Tucked away inside this shoe box is a parenting revelation that cost me $43.89.
There are times in my hectic life, where I get caught up in the moment and lose sight of my ultimate goal as a mother. I will be the first to admit that I have made and do make parenting mistakes.
This time around, before my mistake was executed, I had both my mother and my husband intervene.
Those two very important people in my life only needed to say, "she is so young" for me to get back on track with my goal of raising confident and well adjusted children. That is all it took for my epiphany and it only cost me $43.89. Parenting revelations were not on sale this week.
So. What is inside the box?
It has been properly labeled and now being stored in our basement crawlspace. My beautiful, confident, and extremely well adjusted 4.5 year old daughter agreed with me (us). We packed away the once admired goods in a "time capsule" to be opened when we are both ready.
Flashback two days prior to packing our "time capsule" when I got caught up in the moment. That led to my mistake. That led to my epiphany.
Lola could barely contain her excitement as she ran her fingers through the blond wig and examined the sparkly microphone. "Yes. YES. YES!!!!!!!" She screamed. "I figured it out. I want to be Hanna Montana for Halloween." I took her hand and together we jumped up and down surrounded by other cheaply made costumes in Target. I stopped for a minute to make sure my indecisive preschooler was sure, "Are you positive? What about this fairy, or how about this kitten, or perhaps even a witch? That would be cool." Lola squeezed my hand and looked me straight in the eyes, "Yes, I am s-u-r-e. Sure. I love Hannah Montana!"
And so. In one hand she firmly held the costume and in the other she lovingly held my hand as we walked up to the friendly people in red polos to check out.
We barely made it out of the parking lot before she tore open the packaging, littering the cheap contents all over the minivan. "I. Love. It."
She. Loved. It.
I loved that she loved it.
My husband came home and did not love it. "She is too young." He whispered in my ear as we watched Lola bounce around the room screaming into the microphone. "She is growing up way too quickly." Our eyes met and I was speechless, usually my whipped husband always agrees with my decisions. "Really? But she loves singing... she wants to be a star... she's so cute." He silently shrugged his shoulders and walked away. "But..."
Although I completely agreed with him, I desperately wanted a second opinion and emailed that photo to my mother. "She is so young." My mother called me after receiving the photo. "What? What do you mean? You dressed us as punk rockers in mini skirts for Halloween in the 80s. Kash was in kindergarten. THIS is the same concept." I tried to convince her, already knowing in my heart that I was wrong, but I really like to be right.
It was my turn to silently shrug my shoulders and walk away. I needed to think and reconnect.
I gotta work it!
Again and again 'til I get it right
You live and you learn it!
And if I mess it up sometimes...
I do not want Lola to live in a tiny bubble. Okay, perhaps a very BIG bubble. But I digress.
It seems we can't even walk through our grocery store without being exposed to Hanna Montana. There is drinkable yogurt with Hannah Montana packaging, cereal with her face plastered on the box, and underwear with teeny tiny sparkly guitars packaged for four year olds. Walking through Lola's preschool there are dozens of girls with huge High School Musical backpacks and Hannah Montana lunchboxes.
With so much exposure to Hannah Montana and others on a daily basis she has fallen in love.
Is there anything wrong in idolizing in what seems to be sensible, gifted, and well adjusted singer? No, not really. I believe it is healthy, in moderation. However. She is only four. "And a half." She would add.
Was the world a different place 20 years ago? No, not really. My sister (only months older then Lola is today) and I idolized Tiffany and Debbie Gibson. Shall I refresh your mind of some lyrics I knew by heart?
There doesn't seem to be anyone around
I think were alone now
The beating of our hearts is the only sound"
Nevertheless. After much thought and after looking over all the costumes she has worn throughout the Halloweens: a pink pig for her 1st (currently selling on ebay), a pink Aurora princess with a glow in the dark leg cast for her 2nd, a beautiful bride that was stopped by dozens for her 3rd....
And. OH. MY. GOSH. She can not be Hannah Montana for her 4th Halloween ever. She IS growing up way too fast.
"Lola, honey?" I approached my daughter the morning after crying over years worth of Halloween pictures. "You can not be Hannah Montana this year. I was on the dot com and it said that she was created for girls ages 6 to 15." Lola blinked. "And. And girlfriend, let's put this costume in a box and find something better for your age."
"Okay?" I asked.
"Yes, Mama. Okay. Let's find something else." My beautiful, confident, well adjusted, and smart daughter replied.
She has so many years ahead of her to stuff her feet into tight stilettos and paint her face with makeup. This is her time to wear ridiculously cute fairy costumes, princess gowns, huge butterfly wings and to pretend she is anything.
As for our "time capsule." We might crack it open on rainy days this Fall and together sing, "Nobody's Perfect."