. I think it's just part of the 'way of things'. Which in the long run, is probably ok.

Jeni said...

Just another thing you gotta get used to doing - shedding a few tears at every birthday! My oldest will be 41 come April, and I really cry now when it is her birthday -for more reasons than one there. My youngest, also the third child (and very neglected -lol) just hit 32 a week ago. Now, I do the sentimental weep thing over the grandkids birthdays. It's hard ya know, part of you wants to keep them at this age and stage that is soooo cute and part of you is wanting, so anxiously, to see what comes next and it does pull you apart inside, doesn't it?
Enjoy every minute you can and you know taking a kid out in pj's with syrup on them didn't harm her at all too now. My oldest grandson (age 10) was 6 years old before he managed to play with other kids and get dirty cause his mother was so spastic about him always being squeaky clean and dressed to the nines. The dirt- didn't hurt him a bit.

Stephanie said...

She's adorable! And mine is about to turn 1 also and I have no idea where the time went... You are so lucky to have such a big and beautiful family. One day I'd love to have 3 of my own...even if they become lovingly neglected :)

chickadee said...

It's okay to cry. I'm a little teary right now just reading.

Happy Days said...

I cried! I can relate so well to all of this with my third!

girlymom said...

Cry to your heart's content! Thay grow up way too fast! I know with my first, when I put her in a swing, she cried and I held her and reassured her, with the second child, I pushed the swing a bit slower the first time. The third child...she got plopped in, got a push and I turned around to kick the soccer ball back to the other two children, went and tackled one of them, turned around gave the swing a push, played soccer turned around a few minutes later to find her asleep in the swing...it was that exciting!

girlymom said...

I have to add...she was securely belted and I was never farther that 5 feet away...for safety's sake, wouldn't want anyone thinking I put her in harm's way. Ok, glad I cleared that up...

Lisa said...

Hubby & I go back and forth, back and forth about Baby Tres....much for the same reasons that you mentioned. I know we have enough love, but do we have enough energy? Enough time? Like you said though - Fifi just gets the love from everyone - and because of the love and attention she gets from the whole family she is fully loved!
PS - Send me an email with Fifi's real name & I'll send you one back with Goosey & Lulu's.......

Anne said...

My kiddo will be one in two months... the time really flies, huh? I got teary reading your post. *sniff*

Mom Of 3 said...

I so totally know how you feel. My third who is the only boy is 18months, and I feel like he is growing way to fast. He is definatly lovingly neglected, I love the way you put it. Thanks so much for sharing.

Crystal said...

Sweet little Fifi will gets so much more from having 2 older siblings. She is a lucky girl.
And yes Momma, cry cry cry this weekend, just make sure someone else is taking pictures of her plowing into her cake.

Karen said...

Animal sounds are way overrated. It isn't like kids will be conversing with them. Knowing that she's loved is the best of all. She's got a wonderful family. And it's OK to cry.

Smart A$$ Mom said...

Oh Mommy! The night before my kids birthdays-I cry, every year. Cry, cry it out. Happy early birthday Fifi!(can't wait to find out her beeeutiful name!)

Kim said...

I am crying for you.. I know how you must feel.. My baby is already almost nine months and I wonder where did the time go?

You put it perfectly though.. she has your wonderful family that showers her with love daily..

~Kimmylyn

renatamic said...

every girl needs a "good cry" now and again...and i think this weekend will be your "good cry"!! but, don't cry because you're sad that your babies are growing up...cry because they are happy, healthy, beautiful and all yours!! and if the "good cry" doesn't help...then i allow you to crack open a bottle of syrah!! fifi is beautiful...happy 1st birthday to her!!

Kelly said...

Hi--I just found your blog and love it! I feel your pain. My third child turned 2 in September and it's killing me knowing those baby days are behind us (yet I know I don't want any more!!). Hang in there and enjoy the ride!

Jessica said...

Yes.. You can cry... It is amazing how fast they grow. If you blink, you would miss it. I totally freak out if I start thinking about things like starting school, riding the bus... And (EEK)... Weddings, college and leaving home... Keep in mind that mine will be 4 in June! Cry... Here is my shoulder for you.

PS... How is the dog?

The MomBabe said...

Ahhh, the bittersweet first birthday. Cry your eyeballs out, my dear. *mwuah*

Smitty76 said...

How sweet...your little one may be lovingly "neglected" in some areas (and who CARES if she goes to the grocery store in her pj's? LOL), but in others she is rich! Like you said she has beautiful, loving siblings to play with, and give her kisses. And she has YOU, knowing that she is your last child, so she has that special place in your heart!

LunaNik said...

I neglect my second...I'm pretty sure I would almost completely ignore a third!

Happy Birthday Fifi!!!!!

Can't wait for the birthday pics!

Nan Patience said...

pass the hanky!!!

Don Mills Diva said...

You are SO allowed to cry. Happy birthday sweet Fifi!

Lizzy in the Burbs said...

The time does go by so fast, you really have to enjoy and appreciate every moment. Sounds like "Fifi" is a very loved, very lucky little girl! Also, don't be so hard on yourself. It's not that you're less attentive to her needs, you're just not as nervous and unsure of what to do as you were with your first. That's what comes with being a more confident mom!

Lizzy

Amy said...

she is also loved by more than one. ...this baby has received many more kisses then the other two

This is so true, and probably why every third child I know is confident and easy-going. You are doing a great job!

Now Fifi - Stop growing!!

Stephanie said...

Yes, it's ok to cry this weekend. Cause I'm going to be crying with you. Chicken turns one on Sunday, too, and Happy Birthday got me with Punky twice now, I figure it won't be any different with Chicken. They grow so fast, it seems like only yesterday I was going through 48 hours of labor with him...He was the most beautiful little boy and so sweet. Don't you wish there was something that could capture feelings, thoughts, smells and smiles all at the same time so we can have these times to go back to when we're old? I feel like I'm going to blink and they're going to be 18 and leaving after I went through so much to get them. But we've been given the blessing of just knowing them and that has to be enough. For us, my dearest OhMommy, we'll be mourning on the same day for the babyhood that went by all too quick. Hang in there!

Janice said...

It amazes me how fast they grow. My oldest is almost 7, holy crap, time flys.

Irene said...

I could have written this post! I do so much less with my youngest. Every once in a while I get a wave of guilt.

And she plays alone (when her sister is at school) all the time. I rarely sit down and play. But honestly, I think it is better because she is a very independent happy little girl. She definitely doesn't need anyone or anything to keep her occupied.

Marie around the World said...

Hi ! Just found your blog and I think I'd come back soon !
I am sorry but I'd have to tell you "Don't cry, be happy, live the moment, take a lot of pics, hang around with her, show her the sky, the birds, enjoy that innocent time where they can understand, almost listen and are still tantrum-free, nightmare-free and so on.
But if you miss the baby time, it's ok the to cry...
We love them so much after all that any step overflow us with lot of emotion...
PS Sorry if my English is not perfect !

suchsimplepleasures said...

happy first birthday, fifi!!

my baby...i just let the big kids teach him all his words. maybe that's why he gets into trouble for having a potty mouth!!

it's so unbelievable, how time flies, when you have kids. my oldest will be 12 in april...i have to start planning his bar mitzvah. that, to me...is so surreal!!
xoxo

carrie said...

Yes, you are allowed to cry.

I forgot what bibs even were with my 3rd baby.

Scarlett Wanna Be said...

I don't know if this will make you feel better on not, but today I worked with to 2 year olds in my bible study. I sat next to a drooler and a nose picker; seems to me, a year doesn't make that big of a difference....at least it didn't for the kid slobbering everywhere or the one showing me his nose surprises.

Kellan said...

Yes - you can cry this weekend and then the day after and the day after that - keep your eyes wide open for there will be days and weeks and years ahead that you will not want to miss - it is a marvelous journey!! As much as I long sometimes for those babies - when my babies were one - I would not trade one day of their growing up - not one single day and I look forward every single day to the tommorows to come. It is hard - but it is wonderous and marvelous and fantastic - enjoy every moment. Take care - Kellan

Miss said...

What matter is that you are doing all your catch up now. She has a great mother and fantastic siblings, she will turn out ok. ;-)

Jewelgirl said...

Cute Kids! Yes, go ahead and cry!
Raising babies is hard work and
you made it! Happy birthday to
your youngest!

Tara R. said...

I'll shed a little tear along with you... my baby girl will be 19, NINETEEN, in a couple of months. The time just flew! Enjoy all your babies as long as you can. =)

david mcmahon said...

Every child is different - God bless them for their individuality.

Yes, it OK to cry when she turns one. And two ... and three ...

Parents do these things all the time.

Kelly said...

Ohmommy, this post hit me right in the heart. I worry that Molly doesn't get half as much as Jack did. He was held constantly, her inbetween chasing after Jack. I read to him from birth, I rarely have time to crack open a book with her. I even worry that I blog incessantly about him, and rarely about her. If only I could crack open my heart and show her, she would drown from all the love I have for her inside. It all evens out in the end.
Happy Birthday Fifi!

Valarie said...

Do you really have to ask if it's ok to cry?? My last just turned 8 months and I cried...... :)

Jen said...

Of course it's okay to cry! I know exactly what you're talking about. My third son....lovingly neglected :)

With Brady, my first, his pepaw used to sneak him big people food and give him slobbery sips of his tea. I had a small TIA everytime that happened. By the time Peyton was a baby, we just skipped right to steak and tea our first day out of the hospital...

Kristen said...

They grow up too fast. You're doing an awesome job just by blogging. She will have written memories of her first year of life and for that she is lucky!! :-)

You are doing a great job!!

P.S. Thanks for sending people my way yesterday. These past couple of days have been beyond emotional. I blog during the day when the kiddos are asleep, and am spending most of that time in tears. I appreciated the prayers and hugs as I relived the most trying days of my life. :-) Thanks for knowing I needed a few hugs! :-)

Flea said...

Please do cry. And if it's any consolation, after your chill pill post, this proves that you are indeed calming down, relaxing as a mom, doing a great job, even though it may seem to prove otherwise. It's so nice to see someone enjoy their children. :)

Real World Mom said...

Oh, I think the crying thing is mandatory! Hugs!!

Mr Lady said...

OH MY GOD.

I do the same thing all the time.

My kids don't know the Wheels on the Bus, but when Family Guy comes on, she sings the theme song and knows all the charaters names.

It's delightful. Happy Birthday, Fifi!

Melinda Zook said...

Its so funny. I was thinking that the other day too about the differences between how I taught my son versus my daughter. She is 19 months and I am just realizing the same thing...I probably sung ABCs to my son everyday from when he was a month old and read books constantly. As for my second, I just didn't push...of course she has learned everything faster anyway because she has learned from him!

Jenni said...

I know how you feel. I never played with or read (baby) books to my youngest nearly as much. But, you have to recognize how much extra time they are getting with their siblings.

And yes, you can cry!

Victoria said...

Oh, such a sweet post! Cry away!! I'm sure your little lovie will understand. =)

Happy Birthday to her!

Lisa said...

Cry away!!!
My poor fourth is a lot like your third--but my neglect is made up by three very hovering siblings just as I am sure yours is too :)
And hey at least you got the pajamas on--after diaper change, we usually strip down and I notice around lunch he still has no clothes on.

MommyTime said...

Yes, my second has been much less hovered over than my first...I would imagine this would even accentuate more with a third. But on the plus side: think of all the things her older siblings are teaching her. For example, I neglected to teach my Son the phrase "poopoo butt" but he has very thoroughly taught this to his little sister, so that she can say it in all appropriate situations (and trust me, there are MANY appropriate situations for this phrase, think what you might otherwise). So -- just revel in whatever is going on now.

Maria said...

I think that there's advantages to being the first, second, and third born. They're all lucky in different ways. This allows them to grow up differently (luckily)also. I like how you just replied that you did remember to change her diaper this morning!

LaskiGal said...

Well, you've received permission to cry, over and over and over again. Clearly, you are a good mom. An attentive mom. A REAL mom.

Happy B-day Fifi!

suchsimplepleasures said...

preschool...6000/year for 3 full and one 1/2 day.

learning to fart like a pro...priceless!
xoxo

Holly said...

Beautiful post! Yes, you can cry. And, yes, they do grow up too fast. Way too fast!

Nap Warden said...

Oh, it goes way to fast...no matter how much I try to slow it down!

Mom Of 3 said...

I think we are all feeling better today! Thanks for checking on us.

Amy said...

And then can you imagine having a fourth??

Your little Fifi is precious and beautiful and has the most amazing mommy who loves her so much!

They grow so fast...

Amy said...

don't be so hard on yourself. you are a good mom!

you remind me sooo much of my sister, lisa from happy days!!!

A Mom Two Boys said...

That is sweet. And the best part is, she doesn't even know she's been "neglected". To her, it's just life and it's wonderful!

And it's totally okay to cry when she turns one! I got a little weepy when my little one just hit six months (and he's not, hopefully, my last!). It's a milestone for you and for her!

Darrin said...

Aw, you poor thing. One year old huh? Don't worry, the best is yet to come.

Makeshift Sinatra~
Bloghoppin' on a Saturday Nite.

 

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