Friday, July 25, 2008

A (private) Letter to my First Born Child on his Sixth Birthday.

Dearest Jay,

Today you turn six. Yesterday you were practicing how to display six on both hands. After cautiously researching all possibilities you determined the sixth finger needed to be your thumb.

Thumbs up, for six.

Yesterday, I repeatedly asked you to stop growing in which you giggled and replied that if you do not grow up then who will build me a roller coaster and pool on our front lawn. I do not necessarily need those in front of the house; however, these items represent happiness to you. Not a day goes by without your grand engineering plans for them. You want to be an engineer, a dentist, and even perhaps a hunter. Whatever you may become I know you heart will always be true. You have a heart of gold, dearest Jay.

Your love for our family is extraordinary. Fifi adores your gentle nature and enormous smile. Your voice naturally rises a number of octaves when speaking to her, "Tortellini, Fettuccine, My Fifi-ini." Lola, however loud and domineering, is able to listen to your schemes and together you execute them with perfection. She is your parrot, repeating your words of wisdom. You are your father's only son and together you explore the man's world of hardware stores, fishing creeks, and the biking roads. You look forward to building Legos with him in our dining room which you have baptised the "Lego room." You are my first born and forever have earned a special place in my heart. You made me a mother. Last month you asked me to stop singing to you at night time, only to realize my frown. I am still singing to you, per your request, every night. You heart is full of compassion and love.

You can dance. Sort of. Santa gave you a radio and shortly after you got your first library card. We frequent the library in search of boy band CDs. You are still so innocent, sweet, and untainted when you break out your moves. It is a good thing that we did not attend any weddings this year.

Every single night after you say your prayers in English and in Chicago, you thank God for the same thing. "Thank you God for the... Best. Day. Ever!" I have stopped asking you to pick just one thing to focus on being thankful for, because I realize that you are right. Even after the most boring and most un-eventful day you smile and thank him for the best day ever. Everyday with you is.... the best day ever.

You are sensitive and slowly learning how to deal with your emotions. "I stubbed my toe, really bad. And. I didn't EVEN cry!" Everyday I remind you about the strong men in your life you idolize and how they use words and not tears. Your father, grandfathers, Uncle Mike, Billy, and Phil are people that you adore. "That killed. But, I didn't EVEN cry."

"Peace" and "Awesome" and "Dude" are part of your everyday vocabulary now. When you utter those words you begin to strut like your father did when he was courting me.

Making friends for you comes naturally. On our trip to Chicago, you adopted Izabela, as your "best friend in Chicago." The last time we went to the pool, you adopted a boy two years your senior as your "best friend at the pool." With each friendship you make, I build your confidence up by telling you how friendly you are to other children. You have already started to stress over the fact that you do not speak Polish and making friends in Poland will prove difficult, on our vacation. "No one will understand me speaking." I convinced you that they will be amazed with your monkey bar skills and that friendships are built on strength anyways.

Haircuts can only take place on a Saturday morning. That is when Barber Joe treats the customers to free donuts. This year, you became a fast food connoisseur. At school you earned Pizza Hut coupons, you learned about the latest Burger King toys from commercials, and to keep baby Fifi awake on long rides home we have had our fair shares of McDonald's ice creams turned blizzards.

Sweet sweet Jay. I was a young 25 when I held you for the first time and cradled you in my arms. For months I would not allow anyone to hold you, you were mine. You slept curled up, on my chest, an hour each day for nearly a year. For that hour, the outside world did not exist. The phones were turned off, we had no cell phones or high speed Internet then, that hour belonged to us. I tried hard to synchronize my breathing to yours and inhaled your delicious baby scent. That hour belonged to us. I was never able to reproduce that special time with the girls. You are special to me. You made me a mother and forever we are bound.

Most of the time I have no idea what I am doing. For that I apologize to you, my first born. I have no time to read parenting books or research how to raise a son. I am trying to do the best that I can and offer you my love, confidence, and compassion. And I know that I am doing an acceptable job when you approach me in the morning, in your Power Rangers PJs and with smelly breath, whispering.... "Sweet little mousie Mama, your handsome guy is awake for the day."

And no matter how long my night was I turn to you and whisper back, "Good morning, this is the best day ever."

Thumbs up, for six. I can't wait to see how the next year unfolds.

Love,
Your mama

106classy comments:

Immoral Matriarch said...

Awwwww P. That was so sweet.

Clare Frederick said...

I totally agree...thumbs up for six. Does he still have his baby teeth? Baby teeth on my own six-year-old children have always been so precious to me. They make the best pics!

Miss said...

Seriously? Tears. In. My. Eyes. You are perfect. He is following well in your classy footsteps. Love.

maggie said...

Oh my gosh, I'm melting. Truly the sweetest thing. Ever. I love that he lets you sing to him because you were sad when he said not to because of what it says about him, and I love that you point to good men in his lives as examples of how to grow up to be a man because of what that says about you and what you want for your boy. I'm touched. Truly.

zoeyjane said...

That was gorgeous. Mine's going to come across as all bitchy and sarcastic, now. Like it wouldn'tve anyways.

Jay, you're welcome to marry Isobel - but prepare yourself cuz she's a feisty one and she might try to break your heart. You guys will have the most beautiful kiddos of your own.

Jo said...

piekne

krissy said...

Happy Birthday Jay.

I have a feeling that whatever path you choose in life, you will always succeed. You may be an emotional boy however, your emotions may lead you to the biggest reward in life. I see endless possiblites for you.

And in case you are wondering....I love Indaina Jones too and I would love to have a birthday for myself with Indiana Jones' whip on a cake. That was very creative.

Your momma wants you to stop growing and I understand her pain. But because I think you will do great things in life you need to grow to do such great things. And I know you will always be happy doing it. Content in with your decisions.

So for your sixth birthday, I wish you all your wishes. You seem to be a special boy and I love your emotions and sweetness. Your sister Lola makes up for the sass-a-frass, which I think she will be a good lawyer or in politics. Fifi will just be adorabe and smart. You have a great family and you are right.....every day is a good day.

Keep on being the best you can be and remember to remind your mom that you will always be her first born and she can always cuddle her 6 yr old son, even when you protest because lets face it....she's the mom and she can do whatever she wants.

Have a great party birthday boy!

Tena said...

what a wonderful blog entry, very moving! 6 is a great age!!
Happy Birthday Jay!!!

carrie said...

Happy Birthday Jay Dog! ;)

LaskiGal said...

I'm not so sure you need those parenting books . . . what you've figured out they don't teach in books. Seriously, I looked it up.

Happy Birthday, Jay! And to mommy, too . . .

momof3crazykids-Val said...

What a great letter to a great son.
Happy Birthday Jay!

Mr Lady said...

Dude, you are such a good momma. Happy birthday, Jay, and happy birthday to OhMommy, too. Lovelovelove.

Amy said...

So sweet! Happy Birthday to that boy of yours!

DysFUNctional Mom said...

Oh, that was incredibly sweet.
You don't need parenting books. You could write one! Your love for your children shines through in your writing.
Happy Birthday to Jay!
xoxo

vic said...

That was beautiful, I'm not sure I can say anything to do it justice.
Happy birthday Jay.

Laura said...

What an amazing post full of love...I am wiping the tears away so I can type. Just lovely!

Happy Birthday to your son and happy birthing day to you. I hope you both have a wonderful day. Best wishes.

kim-d said...

HAPPY, HAPPY **6TH** BIRTHDAY, JAY!

See, this is exactly what I was talking about the other day when I said I just know you are one of the good people. OHMommy, you could WRITE the book!

Shannon said...

Beautiful - that was wonderful to read! I hope he has a really special day (and you too, oh mommy!). I love the photo, it's adorable.

Kate said...

I am mostly a lurker here....but I read, with delight I might add, frequently about the fabulous day to dayness of OH family. Your writing inspires me, as does your ability to find the fun in the little "stuff".

Today...you brought me to tears! Your letter to sweet, 6 year old Jay (and truly....thumbs up to 6!)is so poignant and well scribed...it is something he will truly treasure all the days of his life.

You are fun and fabulous...and, well... frankly way too cool for ME to be leaving a comment for...but job well done on the letter for your Temple of Doom lovin' little man.

PEACE,

Kate (and Lia...who loves a good birthday anywhere, anyplace, anyone!)

Robyn said...

That was so beautiful -- I had tears in my eyes from the start.

Sounds like you're doing a pretty wonderful job as Jay's mamma!

Happy Birthday, big boy!

Lisa said...

That was so deliciously full of mama sap. And rightfully so - Jay sounds like an amazing boy who deserves every bit of love you give to him - plentiful amounts! Enjoy this oh-so-special Happy Birthday, you lovely Mama you! Happy six years of motherhood to you!

Mishelle Lane said...

Awwwwww... I feel that I could have written a lot of this about Mikey at that age. There is something special about the firstborn (boy).

Sreken Roden Den Na Toveto Ubavo Dete! Neka ti rasti golem, zdrav, i vesel!

<3

SuburbanCorrespondent said...

Hey - our dining room is the Lego room, too!

Kel said...

Awe, that is so sweet! 6, it is a year of many magnificant changes and it only goes by faster after that!
~K

Karen MEG said...

Oh, how my heart aches for the days of Power Ranger PJ's. Not so long ago, but seem a lifetime away.

Happy birthday to your sweet, sweet Jay. Six is such a wonderful age; and you, Ohmommy, are such a wonderful momma.

Loved this.

mommynotes said...

Your letter was so sweet. When he is an adult he will treasure it always. I started a journal for both of my girls the very day I found out I was pregnant. I wrote things I craved, my feelings and all the things they have done. When they are old enough to appreciate it, I will present their journal to them. I was 24 when I had my Sarah. She is 6 and starts first grade in a couple of weeks. My youngest will be 2 in a few weeks. Time goes by so quickly. My Sarah was born in Mother's Day weekend and she was the best gift ever. My Hannah was born right after my birthday and she was the best gift ever. I wanted to be a mother since I was a little girl and I believe it is the best job ever. I love the picture of Jay showing you six. I know you will treasure these moments forever.

Stephanie said...

So sweet :)

Happy 6th Birthday to Jay!!

Mandy said...

That is soooo sweet!!!

I'm not a cryer, but you yanked the heartstrings through that letter.

Jay's got a sweet, loving and caring Mama and his Mama has a sweet, loving and caring son as well.

Happy Birthdya Jay!!

Erin said...

My oldest just turned 4 yesterday! I am beside myself. I can't believe how fast time flies!

Happy Birthday, Jay! My all your dreams come true!

Courtney said...

How sweet!

Stephanie said...

You made me tear up. Now that my last baby has made her arrival, things like this take on so much more meaning!

Susan said...

Ok. You made me cry.
With a kid like that there is no doubt that you are doing a great job parenting. What a gem!
Love the "best day ever" prayer...that is priceless!

Jill said...

A touching letter. So moving. So full of love.

Happy birthday Jay. Happy birthday OHMommy. Both of you should enjoy your day!

Indy said...

Such a sweet letter. I feel the same way about the bonding with the first. So sweet.

Lisa@verybusymomwith4 said...

Awwwww. happy birthday Jay :)

Dziadek said...

STO LAT,STO LAT dla mojego kochanego Wnuka.Nie martw sie,dziadek Ciebie i Dziewczynki nauczy polskiego.Rowniez dziadek nauczy cie "soccer,ping pong ....i biznesu.
Kocham cie Wnuczku.

Smart A$$ Mom said...

That is a delight to read. Happy, Happy Birthday!

Squeaker Sullivan said...

THIS close to crying, and I do not cry easily.

I hope you print out and save a copy of this to give to him on a special occasion - perhaps his wedding day? Maybe you could do a toast and read it at the reception :) Everyone would cry!

Don Mills Diva said...

Made me misty.
Happy birthday Jay.

C and C Mommy said...

That post made me cry...I am constantly begging my 6 year old love bug NOT to grow up!! There will always be a special bond with my 1st born...not that I don't love his sister as much...it is just different...Have a wonderful day!!

haniaski said...

Happy Birthday Jay !
always with Love
H.

Angie @ KEEP BELIEVING said...

Six is fun. My oldest is approaching 7. Six has been very fun to watch. He grows up and matures exponentially each day. I am proud of his choices (most of the time) and I enjoy watching him adapt to this world he has spent so much time exploring. It is seriously fun.

KEEP BELIEVING

Meg said...

Happy Birthday Jay, and happy birthday to mom, who birthed you on this day.

Kathryn said...

That is so sweet. What a little dear.
Happy Birthday, Jay!

Tiaras & Tantrums said...

oh, so wonderful!
Aren't boys just delicious!!

renatamic said...

crying...at work, in cubicle...crying! great letter for your sweet, sweet birthday boy!

Helen E.M. Wright said...

Just perfect!!!! What a lucky boy!!!

Heather said...

That was totally awesome. Something he will look back and treasure always.

Happy Birthday Jay!!!

Julie said...

That was so sweet. I have been reading for awhile now, but haven't commented because your must be so busy. You are a great mom and your children are lucky to have you.

Happy Birthday Jay....

I just had to say that the letter is the sweetest, we write our daughter letters too. I am going to make a book for her to read when she is older.

Trenches of Mommyhood said...

That was beautiful.

Ashley said...

Happy birthday, kiddo. I love this - this is the best day ever!

xoxo
Ash
www.bosssanders.com

Courtney said...

So so sweet! I have tears in my eyes...

Courtney said...

So so sweet! I have tears in my eyes...

Kim said...

This was beautiful!!

Happy Birthday Jay!!

Have the best day ever..

Kimmylyn

April said...

Happy bday!, Jay
And OhMommy, what a beautiful tribute.

enthalpymama said...

Not the first nor the last to say it. Just so sweet.

Allison Says said...

Oh, you just made me cry a little. That was absolutely beautiful.

Happy 6th Birthday, Jay! Have the best YEAR ever!

Tonya said...

Oh Happy birthday to your Jay! My second a boy turned 6 on the 22nd. Such a sweet post! And I like the thumbs up too!

Elaine A. said...

So sweet. I love his prayer about the Best Day Ever. Little boys and their mommies certainly have a special relationship, especially you two. What wonderful words...

Happy Birthday Jay!

Eve Grey said...

That squeezed my heart, it really did.
I did my 6 year old posts ages ago and never edited or finished them. I must post them some day, just for the boys for later...

Aimee said...

Wow what a great post! I'm sure he'll cherish that letter one day!

Marmarbug said...

Awww. I am CRYING over here.
I loved that letter. I could feel your love for him with each word.
And I know that if I DO have another that my first will hold a special spot in my heart.

Jaina said...

Awww, I think I need a tissue. Happy birthday Jay.

Nap Warden said...

Happy Birthday Jay!!!:)

Grace said...

My sweet, the only one grendson, i love you soooo much, i am sooo lucky to have you, and you are sooo lucky to have your Mom
love

Kellan said...

Alexis' Birthday is this weekend - she'll be 7. Happy Birthday to your sweet boy! I hope it is wonderful!

Kellan

THopgood said...

Happy birthday Jay!

And congrats to OHmommy for raising such a sweet boy!

Krystyn said...

How sweet! Happy Birthday to your Jay!

Wendi said...

What an incredibly sweet letter from an incredibly sweet mama.
Happy Birthday Jay!
Or should I say "Dude"?

Rach (Mommy Learns to Blog) said...

OHMommy, you continue to amaze and humble me with your beautiful way with words. This is such a beautifully and honestly written letter written so clearly from the deepest parts of your heart. You are special. Jay is special. Thumbs up for 6! And BTW, you are clearly doing a great job at raising not one, but 3 beautiful children who are unbelieveably lucky to have a mommy who looks at life the way you do and who shares and teaches what she so steadfastly believes in. Happy birthday Jay (PS Leos rock - my birthday is in just 5 days!)!

Tara R. said...

Thumbs up! Happy Birthday!

lattemommy said...

Beautiful. Happy Birthday, Sweet J!

Clare said...

OH Mommy, what a beautiful post. Just having one, you took my breath away with all that Bradley is to me, and how much I have to look forward too! thank you. I too walked around the house with him napping in my arms, and smelling his beautiful smell. I guess I won't have the same opportunities with my other children.

You are a wonderful mom and don't worry about reading any parenting books...they confuse the moms anyway! Much love and happy birthday! XO, Clare

Crystal D said...

Thumbs up for number 6 Jay! You are such a wonderful little kid and you make your mom so proud. Happy Birthday big guy, I hope this year brings you lots of fun and exciting things.

Raising Z said...

I am tearing up right now! My boy will be two in two months and the past two years have just flown by...I can't imagine him being six :) Your little boy sounds like a very special person :) I hope he keeps up his innocence!

Blessings From Above said...

Someday, your sweet Jay will cherish this letter with all of his heart.

Happy 6th Birthday Jay!!!

chris said...

Beautiful. Thumbs up for six.

Maureen said...

Aw, crap... quit making me cry!!!!

Happy Birthday kiddo. He is going to cry when he gets older and reads this again.

A Whole Lot of Nothing said...

Thanks for sharing your private letter. And for making me *tear*.

Kelley said...

Happy Birthday to your little man.

That letter was beautiful. I write letters to my kids on their birthdays too. He will love reading this when he gets older.

Smootches babe

Tiffany said...

A-MAZING... What a precious letter to sweet Jay. Happy Birthday to all of you!

skiplovey said...

That is the sweetest letter ever. What a special guy.

flickrlovr said...

You melted more than one of us with that sweet, precious letter to your boy. What beautiful words.

Katie said...

That was too sweet, Hope he had a Wonderful Birthday!!!

Happy Days said...

You really do have a way with words! That was heartfelt. Truly beatiful!
Happy Birthday to your boy!!!!

LceeL said...

Thank you. And a belated Happy Birthday to Jay. You are one lucky little boy.

NotsoDomesticGoddess said...

That was beautiful!
Happy Birthday to Jay!

tammy said...

That is the sweetest thing ever, and brought back the many memories I have of my first born son, too. We are truly lucky to have little boys in our lives.

thethirddegree said...

Not a mom. Crying now. THAAAANKS.

Choosing Happiness said...

Your letter to your children are always so beautiful because they are written from your heart. I love how you talk about that hour with Jay and how you could never duplicate that. There are things I had/did with my first that i could never duplicate because there is never just one again. So true.

Happy 6th to the J-man!


Kim

Rhea said...

That's a great photo and a sweet letter. Save it for him. One day he will LOVE it.

Karen said...

What a wonderful memento to have him look back on. And the photo is awesome!

Happy 6th birthday, Jay!

JCK said...

This was so beautiful! He's going to treasure this someday. And so will you.

4funboys said...

every child should be so blessed... to have a mom like you.

what a great gift.

krissy said...

Thank you for your comment. I only spoke from the heart about Jay. He is a child after my own heart.

You will always have a place in my heart.....always!

Hugs!

E said...

You know a whole bunch more than you ever give yourself credit for..and we have all loved watching this sweet learning curve besides

Lacey said...

So sweet!

Belle said...

Absolutely beautiful...He will treasure those words forever and a day.

Tracey said...

Sweet... Happy birthday, Jay! Your Momma sure does think you're awesome!

LaskiGal said...

Let's round this to a nice neat number, shall we? Hope Jay (and his family) had a wonderful b-day weekend!

Miss Britt said...

Found this post via BlogHer Ads - so glad I did. This was beautiful.

crunchiemummy said...

That was just lovely! Happy 6th birthday to Jay!

Colleen said...

Aw - I ♥ the quote about building a swimming pool and roller coaster in the front yard. What a sweetie!

MamaWise said...

Sorry this is late... Happy Birthday to Jay!!!! Yay Six!

I have been MIA partially because I have to tend to my parents who are still in town... will be back in full force after Wednesday :)

BusyDad said...

Excuse me for being late to the party OHMommy! But can I squeeze in here and just say a hearty Happy Birthday? What a kick ass kid. I can tell just from this that he and Fury would get along famously. When two lego forces unite, watch out!!

just jamie said...

I'm finally catching up on some Classy Chaos, and my oh my have you ever set the bar high? I haven't read the other 105 comments ahead of this one, but might I just be the 106th person to say, bravo. I hope like crazy that sweet boy of yours knows what a glorious mama he has. By the sounds of it, he's first in line to sing your praises. And I'll be #106.

 

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