After school on Tuesday, I picked up Jay and his friend Connor and drove home for an afternoon play date. Connor has been to our home at least a dozen times. He is a well behaved boy and his mother is a good friend of mine. We swap boys regularly.
The boys eagerly ran upstairs to Jay's room while I entertained Fifi and Lola and made lunch for the gang. The boys, head over heels in love with the puppy, smothered him with attention. Giggle. Giggle. Growl. Growl. I yelled upstairs, reminding them, that angry puppies bite and to give him some space.
All four children ate their lunch together and soon moved onto their yogurt dessert. It was 1pm and Fifi was rubbing the yogurt across her eyes and massaging it into her scalp. It was evident that she needed a nap.
I prepared her bottle and ushered the gang downstairs to our playroom, the furthest room located from Fifi's nursery. A mere five minutes later I heard Hunter, our puppy, barking and growling. Again.
I entered the basement guestroom and saw all three children on top of the bed armed with light sabers, foam swords, and plastic guns. Weapons in our house is an entire separate blog post.
The children were taunting the puppy with their weapons of mass destruction. Waving them feverishly at the puppy. "Mommy gives you rules to keep you safe. He WILL bite someone." I threatened them. Connor looked at me un-phased and proclaimed, "He already bit me!" He revealed the wound on his arm. It WAS rather a large bite. One that had actually drawn blood. I examined it and talked to him and locked up the puppy. Still shocked that Hunter actually bit a human I talked to Connor some more. He insisted that it was not a problem, I exhaled a tiny bit, and we went outside, climbed some trees and waited for his ride.
Ten minutes passed and Connor's father arrived to pick him up. He exited his brand new sexy Audi dressed in his courtroom bests threads. I explained what had happened and his handsome father, in his most compassionate lawyer voice, replied "Well, that will teach him not to taunt dogs." I exhaled a tiny bit more.
Fifi woke up from her nap and I sat the kids down to talk to them. I explained, again for the billionth time, that puppies are like babies and bite. We practiced "teaching Hunter who is boss" by flipping him on his back and staring him down to prove power. We talked.
This SHOULD have been the end of the story.
But no. Oh no. Not in the OHmommy world of classy chaos.
Grab a seat my friends.
Why must my life be so uber chaotic?
Hunter bit Jay equally as powerful as he did for Connor. Although, this time, no one was taunting the puppy. Jay lovingly tried to pick him up to cuddle and the stupid animal bit him across his neck. The neck I so lovingly kiss each day. The neck that I linger in and smell each night. The neck of my first born child.
Without sounding like a raving lunatic I will spare you the conversation I had with my husband. He canceled his last two patients and came home. We found Hunter a new home.
Perhaps the outcome would have been different if we named the puppy LOVER and I blogged at CLASSY PEACE. Perhaps. But this was the story of a HUNTER on CLASSY CHAOS. Go figure.