Friday, October 31, 2008

In the end, they all got candy.

My husband. He is an only child. He is well adjusted, happy, and very easy going. As a child, I am totally assuming that his parents spent loads of, what my children call, "private time" with each parent. I am picturing my husband as a child in a hand crafted Halloween costume holding each one of his parent's hands as they guide him from house to house Trick or Treating. I am totally assuming that he rarely, if ever, fought for the attention of his parents.

One of the most difficult things about having more than one child, for me, is the guilt factor. I always feel like someone is being left out of their "private time" with their parents. "Mom!" "MAMA!!!!" "mooooooommy....." Everyday I feel as if I am being pulled in a million different directions trying to acknowledge each question, tantrum, and cry for attention.

One of the best things about having more than one child, for me, is the opportunity to embrace and fall in love with each one of their diverse personalities. "Mom!" "MAMA!!!!" "mooooooommy....." I love seeing it all. I do. I really really do.


First Born.
He was born to love. Yesterday, Jay lovingly emptied out his backpack and spilled out a handmade Halloween greeting card for each member of our family, for his tadpole turned frog named Swimmer, and our Dachshund named Murphy all of which he made during his free time at school. He never forgets anyone and for that I secretly slipped him a Kit Kat. The priceless picture below says "Happy HallOWEEn MuRPHY" and has our happy dog dressed in a hot dog costume smothered in ketchup and mustard.



Middle Child.
She was born to test us. What my only child husband does not know is that our middle child was born to test our patience. So, when he hid the bag of Halloween candy two nights ago, he never imagined that the middle child would make it her Thursday afternoon mission to find the bags of candy. Once Lola stumbled upon the loot, I allowed her to swipe a snickers bar much to her delight. The priceless picture below was taken a split second after Lola finally found the candy hidden in the dinning room buffet's middle drawer. Ahem, Honey? She found the candy.



The Baby. The Third Child. The Last Child.
Always skipping two steps behind the other two, she happily races to keep up with the gang. On a recent Trick or Treating trip at the nursing home it only took the 20 month old Feenster two "door" visits before she fully embraced the concept and was ready to rock and roll. Dressed in a "vintage" 50 cent garage sale Halloween costume she said, "Treep or cheap." She raised her bag up to the elder's wheel chairs and instead of saying thank-you she waved and screamed "Bye-bye." On the way home, I gave her a sucker. The priceless picture below was captured just seconds after she met a 90+ year old woman named by the same name she has, in real life. You can see how happy she was and I am so glad, actually thrilled, that I had my camera with me to capture that special moment.


In the end they all got candy, were more or less treated equally, and lived happily ever after as a threesome on Halloween night.

50classy comments:

The White House said...

I hear you on that! I feel like my three are always fighting for some lovin' (not that they are totally deprived). How blessed we are that they also have each other! My three are so close and enjoying their siblings more everyday. So I am only semi-nervous about when #4 comes along.

How very funny that you didn't have your camera for your baby. Story of my life!

Flea said...

How very cool. Really, we have more than one child so they don't grow up to be selfish. Not that your husband is selfish or anything. Your children certainly aren't. They get that from their mom, right? ;)

Jeni said...

You know what Bill Cosby says about parents who have an only child? They don't qualify as parents because the mystery is gone. They always know which child did the bad deeds!
As an only child, I have to agree with his theory. My Mom always know who to look for and who to chastise whereas with my three kids, it was a constant challenge to learn the truth of who did what, when and where. Some mysteries only recently solved when, as adults the real culprit may have finally 'fessed up!

Rhea said...

Treap or cheap. I love it!!

Have you read your kids The Hallo-Weiner? It's a really cute Halloween book about a wiener dog.

Your kids are adorable!

MommyTime said...

I love the photo/illustrations. It's so true that they are so so different from each other. That's what keeps it so interesting, even as it keeps it so challenging, isn't it? Have a wonderful Halloween tomorrow!

Eve Grey said...

So cute. I am fiding parenting three soooo difficult right now. They are always in competition for my attention and it's driving me crrrrazy! Their pure bliss while carving pumpkins tonight though was just breathtaking. They all went to bed sooo happy.

Colleen - Mommy Always Wins said...

Somehow your depiction of Fifi's trick or treating fits PERFECTLY with her personality. :-)

Happy Halloween!

A Whole Lot of Nothing said...

My two girls are so different, yet alike in a lot of ways. One is a perfectionist where the other was born to test her patience. I think this is done on purpose to make me slowly go insane.

Rachel said...

I'm glad you decided to stay with us!

carrie said...

Oh . . . I know what you mean, about one of them always vying for your attention and trying to give equal time to each child.

It is a constant battle!

Happy Halloween! Treep or cheap! :)

Tiaras and Tantrums said...

great post - I have 3 little ones who are unique and keep me on my tippy toes!!

Holy Candy girl! How many treaters come to your house!!!!!!

Kelley said...

I just went and bought candy (lollies here in Oz) because of all you Americans incessant talk of all things sweet.

I have 3 too babe. But mine are older. Want the horror stories now or do you want it to be a surprise...

bwaaaa haaaa haaaaaa

Smootches

Cecily R said...

Three. Is. Hard. And I am a parenting wuss.

Treep or cheap is just about the cutest thing EVER!

DysFUNctional Mom said...

Treep or cheap? I'm dying! Too funny. I love Lola's outfit in her picture.
What a great post!

Tara R. said...

I love the expression on Lola face in her 'discovery' photo. Jay is just a sweetheart, and 'Feenster' could not get any cuter.

Prefers Her Fantasy Life said...

I have three kids and that, frankly, is why I drink.

But seriously, Spouse is the oldest of seven--they never had "personal time" with their parents, but they had and still have each other. Happy Halloween.

Lisa@verybusymomwith4 said...

I know exactly what you mean--I spent my time trying to spent some time with each child or trying to run away just to get a moment alone.

And the differences just amaze me!

Mama Smurf said...

I wonder if I could get away with filling my 3rd child's scrapbook with handmade self drawn photos...do you think she'll notice??

;)

Smart A$$ Mom said...

That is sweet that you even try! I can't imagine handling one more baby than I have and applaud all mommies who make it happen!!!

Indy said...

Love the photo. Charging my camera right now for the morning parade. :) At least I have you there if it isn't ready. You are my photographer.

Tracey said...

What a lovely photo of Fifi!! She looks so happy...

I LOVE that your middle child is a MIDDLE child. I am the middle and boy oh boy does MY middle child test me in ways that my first NEVER would have... Payback?

Kel said...

Having more than one is definitely a challenge, but it is so worth every moment of it!
Happy Halloween!
~K

Rach (Mommy Learns to Blog) said...

LOVE Fifi's costume!

A view from the other side: I am a mom of just one whose only memories are of "mommy having a back boo-boo". I feel like I am never giving her enough attention to make up for all the time I feel like I've "missed out on" with her, and she is SO very demanding of my time. Even as I type this, she is happily watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse but trying to grab my left hand to stop me from typing! Sometimes I feel guilty for needing a little "me time"!

That said, my FIRST, only, and possibly only ever is made of pure sugar but was most definitely put on this earth to test us!

Love this post - your kids are so special and I love that you take the time to point out and celebrate the things that make them so special and unique!

Happy Halloween!

Clare said...

i have to imagine it is hard to divide your time between three! it looks like you are doing a wonderful job though! give yourself some credit, it looks like they ALL had a fabulous halloween, even little miss fifi!

Lisa said...

I hear you on the attention thing. I worry about Lu when #3 makes his/her arrival. But I always remind myself how wonderfully rich the bond between siblings is, and how much they receive from each other - things I couldn't give them if I tried!

Happy Halloween!!!

mommynotes said...

So cute! Sarah was born to love too. She makes cards for everyone. She loves writing little I love you cards for family and friends and jumps with glee when my husband announces he has put it in his office at work.

Courtney said...

What a sweet post. I totally feel you on the mom guilt. I always wonder if I'm going to screw one up more than the other!

Jo said...

Okay,I am Lola in adult form. I too would go on the hunt for the candy, and would inevitably come out victorious!

LOOOVE the picture of the feenster....did you do something different with her hair?

buzki
jo

Shannon said...

Yes, yes, yes - the guilt is so much of my life too. Especially when I get comments from others saying - "how can you possibly have time for all of them?". I try so hard to spend time with each one, make them all feel special, and then balance it with doing things all together as a family. Exhausting. But - as you point out so well, as usual - completely worth it when you look at and appreciate the myriad of other benefits.

Our three are very similar, except your Lola is our first born. Keeps me on my toes, every second of the day ;-)

Love the candy shot - Kit Kat - mmm, mmm!!!

Every Day Goddess said...

Love this post! I have three also and the dynamics always amaze me. The older they get the more interesting it is in how the interact with each other!

Treap or Cheap!!!

Krystyn said...

Your kids are such dolls all with their own personalities and in their own special ways. It's funny how the stereotypes about birth order seem to fit so well (and yet not so well).

Happy Halloween!!!

LceeL said...

Just seeking a moment of clarity here .. did they live happily ever after as a threesome - or did they live AS happily as a threesome, in which case - OH Mommy!

Blessings From Above said...

I totally get the "guilt factor" - and I only have two children. I can't even imagine the many different directions you are pulled with three little ones.

Treap or cheap - I love it! :)

Elaine A. said...

I wonder if our parents had the same worries. I guess they did. Although I was probably a little "spoiled" since I was the baby girl with 3 older brothers...

Anyway, your kids are precious! I love that card and the finding of the candy and the cuteness of going to the retirement community! And I am SO glad they all got candy! ; )

Burgh Baby said...

Alexis has spent part of day at daycare trick-or-treating at the assisted living home next door. I am very afraid of just how much candy she may manage to snag. Fortunately, though, she can't reach our special candy hiding place!

Stephanie said...

Beautiful! When my kids get older, it's going to be a challenge to make sure they're all treated differently, because as you pointed out, they all have different personalities. one of mine is happy to sit with me for 5 minutes a day during Diego, the other demands me all the time, the other one I haven't figured out yet as she's too young. It's an amazing journey with our little ones. Seeing them so cute and innocent wanting candy!

Karen MEG said...

Your children are so lovely, and obviously each gets his/her share of loving mommy time (and I'm sure daddy time too).

Great costume on your little candy detective... and that Halloween card made by your precious boy. Melting my heart...

Nan Patience said...

My husband was an only child, too, while I'm the middle of three. He's a gentle soul, and I'm a mongrel compared to him. There's stuff that he just doesn't get. Dysfunction is fun.

just jamie said...

We had a mermaid in the ho-ou-se last night too. Love the Lola pic. And Jay, sweet Jay. Melts me with his gracious heart.

April said...

This is why I can relate to you. We're both outnumbered!

enthalpymama said...

Happy Halloween!

My kids never found our candy, but that's because a third child hid it (me). Of course, I was mostly hiding it from my husband - tee hee hee.

Shellie said...

They also learn they aren't the center of the universe when they don't get your undivided attention. When you do give them attention, it means more. I feel torn all the time too, though.

Maggie, Dammit said...

TOO FUNNY.

3 Peanuts said...

I love how you appreciate the gifts of each individual child.

Kim

Shannanb aka Mommy Bits said...

I just have two and I am always worried that they aren't getting enough one-on-one time.

Like you, I am a sucker for cuteness and am just about always likely to sneak them special treats!

Miss said...

The middle drawer of the buffet? He may have had a lot of attention, but not so bright that one. ;-)

Sophie, Inzaburbs said...

It's funny how their personalities seem to mold a little to their place in the family. As I was reading this it struck me how similar in their actions they seem to be to my three.

Having more than one certainly does tear you in many directions. But isn't is GREAT when they all play together?

Huckdoll said...

Cute!! My little ones were mermaids, too this year.

* TONYA * said...

I wish my only child husband was raised in your husbands family then I wouldn't have him vying for my attention along with the 3 kids.

she who thinks/knows she rules the roost
one set to test my patience
and a daredevil.

Jaina said...

I got both sides of it, I was an only child for 11 years, and now I have two wonderful little brothers. :)

 

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