Friday, May 30, 2008

OHmommy Illustrated: 2008 Swimsuit Edition

Some months ago, in the middle of the Midwestern winter, I decided to challenge myself physically to get into bikini shape. I vowed that I would post pictures of myself in a bikini by mid-July.

People. That 'aint happening.

Last summer, Fifi was three months old and I wore a "post maternity" tankini. The summer before that, I was pregnant with Fifi and wore a "pre-maternity" tankini. The summer before that I was a toned size 4 and in amazing shape for my best friend's wedding. I. Was. Hot.

Now, as a mother of three young preschool aged children, I have no time to get toned and so I have fluffed out to a sweet size of not a 4. Sweet. Really sweet.

My time will come. For now, I need to research one piece swimsuits to wear in ten days for my mommy and me "Tadpole" swim class with Fifi.

The last swimsuit I purchased is now four years old. It is this beautiful Calvin Klein suit. I have it in both black and charcoal. It really is one of the best one pieces out there and I have received many compliments wearing it. If you are looking for a one piece... look no further. This suit cries, "I am classy and hot!" It is perfection and on sale at Victoria Secret for $70.

However, it is time for a change. It has been 4 years since my last real swimsuit purchase.

Okay.

So I sat before my computer researching "ONE PIECES."

Wha?

Are you serious?

I could not believe my eyes.

Mr. OHmommy started drooling.

Have swimsuit styles changed THAT MUCH in four years?

Seriously? Who....





So. Not. Appropriate for the "Tadpole" swim class I signed Fifi up for.

I did find two very classy suits and am having trouble deciding between the two. Obviously, I will be buying a black suit, as to not draw attention and create a more slimming silhouette.

I have until Sunday to order a suit. I will pick the suit of what the majority of you pick. Here are the two finalist:

Which one is shall I sport, to the first day of our "Tadpole" swim class in 10 days?

137classy comments:

Sarah said...

Too funny - I was just looking at the second one in the VS catalog! I really like it, but I also really like the first one. Number one looks less low cut, so maybe easier for a 'Tadpole' class. Where did you find the first one?

OHmommy said...

All of the suits are from VS online. :)

Unknown said...

Ew. Number two is gross. I want to marry number one.

EatPlayLove said...

Both! Hands down, very cute. For the record, I don't think I could muster up a complaint about being a size 6.

Ashlee said...

I'd love to be a size 6!

I'm loving #2! The danglies in the first one would bother me. Good luck in your decision making process!

April said...

OhMommy, I have that same swimsuit from 4 years ago!!

I think it depends on how your chest would look for the choices. I'd pick #1 for myself.

And yeah, swimsuits have come a long way, baby. But I'm sticking with the 4-year-old model myself.

Kristen said...

I am voting for swimsuit number 2.

Our little ones would never leave the dangly things alone on number one.

Good luck and can't wait to hear what you pick! :)

Amy said...

I like the second one too, the ties on the first would be way too distracting for Fifi. Ugh, I really hate bathing suit shopping!

Miss said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Miss said...

I just bought three one pieces from Old Navy. Solid black, brown, and blue with a halter top, no fancy buckles or anything like that. I'm a simple creature. $14.50 on sale. I'm also a cheap creature. But I got them and they look fab on. I say go with #1 if those are your two choices! ;-) You'll look hot in either!

Zoeyjane said...

what huckdoll said? the opposite. i think you and number two would rock. number one is a little sensational looking to me. (me being the person who doesn't own a one-piece cuz a lack of ass turning it into a thong really defeats the more demure styling)

Unknown said...

#2, without a doubt, it has that sex appeal of the 50's suit kinda thing going on, but TOTALLY covers unwanted... lumps and bumps- thanks to the wonders of well placed ruching.

Mr Lady said...

You buy number one, I'll buy number two, and we'll show Mr OhMommy what droolin' is really all about.

OHmommy said...

Oh... Mr. Lady. You rock.

Resim said...

This is a hard post for a dude to comment on, so I'll just say "Hi! Glad I stopped by to see ya!" Maybe I'll get Lori to come over and leave a comment. ;-)

The Mom Jen said...

2 is hot...1 is hot also, but a little too sexy for tadpole swim class.

Putting the FUN in DysFUNctional said...

Shut up, you are SO hot!
I like both suits, #1 a little more.

Jill said...

I like both suits... though you'd never catch me in a one piece.

I need a tankini - something to help elongate my petite (aka short) body.

I also require an underwire - a necessity to help lift, hold, separate, and mold the twins (aka big, droopy post-2 kid boobies).

Stacy said...

Okay....while I like them both, I vote for #2. Like another commenter, the danglies on #1 would bother me. And IMO I think #1 looks a bit racier. Let us know what you decide :)

Unknown said...

Ok - i like both suits but the first one has the ties at the legs and just from experience, those ties moving around while I swam or ran after my kids (baywatch style, of course) would make me constantly think there was something crawling on me.

Therefore I would spend the whole summer with a freakishly bizarre "what-the-crap-is-crawling-up-my-leg" dance!

That's why I vote for #2!

Cecily R said...

Two. I'm with Michelle. The ties would wig me out. So not cool for Tadpole swimming.

Sarah G said...

I like #2 - but then I'm a fan of halter necks. So flattering and cute!

Unknown said...

Hi :) First time commenter but I've been reading your blog for a while.

I'm putting my vote in for #2. I don't like the danglies on the first one.

Krystyn @ Really, Are You Serious? said...

I like the first one...but that's because I'm hippy and I think the second would draw attention. But then, there's the ties. I'm at a loss?!?!

Stephanie said...

First, the 2nd one screams CLASSY more than the other one. That's actually one that I was considering going with, as I too, am a one piece VS swimsuit type of gal.
And yeah, let me tell you that those "one pieces" you have posted kind of DEFEAT the purpose of why I need a one piece :)

John Deere Mom said...

#2. The hangy down things on #1 would drive me crazy. But if you DO go with #1, please don't make that model face at Fifi's Tadpole class. Please.

Tena said...

I totally dig number one!!
Good luck in your discussion!

Lisa said...

Buy both. Try them on, and possibly keep both.

I hate swimsuits. HATE....

suchsimplepleasures said...

the top one. while they are both lovely, the bottom ones cut of the leg area...don't love it!! as for the other swimsuits...sigh...forget the swimsuits...i want to buy a new body, preferably one of the bodies that are wearing those suits. because, if my body looked like that...i would join a nudist colony!!!
xoxo

Mandy said...

I would definitely have to go with #2. It is very hot, but more modest than #1 for your Mommy and Me swim
class. Plus I'm with everybody else, those dangly things would really get on my nerves.

I wish I could get a one piece. Every one of them goes up my booty and is very annoying. I love them on others though.

AutoSysGene said...

Oh red, get the red one...and I will live vicariously!! Yeah, it's the two piece tankini for me and my mommy gut!!

Kate said...

#2!!!!! Some of us are not toned and don't have any excuse so don't worry. I actually own this suit below, in case you want option #3 (in black of course) and it is very very flattering. Just ask your dear sister who helped me pick it (over one similar to the "one-pieces" that horrify both you and me) http://www1.macys.com/catalog/product/index.ognc?ID=286190&CategoryID=12420&LinkType=SiteAd&LinkLoc=8699&AdID=42483

haniaski said...

#2

Kelly said...

I like them both but would probably have to say #1. I don't think I'd like the ties on the legs though. They would itch me and drive me crazy.

Laura B. said...

I really like them both. I'd probably go with #1 for the tadpole class - the second would be great for beach bathing. :-)

Indy said...

I like #2 for a vacation. #1 looks like it would be more supportive for the girls and the class with Fifi. Let me know which one wins.

Anonymous said...

You know that when we lived in OH Mr.T worked for VS, right? I have close and personal relationships with just about every swimsuit you posted here.

#1 looks really good on any body type and #2, in my opinion is tricky for some body types IE: short gals.

Laura said...

Number one offers too many pull strings for little hands...I like #2 better...Good luck!

Anonymous said...

I say #2 all the way.

Crystal D said...

While I LOVE #2, I say go with #1 because #2 looks too easy for Fifi to pull down. The straps are too far from the middle to save you when she goes to reach right for your suit to pull up out of the water. but the straps on #1 look like they might keep the suit covering all the right parts.
But I love both of these options. You will looks so CLASSY!

Anonymous said...

#1! Definitely #1! While I could potentially see #2 looking cute, I'd worry about the cut at the top, both for looks-sake AND practicality. No one likes to flash little ones in the pool!

Anti-Supermom said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anti-Supermom said...

I'd go with #2, I think that you might be able to pull it down a bit too for a 'tiny' skirt look. (I'm not sure, it looks like one that was featured on Oprah, gotta love Oprah.)

Either are still hot :)

Nickoal said...

Well, I'm going to pick #2 for your tadpole class because it's "less sexy" - but #1 is very cute for fun!! Good luck on your shopping!! By the way, you're way too pretty to be worrying about not being a size 4, I'd kill to be a size 6 or even be able to wear a bathing suit lol.

The Gerster Family said...

Definately the red one! It has the super slimming ruffle lines that can hide ANYTHING, and a not "mom" top to it to keep the sex appeal. Still, though, very appropriate for the tadpole swim class. :)

Unknown said...

Ger one of each!! But if you HAVE TO choose one ONE (get both, get both) I like the 2nd one for you only 1/100 of a percent better - it will accent your awesome collarbones!!!

Unknown said...

#1, #1, #1, or - you could just go naked.

sara said...

I love the 1st one!

kim-d said...

I follow your site because I love it and you, but I never comment. But the way to draw me out of lurkerdom without fail is to ask for an opinion. I think you should buy one of each...seriously. One in black and then one in a different "color." I think they are both gorgeous, and I see no reason why you should have to choose between the two :)!

Anne B. said...

If the cut of a suit makes the model's body look akward, what the heck will it do to mine. I love the grey suit. I am a totally untoned size 4 (read flabby all over my midsection and serious muffin top - yep, petite girls have it too!), so I decided to go with a bikini with a skirted bottom. It covers up most of my problems spots. I'm still NOT looking forward to wearing it.

Babcia said...

#2 - you will look georges

Stephanie said...

#1, even though they're both cute. #1 covers more boob and if you're having to hold Fifi or do much more than wade, you might lose the "girls" in public in #2!. ;oD

Kat said...

I always get my swimsuits from Victoria's Secret. I love their suits!
I am back down to a size 4 but it looks different than it used to. Stuff just didn't "settle" right. Hahaha! Okay, it really isn't that funny. My size 4 just isn't what it used to be. Damn.

Moooooog35 said...

I don't care which one you wear.

Thanks for the new computer wallpaper and bathroom masturbation fodder!!

Perhaps I've said too much.

Chelsea said...

I like #1. I hadn't noticed the tie thingies until I read other comments, though... So that may be a deal breaker, but I really like the cut. The ones on the legs wouldn't be a big deal with shorts on over (I'm a board shorts addict). I've seen other bloggers with one-piece finds on their blogs, but I can't remember where any of them came from. Oh well. Good choices with these!

CelticBuffy said...

While I love the higher cut thigh on suit #1, suit #2 is definitely classy and tre chic. Suit #2 in red and/or black has my vote!

Wendi said...

I am so indecisive! As I will prove with the following comment:
I love both! You would look fabulous in either. Get both!

Which does Mr. OHMommy like? Never mind...the one piece that looks like a little, itty, bitty, tiny piece...am I right?

LunaNik said...

Both. Definately both. The shirring of the fabric of suit #1 makes it oh so slimming and the neckline would look fabulous on your girlie curves ;) BUT, #2 would also give good cleavage, the wrap design is also slimming, and the way it sits on the hips is so retro in such a cool way.

My dear OhMommy, do you remember your post about manipulation?? Time to remind yourself how great it is to be female and con your poor, unsuspecting husband into buying them both for you. Immediately.

Rachel said...

#1 all the way.
#2 will only give you flat boobage area unless you have clever tape manipulated in such a way as to make them all poofy like the picture.

I would totally rock any of those aforementioned suits if I weren't a mommy of 2 with sporting baby stripes and a bit of fluff. I'm just saying.

AEH said...

I think they're both cute, but I like #2 best (the red one). The ONLY thing I don't like about it is the halter neck. Those always bother me, but it might be because I'm a bit fuller on top and those things can get heavy.

Also, if I was gay, Adriana Lima would totally be my girlfriend. (She's model #1). Hehe.

lattemommy said...

Come on, buy them both. You know you want to. *grin*

If you're going to go with just one, though, I'd go with #2. I'm with everyone else on the dangly things driving you crazy.

Angie Seaman said...

BOTH BOTH BOTH! I love the red coloring of the 2nd one and the design of the neckline on it but I feel like #1 still gives off a way "HOT MAMA" vibe. The tassels might drive ya nuts but at least you will be HOT HOT HOT while loosing your sanity. Ha ha! I think they are both ROCKIN' and SMOKIN'! Again, go with both. :)
Blessings, Angie Seaman
www.angelicagracedesigns.com/blog/
www.angelicagracedesigns.com

Christy said...

I vote for the first of the finalists! Love it! I am always up for a new suit :)

María said...

I love the first. I demand you choose the first. :p

Just My Type said...

Number 2 is CLASSY.

Victoria said...

Do you have boobs? 'Cause you would totally fall out of #2 if you had boobs, the the Tadpole class.

Not classy. *grin*

I likee #1.

MommyTime said...

Before I vote, I have to say: we have the same kitchen counters, the same living room rug, AND the same bathing suit. Your old Calvin Klein? I just got it in chocolate brown!! (At Marshall's for $25, no less.) And the pic goes up tomorrow. :) So, someday we must obviously go shopping together.

For this year: I think you should choose #2. I agree, all the danglies on #1 would be distracting.

Ali said...

#1. love it!

Karen said...

They're both cute, and I love the rouching.

I cannot believe that those other ones actually keep you contained. Wouldn't there be huge risks of things being exposed even without a toddler in tow?

Danielle said...

Love the second red choice, in black of course.

And I love the first on up there that you already have... I may have to get that one myself!

CC said...

hahahahah!! I think the tadpole class will just LOVE all the beginning choices!!!

mamatulip said...

I like the first one.

And those other ones? They're not swimsuits. They're swatches of fabric pretending to be swimsuits.

Danielle said...

I have also been looking at these and wondering...

http://www.modbecatalog.com/swimwear/tops/diagonal

They look cute..? Or old?

Unknown said...

"Ew. Number two is gross."

I just wanted to add that unless you have legs up to your neck, this suit will make you look like a stump. It's beautiful though, yes it is, the colour is gorgeousitty,

You can probably have the "danglies" taken off number one if you want by a seamstress....that eliminates that so not big deal of an issue.

Unknown said...

Definitely number two in Black would be my vote. BTW I am feeling so much better today... Maybe movie night tomorrow???

Amy said...

I also vote for #2 and cite toddler reasons. I think the top is more likely to stay in place.

I can't believe that you can order swimsuits on line. Suit shopping for me is 2 hours at Nordstorm with all possible suits being tried on several times.

Unknown said...

I vote for the first one. Looks classy, but the straps add just a tad of sexy!

Marmarbug said...

First time commenter! I like the second one best!

Kim said...

I think number two is hottness!! LOVE IT.. go for it.. and in red.. love it!

Kimmylyn :)

Someone Being Me said...

I love #2. You are going to be one hot Momma in the swim class.

Betsy Mae said...

I love both of them...I might pick number one for myself. I've never bought a bathing suit online before, how do you know it will fit properly and how do you buy them (like sizes etc)? I would send you cyber smooches if you gave a wee bit of a tutorial on how to buy a bathing suit online (tips and suggestions).

Mom said...

I am bummed I was looking forward to your bikini post snce that is one of the first posts of yours that I read, but I understand. So I say go with number 2

Anonymous said...

hard to decide, both are seriously beautiful. But I think I lean more towards the top in black. I'm sure you'll look great!

Cynthia said...

I think they both rock...I'd go #2, for Mommy and me swim class:)

Karen MEG said...

#1 higher cut legs, would make your already HOT gams looks gorg... #2 is a great colour, but that cut across the thigh... barely looks good on this toothpick model. You'd probably look sweet in it, but given the choice, I'd go for #1.

And that shirring, miracle look. I bought 2 suits with that type of cut when G was 8 months old and they were very forgiving. For mommy and tot class too!

have fun at the class. And if any moms are wearing any of those previous suits and looking good in them, please kill for me, 'kay?

Jennifer said...

I think that #1 would drive you nuts with the ties over the legs and I don't think it would flatter the girls nearly as much as #2. Halter straps are also nearly impossible to pull down which is important to consider when trying to coax a nervous toddler to float on their back while you support them. Trust me.

Don Mills Diva said...

Number 2, number 2, number 2.

Number 1 looks dated to me...

Lindsey said...

I have two questions and neither of which have to do with this post. I'm just curious....please don't be offended by my questions, I'm honestly just curious.

1. Are your Christian Louboutin stilettos comfortable?

2. How did you afford them on a dentist's salary? (I honestly don't know what the salary of a dentist is, but maybe it's good??)

OK, I have 3 questions...

3. Are they actually worth the almost $1,000.00 you paid for them???

I really hope I don't offend you, I just would really like to know. I can think of so many other things that I could buy with that much money and I just want to know if you feel that your purchase is worth it. Thanks!!

Val said...

I like the look of both of them. Though the danglies might annoy me a little so that would be a personal choice there. Why ot get two? I have a friend that buys 2-3 new suits every year. Me, I've had the same one for the last 5 years and finally just got a new one last week. Though it's a tankini, I like have the shorts to wear.

Aimee said...

I say they are both great, so either one would look nice. I'm going with #1 - but maybe that's just because I like the charcoal color. Does #2 come in charcoal, because then I'd maybe pick #2?!?! I probably didn't help much, did I?!?;D

Miss Lisa said...

#2 if you can get it in black--everything is better in thinner in black :)

tracey.becker1@gmail.com said...

I'm liking #2 as it has lower legs. My legs are no longer an asset, so I am assuming that it is a good thing to cover them up as much as possible. That suit seems to give the illusion that you aren't REALLY covering up your upper thighs, with that scrunchy thing.

krissy said...

#2 for sure and I'm going to call the company and ask them if they can super-size mine like the fries at McDonalds.

I hope there aren't any any young tadpole lifegaurds there or they just may drown after seeing you looking so hot!

Blessings From Above said...

I puffy heart #2!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Oooh, they're both really cute, but I love number 2 the best.

Jules said...

I like number 1 the best, I think. The high-cut leg looks hot, and if the ties bug you, just cut them off. They are probably just sewn on anyway.

Although 2 does look hot too. Why not buy both and send back the one that you like least?

Flea said...

You're less likely to fall out of number one. Always a priority for me. :)

Indy said...

Can you believe 97 people commented on your bathing suit choice? So cool.

Anonymous said...

The 2nd one. Cords on first not so good for tadpole swimming.

Meg said...

I think it depends on if you want the number 1,2, or 3 leg line. Guess I've been into Land's End suits too long.

3 Peanuts said...

I like #2 better also but I also agree with the person that said it would only look good on longer legs.

I am thinking you have long legs though... I might need to go buy your old model. I could use a new one piece. I mostly do the tankini thing though. I have no torso so bikinis look ridiculous on me.

Dziadek said...

Na pewno dla mezszczyzn #1

Ruth Cortejos said...

I like #1. I think the top part of the red one has great potential to squish breasts!

Steffie B. said...

The first one.....you'll just be smokin' in the tad pole class! lol

Manager Mom said...

The red one is kind of foxy. Wish I could pull that one off.

I actually like Lands' End suits, some are a shade frumpy, but many are cute. And they have those internal iron corsets or whatever they put in those Miraclesuit thingies...

Jan Ross said...

Definitely #2. It looks kind of 40's and movie-starish and is really cute.

Clare said...

OhMommy, I am sure you will look great in both! I love #2, very classy, and I love the neckline. Have fun in tadpole class, we are doing one in a few weeks!

PS I have been reading your blog for a while...found it through 3 peanuts. Kimber and I are good friends, and she got me blogging! It has been great reading about your adorable family. Best, Clare

Clare said...

OhMommy, I am sure you will look great in both! I love #2, very classy, and I love the neckline. Have fun in tadpole class, we are doing one in a few weeks!

PS I have been reading your blog for a while...found it through 3 peanuts. Kimber and I are good friends, and she got me blogging! It has been great reading about your adorable family. Best, Clare

Laski said...

I don't get it? Why do you have to buy only one? A body needs variety . . .

Jessica said...

I like #2. It says "tadpole" class and hot mama at the same time!

Anonymous said...

I go with number 1 - my reasoning:

No. 2 is very classy....it calls for kitten heels and a margarita in hand - maybe a flower behind the ear. But it doesn't cry tadpole!

No. 1, while the dangly things would be annoying - I'm sure you also own a pair of scissors! Clip the beady things off. It speaks of a sporty, yet sexy Mommy. Also, No. 1 is less likely to give onlookers an eye full of OhMommy cleavage while you work with your little one in the pool!!

Deb said...

The other moms will hate you in either of them. So buy both. :)

Secret Agent Mama said...

The charcoal one. Without A Doubt!

Mrs4444 said...

I like the second one. I'm so glad I saw your AVI on the Buzz (and commented) before coming here to read this (it made it that much funnier).

I haven't bought a suit in years. Guess I'll check these out (I have high hopes for getting in shape this summer, too!)

the mama bird diaries said...

i love #2. And yes, i'm in the market for a one piece myself. Sigh..

Val said...

I just got a Land's End catalog. They have got some cute ones in it. Kind of plain but they last for years.

Kellan said...

Red is my signature color - well red and then sometimes black/white and I also like just plain ol' black! They are both cute and which ever you choose, I'm sure you will look darling!!

Hope you are having a good weekend - thanks for coming by - see you soon - Kellan

Becks said...

I like the red one! So classy. I have been a lurker for a while now...my names Becks nice to meet you!

duchess said...

My fav is #2. I love the top part.

Oh, just break down & get both.

Eve Grey said...

Welll....Where #2 IS very classy, I myself prefer Number 1, I think it is cute, young & sassy.
Personally, I think number 1 only looks kinda hot because the model is gorgeous, otherwise I find it kind-of middle-aged looking.
We have to see them on you to make a true appraisal!

LLW said...

Ohhh....my vote is a little late, but I love number 2! :) and love it in red too, but everything looks great in black so I'm sure it will look nice in black.
Can't wait to see what you picked!

Love Tadpole swimming class, how cute is that name. :) Fun!

I hate swimming and it's going to be so difficult to suck that up one day when I have kids and to jump right in and pretend i'm enjoying myself!

Oh, and I have a friend, who is not a mom, that has the 1st and 2nd suit above your choices! Sexy and the City girls....that's who...I could never, I hate attention. ;)

adequatemom said...

The second one is far nicer!!

That reminds me, I've got to get into a bathing suit next weekend (ack!) for a friend's hottub party ... 6 weeks post-partum! :-0

carrie said...

Honey - anything that isn't a Miracle Suit impresses me.

Anonymous said...

#1 is my vote!!!

Mrs4444 said...

This post REALLY insprired me! Check out my response post later tonight!

Momisodes said...

Oh man...All I can think about when I saw those bathing suits in the middle was "that has to leave the WORST tan lines ever!"

I love the 2 options you posted. My vote is for the last :)

The Daily Stroll said...

I'd buy both and try them on for Mr. OhMommy and let him decide :) Both are really cute though I agree with the other commenters that the danglies might be a distraction. Good luck!!

Kash said...

The last RED ONE. I love it!

Unknown said...

do you realize that suit #2 is the same one miranda wears in SATC??? LOVE IT!!

Jan said...

Damn, this is a lot of comments. I vote for #1. Sorry I'm late, been out of town.

just jamie said...

131 comments? Are you kidding me Mrs. Popular? Sheez. Did you stop counting after, oh ... 75?

Anyways, I liking #2. Very Classy and Marilyn Monroe.

Hey it's Amy Benson said...

Hahaha! You should totally get that plunging 3rd one down to wear to the tad-pole swim class!!! Just kidding.... I love the red one! Tell me the site, I wanna get it. In red! :D

Anonymous said...

I too have been doing the same -- searching for that perfect one piece swimsuit! My vote is for the 2nd one -- you'll look very classy poolside!

Crystal D said...

OK, and what suit did you decide on?

Mama Smurf said...

Number 2 is classy!

Shellie said...

Am I still in time? I'm confused. They are both nice, but number 2 looks classier and like it will hold up better than the more informal #1, construction-wise.

Anonymous said...

I love this post. I don't think I have had my picture made in a swim suit since before my children. Children change you but I vow to be in shape before they graduate HS or maybe college?

 

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