Thursday, January 08, 2009

I flunked high-school biology....

The Feenster had her emergency playgroup on Wednesday morning and managed to entertain the three boys without showing them her ability to suck up drinkable yogurt off the floor. She did, however, kick a boy and scream NO, IT'S MINE and make him cry. So, all in all, it was a pretty classy play date.

I also called an emergency play date for my kindergartner on Wednesday afternoon. It has been weeks since he had a friend, all to his own, over to play. The boys have been friends since before they could properly pronounce "Thomas the Train" and now they are all... Ben 10 is rad and Clone Wars rocks and light sabers are soooooo cool and Nerf guns are aweeeesome! Heh.

But. I digress.

The boys played with the kitten. Tod. With one D.

They ran after Tod with the tiny blue mouse toy teasing him, encouraging Tod to prance around. Jay and Ryan spent the entire hour of their precious play date playing with our kitten. No weapons. No games of tag. No boisterous boy troubles. The kitten followed them around and the boys gently pet him and cuddled. It was very sweet.

"Where is his pen!s?" Ryan asked lifting the cat up for Jay to see.

"I. Don't know."

"Where is it? You said Tod was a boy!"

"I don't know where it is. MOMMA.... Where is Tod's pen!s?"

I grabbed Tod, flipped him over, and looked around seeing nothing resembling the above mentioned genital. Our boy Tod, the kitten, has no male genital.

And I, for once, as a mother had nothing to say. I had no answers, Our kitten Tod has no pen!s. And my first born son, the one that we had rescued Tod for wants answers and little does he know that his mother failed high school biology and in college took a class entitled science for the non-science majors. I had nothing to say.

"So. Do boy kittens have boy parts? If so, where are they?"

My son thinks I know the answer to everything. Honest, to gawd... I have no idea where the kitten's pen!s is. And. I don't want to google that tonight.

56classy comments:

Steph @ Diapers and Divinity said...

That. is. Hilarious. Maybe you should consider calling the cat, "Todette."

Mr Lady said...

My kids thought I made ALL the birthday cakes when they were little. They heard about a neighbor going to a birthday party once, and asked if we were going, too. I said no, and they asked, "Mom, they have to have a cake! We HAVE to go so you can give them their cake!"

I don't even bake very good cakes.

Momo-Mama said...

Geez...all you have to figure out is where the cat penis is...

I get to discuss oral sex, demystify wet dreams and learn about birth control from my 11 year old... (seriously) here's a link to the post that proves it! Mom, what's a sex shop?

Vic said...

I see two options - Tod's had his todger chopped off or Tod really is Todette. Not quite sure how you8'd explain either of them to Jay though.

♥spoiled mommy♥ said...

Oh wow-I know that is hard to tell when they are still young.
Good luck!
Thats all I have to say about that one.

Smart A$$ Mom said...

TOD, like my favorite handbag....

maybe his testicles haven't descended yet?

Laura said...

Mommys know everything...or they just make it up...hee hee!

Indy said...

I am so proud. I am relieved that it was only the cat's penis they were looking at.

Robyn said...

Tell Jay what my parents told me, "look it up!" Although, these days, who KNOWS what he would find on the internet...

Good luck with that one!

krissy said...

Aren't things supposed to "fall" after awhile? I asked my husbandand he said the "nuts" are supposed to fall. And he said if it doesn't have a penis, it is a girl cat.

I'm cracking up right now. Laughing my butt off. Thank you.

amanda said...

yep. pretty funny.

LceeL said...

I don't believe I'm doing this - but here goes - Determining the sex (gender) of a kitten is easy when you know what to look for.

Lift the kitten's tail. The opening just under the tail is the anus. Below the anus is the genital opening which is round in males and is a vertical slit in females. In kittens of similar size, the distance between the anus and the genital opening is greater in the male than the female.

Eeeeewwwwwww.

Half Gaelic, Half Garlic! said...

I am clueless when it comes to cats....my guess is as good as yours!!

Maybe you could call the vet and ask...LOL!!! Now that would be a funny phone conversation to capture on video....

Kim said...

What the heck is a pen!s? **snicker**

denise said...

Science for the non-science major, boy do I wish they had that went I went to college along with alegebra for the non-algebra major!!!

Tracey said...

Oh man...

They kind of, um, suck it in. You can probably see his itty bitty kitty balls if you want to search long enough.

Just take the vet's word for it: he's a boy.

Kel said...

haha-boys and their penis speak. I have girls so when my stepson was here for xmas break and all he could talk about was 'shooting the guy in the penis' on his gameboy I was at a loss for words. Boys?!

Good luck finding the missing parts..hehe!
~K

Stephanie said...

Hilarious! Doesn't look like you need to pass biology for that one...you can clearly see kitten balls...if those aren't there...yup, you guessed it. It ain't a boy.

Good luck!

Crystal D said...

Bahahaha. Who told you Tod was a boy? Could they have been wrong? I have no idea. LceeL sounds like she has all the correct info, so I guess you'll be doing a little exam today. I only knew Bella was a girl because she had little nipples and she was pregnant when I found her. LOL

Courtney said...

That's funny! Good luck with that one!

Blessings From Above said...

OMG! I have a male cat, or so I thought, but now that you mention it, I've never actually saw his male parts.

Tee aka The Diva's Thoughts said...

The things kids come up with! lol

Keri said...

The vet tech in me is even blushing...
LceeL is correct... and to go a bit 'further'... the pen!s is encapsulated. once would need to squeeze the correct area to make it 'appear'.
wow, flashbacks to kitty catheters... i think i need to go finish my coffee now...

Flea said...

Sometimes it takes awhile for things to descend with kittens. If Tod's really a male, it will all show up post puberty. And make sure you have him snipped then. Who told you this was a boy cat?

Ali said...

kids are awesome, eh?

aren't you kind of glad you can't see it!??! i touched my puppy's wiener by accident yesterday and have been apologizing to him ever since!

Michele said...

Yeah I think you have another female in the house. I am pretty sure cats are like dogs and they do have the same plumbing. This is hilarious!

Tiaras and Tantrums said...

oh my goodness - I know this - I know this - (I grew up in Iowa - my grandmother had a really big farm) - OHMommy - they hide (the nether region that is) - as in not exposed like on humans. When used, you will see it. Word - get it loped off at 6 months old!

3 Peanuts said...

Oh the things I learn over here! I just read all of the comments....know I will know what to say should I ever find myself in this boat.

I did have to laugh at the Ben10 is rad and CLone Wars rock....I thought you were eavesdropping in my house.

Kim

MommyTime said...

This is excellent information to have, thanks to all your commenters, just in case I'm ever called to determine the sex of a kitten. As for the Ben 10, I have to add that my son (nearly 5) is FASCINATED, but never having actually been allowed to watch it (play it? I'm not completely sure what Ben 10 is, anyway...), he pronounces it "Bun Tun." And he glares at me if I dare to pronounce it any other way, which I find completely hilarious. It has nothing to do with a cat pen!s, but anyway, there it is...

Krystyn said...

I think I would have run to the other room and brought them Clone Wars to distract them.

I'm thinking Tod might be a girl, too. Just saying. But, their manhood is quite hard to find on a kitten...and if he's fixed, his balls will be shriveled up to nothing.

Elaine A. said...

Oh poor little guy... I mean girl... I mean hmmmm.... Hope you find it soon...?

Bethany said...

Oh gosh, don't ask me. I've never looked, truthfully. But what a funny story!

zandor said...

That is pretty funny. ALso, I have a cat that is male and I know he is male because the humane society that we got him from said he was, but I don't think I have ever seen his. I have two male dogs and thiers are obvious, but I don't know about his. I'm pretty sure he was fixed though, but I don't know.

April said...

Oh, the amount of questions my kids ask where I have NO clue...I'm just thankful we live in an age where, if necessary, we can turn to the 'net.

Shannon said...

Interesting question :-) I remember once looking for our dog's penis . . . I did eventually find it so the kids could rest easy. High school biology hardly prepares us for real-life as mommies!!

The Daily Stroll said...

Very funny! I'm not sure I would have been able to find the "hehe" on a kitten either and I took college Biology and Anatomy and Physiology. Pretty sad huh?? :)

enthalpymama said...

That is REALLY funny.

Michelle13 said...

Oh that is too funny! It is entirely possible the kitty has already been snipped. The vets can do this now when the kitty weighs 2 pounds!

Kj said...

lol.

check for it when he's been purring or kneeding a cushion... you might have better luck :-)

owner of two boy cats, and one little gal doggy.

Lisa said...

i dunno know where it is either, but that made me laugh :)

Momo Fali said...

I hate cats (hate is a strong word, but it's true...because they scare the crap out of me), and either way it's still a cat!

Tara R. said...

We have all female pets. I have no sage advice for you.

Jaina said...

Lol, I hope you figure it out.

Rhea said...

Ok, seriously, I need a photo of said kitten's private area to assess the situation.

and I'm totally cracking up.

Nap Warden said...

You know what...now that I think about it...I don't want to know;P

Ashley said...

Hehe. So, will you still name it Tod?

Clare said...

this is hilarious!! i have no idea either!!

Kate Coveny Hood said...

I guess boy kittens look androgenous? I thought you could see *something* even if it is small... One of the many reasons that I don't look forward to having pets...awkward conversations about animal privates.

Kelley said...

I have no clue!

Oh and BTW babe, you are the first to know.

My baby went on the pill today. For period pain but it is the pill all the same.

*head explodes*

Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] said...

Are you sure he's not a she?

Janah @ So Not Mom-a-licious said...

I'm sorry, but all I did was laugh at this entire post. I think maybe it was because I was picturing the whole thing going down. The boys looking, you looking. Thanks for the laugh!

anglophilefootballfanatic.com said...

Oh, my. Yeesh. I haven't had to do boy parts on animals yet. I'll keep this in mind. Glad you were edumacated about the fixing.

Mrs4444 said...

Wow-Too funny. Just popped by to see how you've been doing. Looks like you have been loving life and all of it's silly happenings. Happy New Year!

momof3crazykids said...

Ok, this is too funny. I would not know either. That would have to be a google it thing.

Immoral Matriarch said...

I had NO idea. Wow.

Jessica said...

Hilarious story! Thanks for sharing!

 

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