Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Casa de Classy Chaos

Hi Amy,

You know when you pulled me aside at the rec center pool yesterday and said, "I read your blog this morning. I am so jealous of your kitchen remodel." I smiled and politely thanked you.

Yeah. Well. What I was really thinking was:

Dear Gawd woman I have gained more then four pounds in four days from eating out. Hola Sodium. I have been working out since September and suddenly this remodel is going to ruin it all for me and I am going to be fluffy for BlogHer and my sister's engagement party and the wedding in Chicago this weekend and dear Gawd I found a spider in Fifi's sippy cup this morning because our silverware/baking ware/plates are quasi organized on the fugly kitchen table in my dinning room without a floor:



and oh em gee the kids scarfed down every imaginable box of poptarts/granola bars/years old cereal for breakfast this morning and had two-year-old Mamba for their breakfast "dessert" because my pantry looks like this and it was a free-for-all which I had no control over... their "crack" was openly displayed:


and I should have taken a picture of what my children looked like by lunchtime but you saw them at the pool. Crazy. And then another mom at the pool walked right passed us and whispered, "Ugh, I can't stand mothers that don't get their hair wet at the pool. Like. Hello? You're at the pool you are supposed to get wet!" And I wanted to scream start a bikini cat fight so much it hurt...

"THIS is all I have right now. A good hair cut!!! And God help me if I am going to let that go to waste."

Yeah. Well. That's what I was thinking at the time I smiled and politely thanked you. By the way, would you like to come over for a BBQ when the kitchen is done. Say... July of 2010 since this is the house that love built.

Your friend,
Pauline

PS. Why won't anyone invite us over for dinner? Do they secretly enjoy me going to a Cleveland strawberry farm coming home with fifty-eight pounds of strawberries only to realize that I have
no oven to bake my pie? UGH!

PPS. Can you please vote for me in the Nick's Parent Choice for best local Cleveland blog? You can do so daily it takes 1 sec. Heh, shameless enough?

41classy comments:

Megryansmom said...

I am first! Woohoo booyah! Yeah anyway, we should all have those problems. Last time I wore a bikini was TWENTY FIVE YEARS ago, sadly it will never happen again. Chin up, tits out, big girl panties on, you will survive this remodel.

Kari said...

You.are.my.favorite.

carrie said...

Mambas for breakfast?

My FAVORITE!

:)

Lisa said...

i'd invite you over for dinner. and you'd love my house cuz it's all crazy looking like that & i'm not even remodeling - just adjusting to life with three!

Stephanie said...

Lol, this post was great. Loved it!

angie said...

You're more than invited over to my house for dinner! Hop a plane to Orlando, sucka.

Monica said...

After working out twice today and practically puking my dinner up afterward, and STILL having so many many ugly ugly lady lumps, I can't even believe you were in a bikini. Now I am starting a cat fight with YOU. rar.

*jimaie.marie* said...

lol!! you are THE BEST. I would invite you over or dinner ANYTIME!

Naomi said...

Freakin' spitting out my drink.

That was some funny stuff ...

(mostly about the hair/pool, but also about the whining ... I mean the question about why no one will invite you over for dinner)

You are free to use my house ... it has an oven, but you'd have to drive to bake and then return back home as there is nothing IN the house to sit on or eat with :)

Tiaras & Tantrums said...

I NEVER - and I mean NEVER get my hair wet at the pool!!!!!!!! I refuse to have chlorine touch my $75 dye job!

Diva Ma @ Mommy Fabulous said...

WHO gets their hair wet? Not I said the goose!

Jill said...

Your "pantry" looks like my house right now... I'm so glad I'm not alone (though it sure does suck, doesn't it?)

And yeah... I straighten my hair, so you can be darn sure I'm not getting it wet at the pool - there has to be a super special occasion for that to happen.

DysFUNctional Mom said...

Although I think the cat fight is a fabulous idea, you are way too hard on yourself! You're doing great. You rock.

LceeL said...

I feel for you, Pauline. Remodels just throw the whole thing up in the air with no regard for where things land.

And of course I'll vote for you.

Indy said...

I feel so guilty. I didn't even think to make you dinner. I haven't even thought of making it for my own family. LOL. We have t-ball tonight so tonight is out. Can I bring dinner Wednesday or Thursday?

Flea said...

I hear that strawberries don't make good pies anyway. Turn to mush.

What's a Mamba?

Managed Chaos said...

You are welcome to my house for dinner anytime. Seriously. And I'll even make another strawberry pie for dessert =)

PS Wed. this week or anytime next week are good for me

Smart A$$ Mom said...

I will be willing to bet those mom's, those mom's who said that comment, had some dramatically difference to you.

Catty?

Yes, I own it.

Kel said...

Remodels are tough, but SO worth it in the end - and just think - if your kiddos keep eating all the 'yummy' stuff, you'll have less to put back in the pantry! :) hehe
~Kel

I am P said...

"fluffy" that's cute!
i'm sure the remodel will be worth the wait!

Tee aka The Diva's Thoughts said...

I so can't wait to see the complete remodel project. I bet it's going to look fabulous!

Blessings From Above said...

This post cracked me up!!! Thanks for the morning laugh - I needed it.

Mommyto3K's said...

That is great. I loved how you referred to all the junk food as, "their crack" openly displayed. We just recently locked down our kids "crack." Yep, lock was installed on the pantry door:-) The kitchen will look great once it is all done and you will soon forget about all the chaos.

Hailey said...

I would totally invite you over to dinner! We could be BFFs! Haha!

HaB said...

Try being preggo and remodeling - and then not being finished and popping the kid three weeks early, and then living with your parents for the first 3 months of your child's life. This is after, having been out on your own for almost 10 years and still being a newlywed with your husband. Oye!

It could be worse - keep that in mind.

On a different note - you have a beautiful home from the pics you have shared - despite the current chaos and remodeling status. =)

anya said...

Your posted pics are precisely the reason why I refuse to remodel. I'd freak out, and my children would have to visit me at the pysch ward.
You are a brave woman.

Renny said...

I would totally invite you over, I mean, its a long trip from Cleveland to Utah just for dinner, but I'll make you something delicious if you bring a strawberry pie :)
In a few months I'll be on the east coast (Vermont or Virginia), if you feel that the kitchen still won't be done, and that trip might be slightly closer for you, my invitation still stands.

Chandra said...

I voted for you, well because you are the funniest and best blog in Cleveland. Your winning by a mile!

Look, at least they are eating something right? My kid ate a drumstick for breakfast..yes you read that right a drumstick. It's 98 degrees here, I'll let the kid eat cool anything right about now!

Amy said...

Heh - this whole thing is hilarious. Except that pool mom - you should have tripped her!

But here's what I need to know - what color are your dining room walls. The exact name and paint brand would be most helpful. I think I'm painting my dining room gold and that looks like what I want!

Tracey - Just Another Mommy Blog said...

Oh, I love ya Pauline. I'd invite you over if you lived closer and I actually did things like invite people over so I can cook for them...

The White House said...

come on over!!! Our family of six is living with our in-laws...

You are absolutely hilarious. Love it!

Krystyn said...

Come on over..and I'll bake you a delicious strawberry pie (but the crust won't be homemade)!

Here's to the remodel being done before school starts up again.

Al_Pal said...

awww, honey! You can do it. Hang in there! There's gotta be SOME healthier eat-out options, hasn't there? Meep. Um. You still have a fridge & microwave? ;p

Momo Fali said...

I have lived through a whole-house remodel. I don't envy you one bit.

Loukia said...

1. I love your paint colour! That's the same as my bedroom.

2. I don't want to be you right now. Kids plus a house with stuff everywhere would make me want to pull out my hair.

3. You're beautiful, you look fabulous, your kitchen will be fabulous, it will be finished before you know. Maybe not, like, in the blink of an eye, but before you know it.

4. You are invited to my house for dinner, but I don't know how to cook. We can eat cheese, though, because I'm not eating carbs right now. ;)

5. Your post made me laugh.

anymommy said...

Poptarts for breakfast are fine - they are fortified.

I never, ever, ever get my hair wet at the pool. Hate it. Take that, mean pool mother.

Kelley said...

It takes 6 HOURS for my hair to dry and then I have all the straightening hoohaa... I would have pushed the woman in the pool.

the mama bird diaries said...

Oh boy. Good luck with the renovations. :)

Elaine A. said...

I'll see your kitchen remodel and raise you one extensive foundation repair project (see blog post today...)

Seriously though, I feel ya, we went through this for a while last year. It IS crazy. Hope things go smooth and quickly.

amyjr said...

Once upon a time, my house looked like your house when we added onto our home in Cleveland. All I can say is I didn't have kids then.
Thanks for remembering our start to our friendship.
You will make it thru...give me some of the strawberries and I will bake your pies.
Hugs,
A

Jaina said...

Heh, I could help eat those strawberries...I LOVE strawberries. :)

 

Blog Designed by: NW Designs

Original Header and Concept by: Judith Shakes