Monday, February 09, 2009

The story behind my potty mouth on Saturday night...

Once upon a time, on the warmest Saturday Cleveland has seen since Halloween, a gorgeous mother sent her handsome husband to his office to fill root canals and gathered her beautiful children for an impromptu field trip downtown. (Oh hush. I'm in a bad mood & that makes me smile.)

The weather was glorious and the children jumped in puddles of melted snow. The young family enjoyed the warmth of the sun on their cheeks and even exposed their mitten-less fingers to the air. There was no reason to rush home that Saturday morning so they frolicked around the city and were thankful for mother natures good grace.

Upon returning to their suburban fortress the gorgeous mother heard water coming from a near distance. She smiled knowing that her beautiful baby had an obsession with brushing her teeth and must have forgotten to turn the faucet off. But this was not so. The sound of water dripping did not originate in the bathroom.

"It's an emergency, handsome husband, you must come home." The gorgeous mother cried into the phone. The husband knew it was important for the mother never called him at work and so he was forced to cancel his afternoon patients and rush home to save the day.

In the meantime, inside the suburban fortress, the older two beautiful children ran around trying to locate towels and buckets while the mother pushed a blue plastic baby pool in place under the leaking ceiling in the computer room. With the pool in place the youngest beautiful child threw toys inside the pool assuming it was play time while the gorgeous mother ran around the house in stilettos accessing the damage done to her computer room, master bathroom retreat above, and enormous basement playroom below.

"Hurry handsome husband. The sun is melting the snow on our roof so fast it's raining on all three floors of our suburban fortress."

The children sang, "It's raining, it's pouring, the old man is snoring..." as the handsome husband effortlessly peeled away at the soiled ceiling made up of incredibly beautiful molding.


The family watched as the pool gathered three inches of water and called their home insurance company's hotline. "We will send an agent out first thing Monday morning in the meantime take pictures and video of the damage." The operator was unaware that the gorgeous mother had already circulated pictures and video throughout the world wide web on twitter, facebook, and youtube.

After pulling away the carpet... damage done.



At the end of the day, the handsome husband and gorgeous mother were very thankful that they still had 3/4 of a roof over their beautiful childrens' heads.

The end.

69classy comments:

Laura said...

OH my!!!!!!! That is all I can write! OH MY!

Ainsleylove* said...

You have such a great sense of humor!! So much for the play room!! Good luck with the fix up! Happy to hear everyone is safe!

Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] said...

You get a free pass for cursing all you want when you come home to that!

Buttermouth said...

Oh wow! Hopefully the home insurers will give you a great settlement.

Best of luck!

Steph @ Diapers and Divinity said...

I. feel. your. pain. We just had the roof company here on Friday to give us an estimate for our leaky ceiling in 3 rooms thanks to the melting snow on the roof. Curses to ice damns.

Jessica said...

SO sorry to hear about the house! Best of luck with that.

Congratulations to Kate! How exciting is that?!

Also, love the hairy legs drawing. I'm guessing that OHmommy has since tried to keep up with her hairy legs a bit better...?

:)

Lisa said...

Oh. My. Gawd. I would have flipped! Glad you have a good sense of humor - the video is fabulous! And may the insurance company send a kind, caring person to your house in the morning ;)

Chiloe said...

OMG !!!!!!!!!!!! Hope the insurance company cover it and that it can be fix very fast ;-)

Mama Smurf said...

Oh. My. Gosh. You poor thing.

Melisa with one S said...

Shoot, my first comment failed. I'll try again...

I was following your F-ity F, F-ing tweets on Saturday night; I'm so sorry this happened!

I have to admit that I had a good chuckle over the fact that your little one threw toys in the pool.

I'm keeping fingers crossed that your insurance company makes things easy for you!

xoxo

Karen said...

What a mess - I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. Hopefully the insurance pulls through and gets it cleaned up quickly.

MIT Mommy said...

Looks like it barely missed your computer - although I know you generally use the laptop now anyway. Ugh!

MIT Mommy said...

Looks like it barely missed your computer - although I know you generally use the laptop now anyway. Ugh!

Jessica said...

Oh dear! If you need a dry haven..I can leave the door open and you are always welcome!

Valerie(momof3crazykids) said...

I'm with Angie, though you know from the tweets Sat.
Hope the insur. company moves fast with this. What a pain in the butt.

Tracey said...

Oh Honey!! I'm so sorry!!! I would have been freaking out and sobbing...Hope the insurance covers it and that you can redo it even lovelier than it was before.

Krystyn said...

Oh no! I sure hope the insurance company moves quickly. Classy manor must be repaired!

Kel said...

Oh wow...sorry to hear you had a rough weekend, but hopefully it will get fixed soon!
~K

Tiaras & Tantrums said...

I saw this yesterday on Twitter - in the words of Oswald & Henry "What A Mess"

Good Luck!

Domestic Extraordinaire said...

Oh no! I hope that everything gets fixed & quickly! Thankfully no leaking here-at least for now-it all isn't melted yet!

Kelly said...

I feel your pain....a couple of weeks ago our toilet in the main floor bathroom kept running and ran over, flooding the bathroom and ran down into the basement and ruined the spare bedroom, hallway, storage room. It was awful, I was home alone and heard running water and about died when I ran in the bathroom and splashed through an inch of water. I was running into the garage to get the shop-vac when hubby pulled in. It's all fixed and taken care of now but it was NOT fun. And yours sounds worse since it came through the roof. I hope you can get the insurance company on it right away and get that fixed. What a mess!

Halftime Lessons said...

LMAO I loved your sad story, and feel terrible for you all at once!!

Thanks SO much for helping me keep the focus on St Baldrick's...I am so excited to be shaving my head again for this amazing organization...but we need donations to keep the research plentiful! Wont it be an amazing day when we dont have to think about kids and their families having to go through this?

Thanks ohMommy!!

Jay

Blessings From Above said...

OMG!!! I don't even know what to say. I have never saw a leak that bad. I'm so sorry for your troubles.

((HUGGS))

Michele said...

Oh my goodness! I pray it gets fixed in a hurry. You are so right yuck!I am glad you guys are all ok.

Legallyblondemel said...

Um, wow. A deluge like that would have me hitting the vodka sodas and naughty words immediately, and I don't have any little ones to worry about yet.

Stephanie said...

What a bummer! Hopefully that insurance company will fix you right up!

3 Peanuts said...

Oh dear....but maybe you'll get a sazzy remodel? I am so sorry.

Kim

Christy said...

What a nightmare! So glad you made it home when you did - that happened to our neighbors when they were on vacation...had to take their house down to the studs all over.

Katie said...

YIKES!!! Hope it all works out quickly!

Jeffry and Morgan said...

OH my gosh! I can't believe how much it was pouring!! The video was great.

Beyond A Mommy said...

Oh man, that's horrible!! I love that you still turned it into a rhyme complete with pictures though :) Cute. Hope it all gets fixed up soon!

Ali said...

i worried yesterday for all of us too. we had strangely above freezing weather and snow was melting ALL OVER THE DAMN PLACE. i was sure someone was going to get flooded. i just didn't know it would be in ohio ;)

Danielle (Life with the Hewitt Family) said...

Oh my goodness! What a crazy day for you! We had a leak in our roof once when the snow was melting...but nothing near that...you poor thing!

Kalle said...

Oh Wow. I hope the assesment goes well today. Glad to hear you still have 3/4 of your roof and a good glass of wine near by.

Good luck with the renos

Amy @ Milk Breath and Margaritas said...

Oh My Got! That is simply awful! What a pain in the arse.

Off to check our your hairy legs.

Tee aka The Diva's Thoughts said...

Oh my goodness! You poor things. What a huge inconvenience.

Kate Coveny Hood said...

Okay - so I can take a two second break from my elation at actually winning something for once to feel really awful about home catastrophe! Break over - I'm back to me. Yeah me! Seriously though - I AM really sorry....

Anglophile Football Fanatic said...

Aren't you grateful for insurance, though? I hope your deductable isn't too high?? (Says the daughter, niece, & sister of insurance agents)

April said...

Holy. CRAP! That sucks! What a mess!!

Every Day Goddess said...

That sucks!! Sorry, hope the insurance thing goes very smoothly for you!!

Elaine A. said...

You had every right to have a potty mouth that night! OY!!

My handsome husband was standing right there with me when a tree fell on our house 3.5 yrs ago. Thank Goodness! So glad yours came right home and that you thought of that baby pool! Good call!

Momo Fali said...

What a mess! Our roof has been leaking too and we're waiting for our agent to come out. It's not nearly as bad as yours. Lucky, no carpet had to come up! Though, when our basement flooded a few years ago, we had to tear out the carpet AND throw away all the furniture. Water damage sucks! Good luck!€

the mama bird diaries said...

Despite your major leak and flood, I am so happy that you are still gorgeous and your hubby is still handsome.

Good luck with the cleanup.

Domestic Goddess (In Training) said...

OH poor Mommy! At least your stiletto collection survived! Yay for the roof holding over your closet!

PunkyBean said...

That's a Classy Crisis! Good luck with the ol' insurance misers!

Half Gaelic, Half Garlic! said...

Glad that you were able to find humor in this....WOW...I would have been hysterical!

Courtney said...

Yikes! How nice of handsome husband to come and save the day for you.

Bethany said...

Oh, man! That stinks!!!

amanda said...

that sucks. but i love the video. bow chica wow wow...that made me giggle. lol. :0)

LceeL said...

Thank goodness and the Goddess that it wasn't one of the lovely children having forgotten to turn off a faucet and letting water run all over hell and creation and earning themselves eternal grounding. Which could happen because your sexy new bathroom sink which costs a fortune doesn't have an overflow, which gives it that sexy, uninterrupted look that women love so well. I'm just sayin'.

The 5 Bickies said...

What a mess! Can't say I would be happy to come home to that downpour. I hope the insurance company made it a happy ending today!

Becca said...

Oh my goodness! That is terrible! I hope the insurance company has some good news for ya! Best wishes!

Elisa said...

Ugh. I just went through something very similar, and I feel for you.

On a side note, you have a lovely voice! And I'm about to send you a friend request on Facebook :-)

Betty said...

Oh my - I am so very sorry this happen to you and your family - hope your insurance company is fast in helping with fixing the damage. You are a better egg then me – I would still be crying!

Designher Momma said...

love it! delicatly written, yet I can hear the cursing in your voice. (as it should be there)

Wendi said...

I.can.not.imagine.

Get on that plane to Mexico...fast!

Blogilicious said...

OH MY! You definitely had a reason to use potty language. Crossing my fingers for you and your beautiful crown moulding.

LaskiGal said...

If there is ever a time to let the expletives fly, I'm pretty sure this was it . . .

Lisa @ Take90West said...

I watched the video over the weekend on Twitter and I think you sounded perfectly acceptable given the situation. I would have FLIPPED OUT. I cannot believe that happened from melting snow!

(And the ceiling was gorgeous!)

So Not Mom-a-licious said...

That sucks so bad! If I weren't getting ready to send off my husband this week, I would invite you out to get away from anythng snow related!

MsMommy said...

Oh, no! And I thought OUR fiasco was bad! We had a plumbing issue in the powder room downstairs and had to rip out one wall of my GORGEOUS, faux-painted masterpiece (that friends say looks like a bathroom in a fancy hotel - sigh). A plumber friend had fixed it at 7 p.m., sending me to work with relief that I and my four children wouldn't have to bathe at the neighbors' again. Well... the water pressure has been gone for 16 hours, so when the flow was restored, the pressure busted the toilet valve in our upstairs master bath while we worked night shift, sending a steady stream of water below to the living room. Onto my tobacco-leather chaise and new wood floors. And that, my friends, is why God created Xanax.

Girl, hope sanity (and beautiful ceiling moulding) is restored soon!

Indy said...

Awful. Just awful!

Marcy - The Glamorous Life! said...

Brown chicken brown cow...

(OR bow chicka bow bow)...

You are so glamorous. Even roof floods get you in the mood.

What a good wife.

;)

Lynette3boys said...

I love how you still have your sense of humor throughout this whole crazy ordeal. Wow. I hope you can get this repaired quickly and without much chaos, then again that word seems to go well with you, in a good way. Good luck!

Jill said...

Oh, oh, oh... that is so horrible!! Unbelievable!!

Love the photo documentary. Um yeah is about all I can say too.

Hope it gets fixed soon...

Jennifer said...

Bless you heart! I am just catching up! I am glad they are already working on it for you! You'll be standing on the bathroom counter again in no time!

Colleen - Mommy Always Wins said...

Oh holy crap. Utterly horrible!

I think I would have cried while I was yelling obscenities. :-(

Hope you can get it fixed before its 20F again!

Jaina said...

What a nightmare! At least you had the kiddie pool to put underneath it...and a handsome husband to come home to the rescue. Hope it gets fixed soon!

Sarah said...

Oh my goodness......if I had videoed that, there would have been a long run on sentence of profanity as commentary. How on earth did you do that so calmly?

 

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