Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Is there something I can prescribe to stunt his growth?

When he took his first real steps as a toddler, my heart skipped a beat thinking about all the times he would stumble and fall.

When he went to preschool for the very first time, I bit my finger nails until they bled wondering how he would survive 2 hours without me.

When he was fully submerged underwater in the chlorine infested pool during swim lessons, I was ready to jump in fully clothed, pull him up and offer him air.

When he peddled away from my husband alone without training wheels, I held my breath until I saw him gain momentum and independently ride off.

When he stepped onto the school bus headed for kindergarten, I rocked myself in the fetal position while crying online.

This past weekend, when my firstborn magically grew one inch in one month and the lifeguards deemed him tall enough to ride the adult slide at the pool, I saw the fear in his eyes as his stiff legs awkwardly carried him up the steps. As always, I smiled to show him it was okay and he was safe. But inside I was a disheveled mess "What if he flips around? What if he drowns in front of my eyes? What if my panic attack causes me to have a stroke and I actually drown in front of my own three kids? I didn't even do a good job at shaving, what would the paramedics think?"

He came down the slide SMILING to the sound of my very loud and quite shameless cheers that bounced off the walls. And then, after a quick kiss on the cheek and a huge high five, he joyfully skipped up the stairs for a total of 57 times down the slide in 2 hours.


Photo courtesy of BlackBerry hidden by my towel (pool privacy law against taking photos).


My little guy is growing up. I, of course, am completely not ready for any of it. What's next? Sleep overs? Algebra exams? Driving? Prom? OMG, I think I'll need a prescription for Xanax in a couple of years. Or maybe now. Yes, now.

54classy comments:

DysFUNctional Mom said...

Driving is next. I'm sorry to tell you.

Kelley said...

to put it nicely, next is 'private time'

Bwaaaaaaaaa haaaaaaaaaa haaaaaaaaaaaaa!

I laugh cause it is about to happen to me and all my friends with older boys point and laugh at me.

Lynette3boys said...

I'm right there with you. At least they're paving the way for their siblings and we only have to go through the initial shock the first time. The next two should be a lot smoother sailing.

And why wouldn't you be able to take pictures publicly at the pool? I don't get that.

Jessica said...

Our little girl just grew an inch in a month. It was terrible! Overnight her clothes didn't fit and she became almost too big for me to pick up and carry. It's terrible and sad.

Naomi said...

Kelley - our 8th graders' showers are SOOO long in the mornings!!!


I think you can safely venture to the land of sleepovers now. Our 5 year old has been doing them for about a year (and they truly are heaven .... whether you are hosting or they are sleeping away).

Indy said...

I can't believe he can do down that slide. Don't tell Ry!

Flea said...

What fun! Good for you both! Sleep overs are next. And they ROCK.

Megryansmom said...

Never let him go away to college. It always happens, they go away, they meet someone, they get married and before you know it, short people will be calling YOU Babcia!

Smart A$$ Mom said...

whaddya mean you don't carry xanax in a classy trendy silver bag concealed for makeup? I thought everyone did.

LceeL said...

Oh yes. Next come the 'questions'. Pointed questions. About EVERYTHING. Things SWMBO used to tell our boys to "go ask your father". And I would stand there with an EVIL grin on my face and then she'd say, "Nevermind."

Kel said...

awe...how sweet...so quickly they grow up. Yes, I think I need a zanex too, now that you mention it! :)
~K

Kelly said...

I know how you feel. We are going to Disneyworld this summer and when we looked at the height requirements, my two oldest boys are tall enough to ride everything. What?!! I know my oldest is a wild one, he will want to try the roller coasters and every other scary ride. It will be interesting.

Lisa said...

oh....how I hear you! they grow up much too fast. My sweet Julia turns 5 - a whole darn hand - one week from today....sigh....

Krystyn said...

Drugs sound like a good idea...for you, not him!

They grow up WAYYYY too fast!

Don Mills Diva said...

I thought this post was scary until I read Kelley's comment - there will be NO private time until my son is married for at least a year.

Amy @ Milk Breath and Margaritas said...

Yes. Now.

It's incredible how fast it happens. And there are sudden bursts - they get taller overnight or their faces turn a little older and less little boy/girl. (sniffles)

My post scheduled for tomorrow is about this exact thing with my son! It must be going around this week!

Rhea said...

Awww!! Being big enough to go down the big slide is a HUGE deal. What a big boy!

I hear ya. Xanax.

2 Little Irish Boys said...

It is amazing the things they can do that make it seem like they are growing right before your eyes. It was a super little thing (or big thing) for me like chewing gum-check out my post on it from the first of the month. I swear when he started chewing that gum he grew right before my eyes!!

I am P said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
I am P said...

If you find something to stunt his growth, please let me in on it!! It is so bitter sweet as they grow. Deep down, i really hate that my babies are getting sooo big...

Kari said...

I know my oldest is only 2, but it has gone by way to fast! I have no idea how I am going to handle all those milestones! I cried when she walked, when she learned her alphabet, when she switched to a toddler bed. I don't even want to think about what is ahead!
I think you are handling it well.
But, drugs maybe in order soon. HA!I only say that because I care.
he-he.

Pamela Kramer said...

Yep, it goes really fast.

Tara R. said...

So exciting! Yep, my baby boy will be getting his permanent driver's license in a couple months. And I have to look up to stare him in the eyes. It goes by so very fast. My firstborn, my darling daughter, grows out of her teens soon, turning 20 in August. Happened overnight.

Tee aka The Diva's Thoughts said...

Aaaahhhhhhh...They do grow up so darn fast don't they?

Stephanie said...

LOL! You'll get through it. The biggest problem will be when your Fifi and my Chicken get to this stage. Then we'll know it's over. THEN we'll get the Xanex (and I'll be right there with you, in the fetal position!)

Jaina said...

That slide looks awesome! I've tried to convince my little brothers that they're still 3, but they just don't seem to think that's a very good idea. They grow up WAY too fast.

Jeni said...

Even though with my son, it's been over 35 years of time passed and he's now 6 ft 3 inches tall (with not near enough meat on that rack of bones either!) I still ask myself where on earth did that time go and how quickly it flew by me too.

Renny said...

Don't worry OHMommy. Each time you'll hold your breath until you see him succeed, and when he doesn't you'll help him pick himself back up and see him become stronger for it. And then, when he is 23 and living on his own there will be moments when he thinks, "I want my mom," but he'll remember everything you've done for him and he'll find the strength to overcome and when he calls home he'll only tell you about his success and you'll tell him you're so proud of him and life will be good. (I do not speak from the mom's experience, or the dad's, but I do speak from the 23 year old's experience. There are several times when I just think, "I want my dad," but I know what he'd do if he were here and sometimes, just that knowing makes everything better.)You can survive!

Managed Chaos said...

Oh, there's some many new things on the horizons for your little man. Sports teams. Sleepovers. Texting. Puberty. Girls. And of course, their desire to pull away from their parents (at least in public).

My little man is nearly 11 (as I write this I realize that it's only 5 yrs until he's driving. YIKES!) Perhaps I'll need some of your Xanax afterall ;o)

The Daily Stroll said...

What a big boy!! I'm sure he was very excited to be going down the "big" slide!!!

I am trying to find something to stunt Jonah's growth as well! Surely there is something online that we can purchase! :) I'm not sure if it was while I was in the hospital on bedrest or what but suddenly my toddler son turned into a little boy overnight! Full of questions, imagination and personality! And I just want to keep him this age forever! I love it!

Let me know if you find something that will work!! ;)

Elaine A. said...

I up for the Kindergarten milestone in the Fall and you know... I don't care how ready he is. I AM NOT!!!

Nice job on the pic! ; )

Chandra said...

OMG the first day of kindergarten was sooo incredibly hard. I did okay until about 10am upon which I realized that is his normal snack time...who would feed him, my lord he might dye of starvation before lunch! Then this year starting first grade, I switched him to another school in our district...he didn't know anybody and all I could think about was him going to lunch and not having anyone to talk to.
:::hmmm, why does it always evolve around food for me?:::

Whey can't we keep them little forever? If there was a drug I want to know about it too!

Domestic Goddess (In Training) said...

Oh dear god... this post solidified the fact that I am not at all ready for any of those things. My boy goes to preschool in the fall and I know I will miss him so much more than he will miss me. For two hours. Twice a week. I'm pathetic.

McMommy said...

Holy moly....your pool is INDOORS!!!! The slide and everything!!!

So I take it no one wears sunglasses at the pool? Very smart. No raccoon-eye sunglass tans.

Kat said...

We must be twins. I totally do that. The whole worry, worry, worry thing on the inside while cheering them on (loudly and enthusiastically) on the outside.

Why???? Why do they have to grow up SO FAST????

amanda said...

i love that you hid your phone!! so funny!!

designHER Momma said...

it all goes too fast that's for sure. Sometimes I just pray for a little independence for my girls - then when they get it, I want them to be babies again!

Blessings From Above said...

They really do grow up too quickly. If you find a magic pill to slow it all down, PLEASE let me know!

Jennifer, Playgroups Are No Place For Children said...

Kelley's comment made me giggle, nervously. ("private time.") Sigh.

Anyhoo, we're going to a waterpark in a few weeks and I'm already fretting about my kids going down the wee, tiny kiddie slides. That slide your son went down would give me heart failure.

mpotter said...

wow. how terribly exciting. and terrible.
my little bean is 9 months old and i'm already knee-deep in the "where in the world has the time gone" stages......

and my friend JUST gave me this video to watch that sums it all up quite nicely:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z6JHXHWZLpU

my how time flies.
good luck!

Tracey - Just Another Mommy Blog said...

We are so awful. We put Justin on a water slide when he was about 2... Yes. 2.

Glad he was brave and you hid your fear for him.

Heather @ Domestic Extraordinaire said...

I totally understand what you are going through. Last weekend when Giggles' ATM card came and then her bank statement a few days later for said account. I thought I was going to hyperventilate. She is counting down the days until she drives. (And its not that many!!)

just jamie said...

Brave boy on that giant slide. And oh, not driving and dating. Nooooo!

Every Day Goddess said...

Time goes by so quickly!! So exciting to be able to do the big slide!

Secret Mom Thoughts said...

I hate how fast they are growing up.

Rachel said...

I am 2 weeks away from registering Princess for Kinder. May I call you and wail? Wow.

You put this wonderfully.
I love reading you because you are able to put words to our heart's emotions in an eloquent and real way.

Thank you

Heather said...

Awwww! Congratulations to him! That's big! Big hugs to you-- it's got to be nerve wrecking! Soon he'll be telling you that as the oldest he opened all the doors for his siblings and it's not fair that they get to do what he didn't get to....Can you tell I'm the oldest too? HAH!

Half Gaelic, Half Garlic! said...

Oh yeah...you better get on that script for Xanax!! Glad you got the picture.....you are a true mamarazzi!!

Lisa

the planet of janet said...

i recommend heavy drinking and strong drugs. it's the only way.

Im2Sexy4MyVan said...

So just when you rock at the preschool mom gig, they grow up and are elem students.

It is so difficult to find my way. I feel like a new mom again.

Where is the rule book that walks us thru these transitions? Oh ya, I think I am reading it now.

MommyTime said...

Oh, I have this coming so soon. At our pool, you have to be able to swim across unassisted before you're allowed on the slide (which is good because he's already as tall as a lot of seven year olds, so this is at least keeping him off the slide for a little while). Still, I know it's coming. I keep threatening to put bricks on his head, but I don't actually think that will keep him from growing up. :)

Anti-Supermom said...

If you find that prescription, let me know. My cure will be having a third child (someday).

:)

anymommy said...

Ow, my heart. An awesome post - and 57 times, I bet he slept well.

Jean said...

If you find a prescribe that works, let me know!! I am right there with you.... :-)

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