Wednesday, June 03, 2009

I don't care what you say. He's happily married to a manipulator.

The very first negative comment I got on my blog was on a post where I admitted to buying two pairs of black stilettos because I could not make up my mind between the two in the store and so I brought them both back home and after the kids were in bed I paraded around in my sexy new heels and mini skirt. Hoping. My husband could help me choose.

"Keep both."

It was beyond my wildest expectations. The naughty parade around the laundry baskets and diapers was enough for him to forget about the price. The negative comment left on that post said something like, "OHmommy. You just lost a reader. How could you manipulate your husband like that?"

Waaaa.... I cried. Deleted that post. And. Then grew a (web) backbone.

Tonight, as I was editing my photos online I overheard a news program my husband was watching, "Would you rather go home to a happy woman with 300 pairs of shoes or go home to an angry woman with 4 pairs of shoes?" It was said in response to a husband complaining about his wife's shopping habits. You can insert what ever you are into in lieu of shoes... you get the point. I remember exclaiming something like, "Boo-Yah!" In which my husband looked at me like I was crazy.

"What?" I asked. "You are the head of the household. That's clear. But we all know that I am the neck that turns the head, yo!"

Geesh... I convinced my man into having a third child right after he had just purchased the designer ARHAUS dinner table/chairs in celebration of us having two kids. No slutty lingerie was involved in that deal. We blessed the mahogany with a prayer, "This really is our third child that we will nature and nurture into divine dinner parities from here on out." And we were happy with our third child, the dinette set. Nine months later the Feenster was born.

I do get a lot of what I want. I admit. But it's only because I play the roll of a slutty 50s pin-up wife who manipulates my husband into thinking that it is he who makes the decisions as the head of the household.

I don't know about your husband. But mine doesn't complain. Actually. He really likes it. And we are very happily married because my parades in heels around the laundry piles are quite convincing enough for us to say, "Don't knock it until you try it."

79classy comments:

thethirddegree said...

LOVE this post! <3

Totally made me laugh, and I can hear your smart-ass tone through the whole thing!

Kelley said...

You weren't manipulating your husband, you were allowing him to feel like he was buying you something.

And you totally changed the name of the post! Not fair!

DysFUNctional Mom said...

Damn right he does! He's no fool, and neither are you. Win/win situation.

Huckdoll said...

I remember that post and at the time didn't bat an eyelash. The second time around though...that whole parading around the laundry basket thing is so damn clever and noted! Like Cyndy said win/win. Thanks!

MsMommy said...

More power to you. Sounds like the one reader who said you lost her has some kind of inferiority complex. And your post obviously touched a nerve. Her loss. Nothing wrong with flashin' some BOO-TAY (or what have you) sporadically to get what you want.

Jill said...

I'd just be happy to find 2 pairs of shoes that fit... and you'd can be darn sure I'd keep them.

My husband would laugh if I said that he's the head of the household... sure he is the breadwinner, but he knows who really rules the roost. :)

Ainsley* said...

Absolutely amazing!!!

Al_Pal said...

Love it!

Absolutely, as with many things: don't knock it till you've tried it.

Amen, sister! :D

Allison Says said...

Haha--you crack me up.

The readers you "lost" a while back? Meh. They obviously are judgmental jerks.

Who cares what you do in your HAPPY and HEALTHY marriage?!

Go you!

designHER Momma said...

I think alot of us our guilty of workin' it just like you. I don't think it's manipulating at all - if everyone is happy in the end...

Lauren said...

You are just genious! I love reading your fun blog! I couldn't have said it better! Thanks for sharing your blog!

Kel said...

haha - as long as everyone knows that 'he's the head' and your the 'neck that turns the head', the body that supports the head, the arms & legs that take care of that head - then of course you should have plenty of shoes...to keep that 'head' looking stylish of course! :)
~K

Steve Newkirk said...

Fab post! OH Mommy - it's post like this that keep me coming back for me. I love your humor.

Tara R. said...

Are you kidding? We are all manipulators in some way, your way is just more fun for both of you. Maybe hubs is manipulating you. Knowing you wanted both, he wanted you to 'convince' him to 'let' you keep the shoes.

Sounds to me like you both play the game and are enjoying every minute of it. Total win/win situation.

Managed Chaos said...

I think if we're all honest, we all "manipulate" our husbands in some manner or other. And there's nothing wrong with it as long as everyone is happy.

jen said...

i always say that if jeremy doesn't agree with me on something ... i work at it (quietly) until he actually feels that he came up with the idea himself! then i get what i want everytime!
and ... don't worry ... we've talked about it ... he is totally aware that i do it. and he's ok with it ... because he's realized that i'm generally right in the first place. he just feels that he has to put up a little fight to maintain his "manhood".

Amy said...

This is a perfect post! I've traded sexual favors for shoes (really really expensive ones) myself and my husband didn't seem the least daunted by the fact that I would prostitute myself for footwear (only with him of course).

Immoral Matriarch said...

Favorite post from you ever.
Tell 'em how it is, woman!

Desiree Fawn said...

Haha, awesome.
And forget about that lameo negative comment: most likely jealousy, or someone without a sense of humour?

Love!

Melissa and Cas said...

Your husband was watching Rick and Bubba on Fox! They are out of Alabama. I just love reading your stories. I was not able to watch them last night and when I heard the replay on their radio show this morning......I was excited when I realized they were who you were talking about your husband watching when they were talking about their wives and shoes! I always listen to them and always read you!

krissy said...

BooRah.

This is marriage. Sorry to say. If my husband wants something then he takes over child duty or rubs my feet. No different. Marriage is compromising. So all the crabby's can eat it. Seriously.

I love your new web backbone. It is showing us the real ohmommy.

Don Mills Diva said...

Whatever works, sister, whatever works.

Krystyn said...

Love it!

And, I don't think it's manipulating...I bet he's not complaining either. And, he's smart enough to know what's going on.

Elisa said...

That was a bitchy comment and to that former reader I'd say "farewell".

Honestly, THAT's manipulation? Seriously? Please. That's barely trying to get a husband to pay attention.

Not all husbands are such idiotic Neanderthals that you can get them to do anything with the promise of sex. I know mine isn't, and it doesn't sound like your is either. Some would just do anything to make us happy. That's love. Not manipulation.

Linnie said...

That's great. ;)

It's not manipulation if the situation is win-win. It's "politics". :P

Cheri @ Blog This Mom! said...

Bless your heart.

Now show us the shoes, dang it.

Jog said...

You should see what I did to get my new camera body..haha.. I kid.. I kid..

Love this Oh.. Totally love it.. :)

Blessings From Above said...

I love it! It's a win/win situation.

Jenny, the Bloggess said...

How is that manipulation? It's not like you were getting some high school freshman to murder your husband in exchange for sex. THAT'S manipulation.

Not that I've ever done that. *cough*

Indy said...

Your hubby isn't stupid. He knows what you are up to. Maybe he is the manipulator. LOL.

Stephanie said...

My husband would love for me to walk around in high heels and mini skirt.

Rachel said...

Hell yes.
that is all ;-)

Smart A$$ Mom said...

Being that Mr.T is a man of numbers, the basic make the most sense to him. Manipulation gets me nowhere. I do get what I want, but by the very strict policy that it is better to ask for forgiveness than to ask permission.

Tee aka The Diva's Thoughts said...

I applaud you!!! You have mastered the game my friend.

Daniella said...

great post! The other day my husband and I were speaking to a "young" couple about to get married and they asked us our secret. My husbands answer I'm married to a women who lets me think I'm in charge ;)

Chandra said...

Consider it a gerat 'toning' exercise when wearing stileto's...so really you are doing yourself a favor when buying those shoes!

And to all the naysayers...if your marriage is working because of it then kuddos to you! I'm sure he know's he's being minipulated to some degree and for some reason I don't think he minds..hence baby #3! LOL!

Great post!

Jessica said...

I aim to be the next OHmommy. :)

the mama bird diaries said...

My husband would have suggested I keep both pairs of shoes too and if he came home with two pairs of shoes (I'd let him keep both too).

Renny said...

Ha, parade away! Believe it or not, there are probably people in this world that don't look good in stilletos, they are bitter and jealous of those who do. So parade away!

Alicia said...

I love this post!!!

Cecily R said...

He's no dummy. Don't tell me HE doesn't do a little manipulating of his own to GET you to do some of that manipulating. Heee.

Heather said...

It works at our house as well. A little leg & batting some eyelashes never steered me wrong. LOL

Zoeyjane said...

If people have a problem with the way YOU manipulate YOUR husband, maybe they should spend more time on THEIR own blogs. Personally, I don't see anything more than a little teasing - it's not as if you're never going to put out if you don't get your way. THAT'D be manipulating. Ahem.

JJ Keith said...

Great post. I noticed the title change too, and for what it's worth, I liked the original one better. :-) lol

Maura said...

Do what rocks your combined world. It works for you and that's all that matters!

Courtney said...

Good for you for getting a backbone. As long as you are both happy who cares.

Ringleader said...

Your husband is no dummy... new shoes and going along with what you want is well worth it to him in exchange for a smokin hot wife who loves him and will parade around in stilettos for him! That's not manipulation, it's quid pro quo!

Gotfam said...

That's great! We all manipulate in little ways here and there. But most of us don't admit to it.

And you know what - our husbands do it too..whether it be with us or at their jobs. You can't tell me that people in corporate america don't manipulate to get their way.

I say - carry on oh' domestic goddess!!

rebecca said...

Haha, hilarious. For what it's worth, my mother always said you have to train the good ones. Sounds like you're doing that quite nicely ;)

Hailey said...

Love it!
I bow down to you Queen Manipulator. Teach me well.
Ha!

Momisodes said...

I don't see anything wrong with that. In fact, I should certainly try it.

Sounds like you know how to make each other happy!

Kat said...

Hahaha!!! You go, girlie!!!

The Mom Jen said...

You're my hero.

Jro said...

You go girl!!! love the "..I am the neck that turns the head.." comment. I'm going to have to tell that to my hubby. ha!!

Legallyblondemel said...

*Standing & clapping* - and taking notes, as usual.

AEC said...

Makes me want to go out and buy some heels!

Half Gaelic, Half Garlic! said...

This might be my favortie post ever!!!

Perfectly said sister!!

Lisa

rockanddrool said...

great post!
i'm married to a manipulator too. well...he THINKS he's the one manipulating. high five sistah!!

Texan Mama @ Who Put Me In Charge said...

Hee Hee ... we should all know how to push our husband's buttons. For him, it's not parading around in heels & lingerie. For him it would be letting him sleep as late as he wants to in the morning.

And for that matter, don't our husbands do the same for us? If they want some BOO-TAY, don't they help with the kids, load the dishwasher, and sweep the kitchen?

It's all in the method. And, for what it's worth, when he gets what he wants, it's not like it's not a good thing for you too!

Lisa said...

this may be one of my favs....6 week check-up is tomorrow - need to go finbd my heels amongst the laundry!!!

just jamie said...

Dude. Marriage advice. I should have taken it from you. :)

Jeni said...

You know as well as I do I'm betting that the person who left that comment is jealous because she either has no one at all to "manipulate" or that her mate is a cheapskate! My theory with this is who does it hurt as long as you have money enough to feed and clothe your children, your spouse, yourself, keep the roof over your head that you want and to hell with anyone who doesn't approve of the way you live your life. Jealousy will get people no where! So keep on vamping around, get those stilettos, sharp clothes -the whole nine yards, Kiddo!

Loukia said...

YAY great post, you rock, you truly do. As if someone left you that nasty comment... whatever, they were just totally jealous! Keep both. Those are the nicest words to hear, aren't they? I have done that before. Many times, with lots of different things, shoes, pants, etc. Sometimes it's better to just keep both. Because thinking about which one you should buy is not going to be an easy decision, you know? I still to the day remember a purse I did NOT buy when I was 18 and in Greece. Black purse, bamboo handle, totally gorgeous. I thought my aunt was going to buy it for me because I pointed out how much I loved it and she winked and I was like, 'yay' but then the day I was leaving she gave me a new white purse. I was so sad and heartbroken and on the way to the airport and I still think about my black with bamboo handle purse to this day. And I am sorry for rambling my nonesense here.

Mrs Lemon said...

awesome - my husband is the same way. I try to not take advantage of it, but when I'm asking "which pair?" I'm pretty sure he's going to say "both! I like them both! get both!"

Kari said...

Love it!

2 Little Irish Boys said...

I say manipulate away!! Do what works--if the reward is shoes--yipee. Might need to start taking some of your advice-he,he!!

I am Barking Mad said...

This is awesome...totally and completely awesome.

You've got yourself a win-win situation and if you're both happy, then who cares what anyone else says!

Rock those shoes mama!

Auds at Barking Mad!

Amy said...

LOVE it! And I live it! And there's nothing wrong with that ;-)

Kate Coveny Hood said...

Those haters take themselves FAR too seriously. My husband would love it if I paraded around in heels and a mini. Of course, he would then tell me to return BOTH pairs of shoes...

Tracey - Just Another Mommy Blog said...

"Manipulating" is a mean word. So is "bribery". Life is about compromise, working for what you want, and figuring out how to let everyone live as happy of a life as possible.

And if your marriage makes you both happy, then why in the world would anyone else even be involved?

Women use their looks to "catch" their man; why not use them to keep the one you have happy? Looks aren't everything, but being happy with what we have and enjoying the moment IS.

I am P said...

Manipulation has a bad connotation, i think what you do goes on in most marraiges, just defined or worded differently! PS, i loooove my big fat greek wedding :)

Jessica said...

I agree with everything you are saying. When it comes down to it, as long as your husband thinks he is making the decision he is happy. He doesn't care if you are gearing him one direction or the other!

Alli Worthington {@alliworthington} said...

You will have a long & happy marriage! :)

{winks}

Jules said...

That's not being manipulative. That's give and take. You gave him what he wanted (seeing you dolled up looking sexy), and he gave you what you wanted (shoes). Nothing wrong with that!

Scout's Honor said...

I'm that wife with 300 shoes...well 100...and not one bit ashamed. It's my thing. I did get some negative comments when I posted when I purchased over 20 pairs...all at a crazy $9.99. Check out 6PM.com, my friend.

So, their complaint and calls about bragging? Whatever. The same women probably wear one pair at $400. Or have a nanny or housekeeper or gardner or even a regular babysitter. I don't. We all make choices. I just shrug and keep on keeping on.

And the wife who can't persuade her husband is sad indeed. As is the husband who can't get wife to allow all his REI and ridiculous camping and tech gadgets or whatever his thing is...maybe golf? Fishing?

The point is gender doesn't matter. We all manipulate to get what we want in relationships. In fact, I don't like the word manipulate. It's more give and take. Give and take--the panacea for a happy marriage.

Scary Mommy said...

This post is awesome. You are awesome. And that reader who left? Their loss!

Patti said...

So one reader left, and how many new ones have taken her place? (ME!)

Jaina said...

And I bet he's well aware of it. That reader's fault if they left for something like that. I think it's a win/win situation, like everyone else is saying. It works and everyone is happy :) Nothin wrong with that.

Annie said...

Oh the 50s housewife pinup is my fave! I call it a Jedi mind trick around here.

Yes, they will do most anything if you keep them f*ed and fed.

 

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