Tuesday, May 05, 2009

The most, not-so confusing, confusing guide to the most perfect Mother's Day Gift

Mother's Day...

It's the one day where my handsome husband quietly ushers the manicured children downstairs and I sleep in. It's the one day that I am lovingly served perfectly scrambled eggs, in bed, on a silver platter. It's the one day that I am the last one downstairs into a spotless kitchen and my family, in matching Lilly Pulitzer gear, races to hug me shouting, "Happy Mother's day dearest Mama!" It's the one day a year where I am overwhelmed with meticulously wrapped presents.

. . . excuse me?

I'm so sorry where are my manners? Lying out loud isn't very classy, no?

I might not be able to sleep in, or get breakfast in bed, or walk into a spotless kitchen, or have matching Lilly wear for the entire family but after nine years of marriage my husband gives into my whines still takes me out to brunch and presents me with a gift. This year, I thought it would be super sweet of me to make a list of things I don't necessarily need but want or not want at all. In the spirit of being a confusing woman, on the one official day of celebrating mothers, in the world where entire months are dedicated to "mathematics awareness" which was in April. Heh. Without further ado, I present to you a list of mother's day gifts:


1. Gift Card
Nothing says "I Love You" more then a gift card to a store. "I am too lazy to shop for you and figure out what you want and so here you go... go forth and shop with three kids in tow" Truly, it's priceless, my dear. You will leave me speechless with a gift card, unless it comes with a guaranteed babysitter and a promised trip to Fifth Avenue.



2. Appliances
My aunt Anna still talks about that one Mother's Day in the 1990s when she got a vacuum cleaner. Seriously, sometimes history shouldn't repeat itself. As much as we need a new panini maker I don't think this would be the best of times. Appliances should be filed under household necessities.


3. Anything to remind Mom of weight
I have been feverishly working out since September and am pursing the most perfect swimsuit for lazy days at the pool this summer. However, this is not a time to purchase a membership to the gym, or a fancy digital scale I have been drooling over, or even a swimsuit to your liking that you have been drooling over. Nope. Not the right time.




3. Anything to remind Mom of hygiene
I know there are some days you come home and wonder, "Geesh, woman. Have you showered?" And perhaps the most perfect gift would be to invest in my SAHM hygiene as you massage my rough heels. As much as I really need a functional callus remover to make my skin silky smooth, this too should be labeled under household appliances. More so. A "Bath & Body" gift card is your ticket to sleeping on the couch.



4. Sleepwear
Your idea of sleepwear and my idea of sleepwear do not co-exist. And neither do the childrens'. For as long as we are alive do not attempt to take the kids shopping and come home with flannel pajamas that they deem comfy as, with the words "We love you mom" written all over them. Or the lack of flannel you deem as comfy as. Leave it to me.



5. Disney
Dear Gawd don't take the girls shopping with you. Tinkerbell belongs on little girls. Thatisall.


6. Key to your heart
Yes. It sounds perfect and it is perfect. A most gorgeous, to die for, enough to make me cry with happiness heart shaped key pendant in sterling silver wrapped in a delicious robin's blue box topped with a meticulous white bow. Why do you think my last post was entitled "Expecting a new addition" and featured the most perfect shade of robin's blue?

*wink* *wink* I am not so hard to figure out, after all. xoxo

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Having trouble finding a Mother's Day gift? Check out my giveaway here. And, in the spirit of mothers, vote for my favorite momversations here.

47classy comments:

rockanddrool said...

i want that foot sander...er...pedicure thingy!
and a morning of sleeping in. THAT would be a really nice mothers day gift.
xoxo
http://www.rockanddrool.com

Amy said...

Excellent list of "don't"s!

Tiffany's is never fail.

Tara R. said...

Can I borrow this list? Every year on Mother's Day, I ask for a day off.

Jessica said...

Clever.

3 Peanuts said...

I must admit...I DO get totally spoiled on Mother's Day! I usually get to sleep in and I am served a light breakfast /coffee in bed. We do go out to a nice brunch... Ah.. I LOVE Mother's DAy!!!

Loukia said...

I'm laughing here - great 'what not to buy mom' list! Simply put - if it's in a blue box with a white ribbon, you just cannot go wrong! I think I have trained my hubby well because blue boxes are seen frequently at my place on special occassions! :) I hope you get your beautiful blue box with key necklace on Mother's Day - you deserve it!

Lisa@verybusymomwith4 said...

I am still trying to wrap my brain around the fact Mother's Day is on Sunday. Wasn't Easter yesterday and Christmas last week? Time is flying.....

Lisa said...

hee hee hee! I love it!!!

here's hoping he gets the hint ;)

The White House said...

For sure! I am forwarding this on to my husband. For my first Mother's Day as a mommy of a 7 month old, he didn't get me anything, didn't even say "happy Mother's day." When I sulked all day, he said, "I'm sorry, you're not my mother." He learned his lesson. Every Mother's day since has been sweet.

Ed said...

Oh, Lord I hope I can find those return receipts!

Crystal D said...

LOL I hope you get your blue box. I am hoping for a Photoshop box. :)

Elaine A. said...

I gave my husband three VERY specific ideas and you can bet it wasn't any of these! ; )

Funny list friend!

2 Little Irish Boys said...

We are on the same wave-length. I don't even have to click on the link to know what very cute necklace you are talking about !!

Formerly Gracie said...

My last two mothers' days, my dad has taken me out to dinner as a thank you for giving him a grandSON and a son-in-law.

For the record, he's just as excited about his granddaughter, but after being surrounded by girls for so long (three daughters, my mom, and my grandmother), the extra testosterone was very much welcomed.

Jill said...

I'm totally getting what I want this mother's day... my husband here with us - and the ability to let him take over w/ absolutely no worries about how he does it.

And if he brings me a little treat, that wouldn't be all that bad either. :)

Indy said...

I really think that Disney sweatshirt would look lovely on you.

Jessica said...

My Mother's Day will consist of driving 4 hours back home after sober driving for my cousin's bachelorette party the night before. Who plans a bachelorette party on Mother's Day weekend? Only someone who's not a mother! No pampering for me :(

ClumberKim said...

I've been waiting 43 years for a perfect blue box. My daughter, just turned 2, has received two of them in the last 4 months. Wrong, wrong, wrongety, wrong, wrong.

Our anniversary is on Mother's Day this year. Hope springs eternal.

Krystyn said...

Can I add to your list? This was not a gift I received, but it sort of goes with grooming, but it was a personal trimmer! Yikes!

Dodson Family said...

Oooh I saw those nifty keys and suggested one too to my loving, caring, thoughtful hubby...he laughed.

Oh well it was worth a shot

Elisa said...

Oh, I love the new Tiffany keys! I first saw them on InSTyle, but the next time I was in the city I walked a little further down Fifth than I normally do... down to the land of designer stores... and there, in the Tiffany miniature shop window, were the keys. Smaller than I imagineds, but oh so lovely!!

Kel said...

oh how funny! I enjoy brunch and the kids..yes the kids get to pick moms gift...so it is always interesting (at least it usually comes with a spa certificate in tow.) :)

Have a wonderful day!!
~K

Elisa said...

(I meant "larger than I expected")

Debbie said...

I think you would look adorable in that rain coat!

I am P said...

I just reminded Big D of my wishes last night, including, Brunch followed by any of the following:
a perfect blue box with white ribbon;
anything from coach;
anything from East Wind Spa!
Ahh, I <3 Mother's Day!

LceeL said...

I would PAY. GOOD MONEY. To see you in that swimsuit.

I'm just sayin'.

Kristin said...

Great list! It's my first Mother's Day this year and I have been repeating my wishes for the past couple weeks. My birthday is also a week later so I am hoping to get at least one jewelry box.

Courtney said...

Ummmm....I LOVE this post. You crack me up with your classy ways.

April said...

I can't WAIT to see what my hubby starts to buy me for Mother's Days to come. It should be interesting! LOL

Nan Patience said...

I told my daughter that for Mother's Day this year I'd like to select some flats of annuals from a local greenhouse. And I need photo albums too. To tell you the truth, a new vacuum doesn't sound all that bad! And the microwave pooped out recently. But you're right, ix-ney on the appliances...

Tracey - Just Another Mommy Blog said...

I like the facial gifts. And breakfast in bed. And handmade cards. I'm pretty easy, though. Anything that says "Hey, we thought of you more than 24 hours in advance of Mother's Day!" is good by me.

Jaina said...

Haha, love it. I hope you get Tiffany's ;)

Tiaras and Tantrums said...

this is so on the money! I told my husband when we got married that he is to never buy me

lingerie/pjs
household applicances or anything for THE HOUSE

and that I always will take a blue box!

This year I sent him an email telling him exactly what to buy. He sent me a message back asking for something cheaper! hee hee!

Ali said...

i don't know if i should admit this, but i'd so much rather get a shiny, sexy appliance than anything from Tiffany any day!

Anti-Supermom said...

I think my husband could figure out this post.

I've already been warned that I'm getting license plate tabs for Mother's day.

Awesome.

Domestic Goddess (In Training) said...

Don't even get me started on gifts from the hubs. Its called a Love Jar. Its not pretty. In the future, I would just like the cash.

Blessings From Above said...

Great list! I especially agree with #2. A couple years ago I received a special pan to make popcorn in for Mother's Day. Worst. Gift. Ever!

Desiree Fawn said...

Hahaha, too funny!

Every Day Goddess said...

I told my husband when we first got married that no household appliance is ever to be considered for a present of ANY kind! So far so good.

I bought my own present this year from the Coach outlet. That way it was exactly what I wanted ;)

mpotter said...

very well put.
hope mr. oh is reading and heeding.

this is my first official mother's day; but last year i was QUITE surprised by a beautiful & unique pendant. not from tiffany's, but gorgeous. and soooo not like The Mr.
this year? i'll be happy if he remembers.

Kim said...

Oh my hubby already nailed the gift this year.. a shiny new camera.. so exciting.. Here's to hoping you get your Blue Box.. :)

A Crafty Mom said...

NO!! Are those PJs for real? Say it isn't so!!! Hoping your blue box arrives in your lap on Sunday . . . .

:)

Kelly said...

I feel you! I am just hoping for a card. My husband sucks at cards.

Cecily R said...

I know I am lame, but I am totally cool with appliances as gifts. Anything to make cleaning faster and easier is good with me. AND there is the added bonus that at least for a little while the excitement of a new toy (no matter what it is) makes Jon and the kids USE it.

As for what I want...a clean house. A clean house that is not cleaned by yours truly. That is bliss.

Lynette3boys said...

You made some excellent points.

And that bathing suit is hot. Where is it from? I've been looking for one similar to that and haven't had much luck although I haven't been searching too hard.

Jennifer said...

Great post! Attn. Husbands, you virtually can't go wrong with the little blue box.

Nap Warden said...

Hey, thanks for the mention:)

 

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