Tuesday, April 07, 2009

At least they have clean hands and I have my bon-bons. I rock at motherhood!

"What the heck happened in Lola's room?" The husband shouted down from the upstairs, minutes after arriving home from filling cavities all day long.

"What do you mean?"

"Have you seen her room? It's looks like a bomb went off."

I entered Lola's room and indeed a pink bomb exploded sometime that afternoon. Barbies were spewed about, clothes thrown over lamp shades, and fish flakes scattered on the carpet.

"Oh." I said. Calmly.

"Were you home with them today?"

"Yes. All day long." I admitted "I might have closed my eyes for ten minutes."

I thought back on my day. Stayed up way too late editing photos the night before. Slept for five hours. Workout at 6, breakfast, shower, read The Quiet Cricket to a class full of kindergartners at 9, ballet at 11, and as I continued to scroll through the rest of my day I realized that I had not one minute to sit down and breath... and then I realized .... Oh.

"Yeah. I feel asleep for a few minutes." I whispered. "I swear. It couldn't have been more then 10 minutes."

"Really? What if I had fallen asleep while watching three kids, you would have gone ballistic on me."

"True. But. I'm so tired."

I looked into my husband's blue eyes and continued, "I have been doing this motherhood thing for over seven years now. It's now the loooooongest job I have ever held onto." I marked my words carefully. "Seven years on the job with no more then five days off to myself. No daily lunch break. Or, for the love of Gawd, not even a lonely car ride to work." I sighed. "I have a tough boss." I winked hoping he would sense my underlying charisma. "I am exhausted."

*insert silence* A very rare moment.

"I love them, you know that. But I am never away from them. It's really exhausting." I continued, grateful for staying at home but just really tired.

"Heh. This was a full bottle of kid's hand soap...." He shook the nearly empty plastic bottle in the air and started to wipe the excess blue foam off of the bathroom counter top. "Who used this hand soap?"

Three kids raised their squeaky clean hands.

"They are totally fine. No one has ever died from excessive use of hand soap. Look....." We both turned to look at our most perfect offspring playing with the kitten on top of Lola's bed overlooking the area where the bomb exploded. "At least there are no crickets running loose tonight. Will you buy me some bon-bons tomorrow?" I said sarcastically. I totally rock the stay-at-home-mommy gig. I should be promoted to something because my three kids have really clean hands.

56classy comments:

Katie said...

I hear ya, I've been known to doze while watching The Diamond Castle ~My Miss Em doesn't like that too much! ;)

Nap Warden said...

Right now...my entire house looks like a bomb went off. It's exhausting I tell ya.

At least our blogs look good;)

Valerie(momof3crazykids) said...

Totally sounds like something I would do! lol I always fall asleep & the kids run wild!

Amy @ Milk Breath and Margaritas said...

Oh bless your heart. I've dozed on the sofa a few times myself in the last 6 years. It happens.

Jessica said...

Come on OHdaddy! Can't you let a 10 minute nap slip just this once?! :)

PixieDust said...

Men really just don't get it, do they... :)

DysFUNctional Mom said...

I am exhausted just reading your post. I tried so hard to sleep today (after working all night!!) and my youngest darling daughter felt the need to wake me up 1000 times!

Steph said...

Your husbands comment that you would have gone ballistic on him made me smile because I so would have if it would have been my husband that fell alseep on duty, which by the way he has several times.

Tracey - Just Another Mommy Blog said...

Hey I wouldn't need to nap to have them destroy their room. I can take a picture of a "normal" day, if that'd make you feel better?

Lisa@verybusymomwith4 said...

I just walked past our playroom--the kids played 'school' last night. I am thinking if any school like the one they created, it would be shut down--you can't even see the floor.
And I was not even sleeping yesterday.....

Krystyn said...

My daughter's room typically looks like a bomb went off after her "nap." Ehhh..she has to live in it, right?

Rachel said...

You put it so perfectly! I try to tell dh the same thing sometimes when explaining why I need some time to myself, but they really just don't get it.

You deserve that nap.

Rachel

Megryansmom said...

I too laughed at your hubbies comment about going ballistic on him, you know you would have. I really hope OHBabcia doesn't read your post, she'll have her 2 cents to add too and I think she may me siding with OhDaddy. LOL

Have a great Tuesday!

Indy said...

Love it. Love it. Love it.

Kelly said...

Just reading about your day wore me out. I think we've all been guilty of those quickie naps or even just stealing a few minutes. At least the mess wasn't too bad, well worth the 10 minutes sleep!!!

A Crafty Mom said...

My husband was the EXACT same way until he lost his job in January and stayed home with us for two months. Now he TOTALLY gets it :) No more questions about what I did all day, he just gives me a massage, takes the kids off my hands when he gets home from work (he got a new job - yay!), and tells me dinner is perfect every single night.

p.s. and I have totally done the doze off thing when the baby naps . . . I'll put the 3 and 5 year olds in front of a movie and wake up to some sort of destruction in their bedroom ;)

Lisa said...

so true....so true! I've been bribing Julia with her life lately to just stay in her room & not destroy anything for an hour during the afternoon so I can catch a little cat nap. You deserve your 10 minutes and more (Plus - you're hot rocking your size 4 dress - I'm just big and round :)

Kel said...

haha - you totally crack me up! :) Yes, this motherhood gig is by far the toughest job I've ever had and yes, it too just surpassed as the longest job I've held onto! Where does the time go??
~K

Stephanie said...

I've done this. The computer is my addiction. I'll get on here and forget I need to check on them sometimes. Found Chicken eating my chapstick AGAIN (the fourth time). After the first 3 times, I moved it from the nightstand to the bathroom drawer. Found him in my bathroom, door closed and mouth full yesterday. UGH! Where's those bon bons?

Stephanie said...
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Tara R. said...

I saw a sign the other day, something like: "no one notices what I do, until I'm not there to do it.' A mom's work is never done, and she never gets a raise or promotion (unless you considered MIL and grandma promotions *wink*). A little nap now and then is understandable.

Musings of a Housewife said...

Snort. Hilarious. And I can SO TOTALLY RELATE. OMG. :-)

Elisa said...

You should totally get bon bons! Are you kidding? Please, a pink bomb in one room is nothing. What about a multicolored bomb in each and every room? And I *still* get my bon bons. Which I guess explains the size of my butt ;-)

Crystal D said...

Interesting, I have that same bomb in my upstairs playroom and it goes off at least once a week. I send them up there while I cook dinner and next thing I know Jim is walking in the door, walking up the step to see the kids, and WHAT!?!? BOMB.
It really isn't our fault that they just happen to show up at the end of the day when things start going downhill. Right?
Sometimes when I can't keep my eyes open I'll make Amelia cuddle on the couch with me, turn on Charlie and Lola and close my eyes. The baby is in her pack and play right beside us and I can feel the weight of Amelia. She wakes me up about every 30 seconds, but those 30 second power naps are golden.

Mishelle Lane said...

I fell asleep once and woke up covered in green Sharpie.

I swear.

This is mild compared to that time.

Tiaras and Tantrums said...

hee hee - my husband always threatens the children that he will toss their toys in the trash bin! The soap issue we have, BUT baby girl takes the soap to whatever room she is playing in and fills up her little toys/containers with soap and washes all her ponies and pet shops. It is hard to get angry when she lays a towel down first! too cute!

sarah said...

lol you owe me new stuffed mushrooms. i just spit that across the room as the laughter poured out. I wish i had thought that witty response to my husband!

Flea said...

:D You rock the mommy world. I like the way you think. Toss nine years of home schooling in there and you understand why I LOVE having my kids in school.

Kelly said...

I fall asleep on my kids all the time. Usually holding the baby (big brut baby, 9.5 months). My three year old will tap me on the shoulder and say, "Wake up Mommy" or "MOMMY! You are sleeping!" My favorite though is, "No sleeping Mommy! It's not nap time yet!"

It's always nap time for me!

Renny said...

It happens, you deserve a nap, and bon bons! Just do what my mom did and wait ten more years before you have kids, then the older ones can watch them while you sleep! At least, until we move off to college... but now my baby sister is a TEENAGER so that is a whole new world of worries, which, I guess, having gone through it four times previous, my mom can handle. Just ask your husband how he would feel if he had to fill cavities 24/7!

LceeL said...

If you ask me (and of course you didn't, so I have to just voluntarily put my two cents in here) OHDaddy's shorts are too tight and he needs to loosen up a bit.

Man, if I talked to SWMBO like that ... *shudder* .... I get goosepimples just thinking about it.

amanda said...

totally enjoyed this post. my husband falls alseep more than i do on the job. it's quite funny actually, he's admitted to me that 'they wake me up if they need me'. lol. i've dozed too...i just have kept it a secret better than he does!! :0)

Marinka said...

If they don't want houses to look like a bomb went off, pink or otherwise, they should provide us with full time help. Including a bartender.

Ellyn said...

I am right there with you.

Jennifer, Playgroups Are No Place For Children said...

I'm pretty sure my husband is convinced that I do nothing but eat bon-bons, play around on the Internet all day, and watch Oprah. Sheesh, I don't even really like Oprah.

Nan Patience said...

note to self: babysitter needed the night of and for days after a fun night out because as we all know, once the party girl is let out of the bottle, getting her back in is no small feat.

Chandra said...

It's called a 'power nap' and it's a mother's best friend I'm hear to tell you!

3 Peanuts said...

Oh Mommy~ I HEAR you so loud and clear. I feel THE SAME way! On the job for almost 12 years with hardly a day off and I am exhausted. next year all 3 will be at school (YIPEE)... well 3 kids...three different schools and Kate only goes til 11:30 but still a little break.

YOU seem to be a GREAt Mom!

Kim

Allison Says said...

Haha. Oh, I so feel you on this. Bombs regularly go off in my house and I only have one, singular, child. If I were a parent of three? I can't even imagine...you are amazing!

I am Barking Mad said...

So far Imp hasn't discovered the foamy pink soap in her loo, other than when she washes her hands, and she hasn't once gotten out of her new big girl bed and gotten into anything whilst i sleep in the occasional once-in-a-blue-moon-Sunday...OK, now that I've said that, I'm sure I'm going to wake up one morning to utter chaos.

With us it's stickers. They are everywhere. It's like she attracts them to her. I think I need to surrender. The stickers are winning.

At this point I think uber-clean hands are preferable. Because I'm having granite counters installed in the next few weeks and the first sticker I find stuck to my counter tops....Oiy!

Auds at Barking Mad

Beth said...

It really is the no days off, no leaving, no escaping even just to grab a coffee part that gets to you after awhile. Plus, I think April is the hardest month of all. So cold and rainy.

And my daughters room almost always looks like a bomb went off by the end of the day, with or without a nap.

Kari said...
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Kari said...

I would have never been able to put it so eloquently. Next time I have a situation such as yours...which will be soon, I am sure... ;) I am going to tell him to hold on a moment, run to the computer and look up what you said. Pretty much word for word..except for the 7 years thing. Bravo, hun. Not only just for that, but for being a Stay at home mom for 7 years. I hope I am as sane as you are.

Ed said...

Sometimes you just need ten minutes. You're lucky--at least your kids wash their hands!

MIT Mommy said...

Sorry, I can't think of anything to say that isn't totally rediculous. LOL

Vikki said...

That hand soap is a dangerous thing. I think the green foamy soap has found its way into three rooms of my house--all over!!

the mama bird diaries said...

Oh yes, we've all fallen asleep for a few minutes. These children are amazing, beautiful, tiring creatures.

Jill said...

Falling asleep on the job, eh? I think I resemble that statement... and MAY have done it myself on Sunday for a few more than 10 minutes. As a "single" mom for another 5 weeks, I don't get a minute to myself. :)

Karen MEG said...

It's crazy when the day is broken up with all the running around. You are so right, I miss the lunch breaks, coffee breaks...adult time.

My husband, though, does get so excited when he sees our bed made :). Maybe I should do that more often LOL!

Daddy Rogue said...

My wife's just been the head coach of Team Awesome for a year and a half now, but she's going through some similar things.

We try to make sure that on my days off, she gets to do something alone for at least an hour or two. Other than that, use the grandparents for a little mom and dad "out of the house" time and just count down the days until they all move away to college and you can run naked through the house again.

anya said...

I have been there too. I must remember to hide the playdough next time I fall asleep.

Debbie said...

You can certainly rock the stay-at-home mom thing and still have a little soap spill now and then:)

Alexia said...

Oh my - my house looks like that all the time *and I'm not napping when it happens either* LOL

Kristen@nosmallthing said...

Um. Oh.my.goodness. I can relate to this on every single level. EVERY.single.level.

Good for you squeezing in a little napper.

Now, go on and eat some bonbons. You've earned it.

Camille said...

I have to chime in to the "right now my entire house looks like a bomb went off" quote. It's impossible to have it ALL up and running at the same time! It sounds like you are doing a great job!

Shani

Megan said...

mamabirddiaries referred me to this blog. You are a riot!

 

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