Monday, March 17, 2008

It seems like yesterday

Four years ago today, my Mama drove to Ohio in preparation for the birth of my second child. She prepared us a heavy dinner of sauteed sausage and onions and convinced my husband and I to see a movie. We kissed our only child goodnight and drove to the theatre.

I wasn't able to fully enjoy Monster with Charlize Theron that night. As I sat uncomfortably in the seat, 70 pounds heavier, my mind wandered.

Will I love this child as much as Jay?

Is it possible to spread my love?

How will I handle two children under the age of two?

Are these cramps or just a full belly of sausage?

My husband, unaware of my wandering mind and upset stomach, was completely devoted to the movie. I remember looking at him in the darkness and preserving the memory of us sitting quietly together. My mind wandered all night long. I rubbed my belly and went over our list of names on the drive home.

"What about Katherine?" I asked my husband. "No, too common. 50% of all Polish women are named Katherine." He replied.

"What about Olivia?" I tried again. "No. Remember Olivia on the Discovery Health Network? She was dying of cancer." He answered.

"Hmmmm. What about Emily?" I shifted my 200 pound body around because my stomach was seriously upset at this point. "No. Your mom said her slutty cousin was named Emily, remember?"

We arrived to a sparkly clean house. It took my Mamusia just under 3 hours to wash dishes, put Jay to bed, completely clean the entire house, and light candles. My husband retired to bed early and I finally fell asleep minutes before midnight.

This was my last day as a mother of one. It seems like yesterday.

61classy comments:

Kelly said...

Ohmommy, I love your posts because you write what I know as my own truth. Yet, you do it more eloquently than I ever could. I remember that fear that I would not love the second like the first. I was terrified to have two under two, still am most days. But then they arrive, and the heart splits open and melts.
You are such a beautiful writer and Momma!

Jeff said...

Happy birthday to your daughter!

Blog Hoppin in the 11th hour.

Rachel said...

I just love you. Your writing is so real, honest and true. I remember having these very same thoughts and those very same name type discussions. Thanks for the grins and for being the wonderful you.

The MomBabe said...

Awww, it's so bittersweet isn't it? You can always make me smile. ♥

Karen said...

Isn't it funny how we mommies preserve such detail from life? Happy birthday, little one! You've got a gem of a mommy.

suchsimplepleasures said...

hey...my daughter's name is emily!!! anyway...that was a great post! i can't wait to talk about the day i went from a mommy of one to a mommy of 2...exactly 2 years apart, almost to the day!!
xoxo

suchsimplepleasures said...

oh yeah...happy birthday, number 2!!
xoxo

krissy said...

Well happy birtday to Lola! She didn't know just how wonderful her mother was going to be either.

I think we all remember the days, minutes, seconds before our children painfully entered the world!!!

I didn't like the movie Monster that much either. I would rather watch a good ole' fashing funny!!!!

Dianna said...

Happy birthday to YOU*!*

I strongly believe that WE should receive gifts and praise on our children's b-days too...and cake...and maybe those little blowie things too. If you think about what our bodies go through and for how long it goes through it to bring these wonderful creatures into the world....

yeah, I think we deserve at least a bowl of ice cream or something...

Nicole said...

What a sweet memory to carry through life.

Thanks for sharing it - and expressing it in such a lovely way!

zoeyjane said...

happy birthday! four is such an awesome time...

i'm still kind of tripping out over you wondering if the sausage was biting you back. i knew. and i knew for far too long before i actually got a baby out of me :P

Nap Warden said...

Happy Birthday!

tyfamilyadventures said...

Time goes by to quickly.Isn't it funny how we remember all the details of the early days.I hope your daughter had a happy birthday.I can't imagine what your thoughts were with two under two.I was flipping out over a 27 month difference.

Amy said...

I had those thoughts too, about loving a second baby. And then my midwife said something to me that I will NEVER forget...
A mother's love is never divided, each child gets it all.
Isn't that just the most beautiful thing, and so true!
Happy Birthday to your sweet girl!

Ms. Porter said...

you have a fab mom to do that for you...lucky you.
such a lovely post too...

renatamic said...

happy birthday, dear lola!!

i also remember that day like it was yesterday too...i was at the local pub celebrating st. patty's day...and i get a phone call from you, my BFF..."renatamic, i am on my way to the hospital...about to give birth to a baby girl!! keep by the phone for updates!" my thoughts..."WOW, i am wasted at a bar on st. patty's day and my BFF is in labor!" needless to say - i will never forget lola's birthdate...EVER!!!

LOVE TO YOU AND TO HER!! to think how well you've conquered loving three :-)

Grandy said...

Happy birthday to the little one!!

Stella said...

The memories we hold with us are so vivid sometimes. I feel like I could easily be transported back to the moments and days just before my children were born and even right before I got married.

Great post from a great mom!

Stephanie said...

Happy Birthday to your little angel!

I wonder sometimes the same things you were wondering (for when that time comes to procreate again!).

That was a beautiful post!

Jennifer said...

that is so sweet. the entire thing. and your mom is the BEST. (well my mom is too, but you know what I'm saying) ;)
Enjoy your daughters birthday! ;) I, too, worried about having a second child while my son was so little, but actually I had two more babies coming. I had three children two & under. It just works itself out, and your heart just grows and grows for each child. Amazing. Isn't it?
Have a great day!
Hugs ~

MamaWise said...

My Mamusia did the EXACT same thing when I was having my second child. She had my house clean like it had never been before and we always had full bellies.

Time is flying way too fast! It does seem like just yesterday...

Happy birthday to Lola!

And, P.S. Are you feeling better?

GoMommy said...

I love how you can tell the simplest story that captures the moment so well!

LunaNik said...

Happy Birthday to Lola!

And btw, "your mom said her slutty cousin was named Emily..." So. Effing. Funny.

Smart A$$ Mom said...

I totally remember being terrified that I would have another girl and really believed she could never be as pretty, smart or funny as Missy B. And now I have 4 nieces and see that is NEVER the case.

Happy birthday to Lola!

Kathryn said...

Aww. That is such a sweet memory. Thank you for sharing. :)

P said...

Awwww, how sweet. I wish I had sweet memories like that. I remember it being mid-July in Mississippi and thinking if they don't get this baby out immediately, I'm going to sweat to death!

Mrs4444 said...

Sweet memories. As the seventh child of nine, my decision to stop at two kids was a conscious one. I knew that I did not want to spread my love or attention any further. I've been very happy with my decision.

Ashlee said...

Happy Bday to your second! How great that your mom could come and help out!
I never felt worried about loving the second one the same, I worried about the first child because he had been an only child for almost 6 years. It was a hard adjustment..but we made it!

Tara R. said...

You reminded me of my own last night before I became a mommy... thanks for that sweet memory. ♥

Don Mills Diva said...

Happy birthday to your girl. It's impossible to explain how poignant the passage of time becomes when you are a mother but you've done a pretty fanstic job of it...

April said...

I remember wondering that same thing; how could I love another as much as I love my Sylvia? That's why we say, "nobody loves you like I do." It's not a quantity, it's a love like no other.
Happy b-day to your little one!

Sue said...

Oh, flashbacks of that pre-labor uncomfortable shifting, haha. Happy Birthday Fifi!

MamaWise said...

P.S. You have bloggy love over at my place!

XOXO

Sister Sassy said...

Aw! love that little peek into your last day as a mom of one. I think we all have those same thoughts.

Janice said...

I remember when i was preg with the 2 year old thinking I would t all work and freaking my self out about it all.

I have to agree with everyone else and say that your writing is amazing

Marie around the World said...

That's funny that you talk about that time in a mommy life. I remember being so tired and so completely disorganized after having my second that I wish we had enjoy that moment with just one kid. People always tell you how your life is going to change forever with a child but nobody warns you about life with #2 !!
One thing is like you said, lots of questions and doubt...at the end, when we look behind us, we are happy that we did it !! But I still have doubts about life with 3 !
Happy Birthday Lola ! Lucky girl with such a great mom !

Real World Mom said...

What sweet memories! Happy Birthday, Lola!

kimmy said...

I love this post...I too felt the same way when I brought my daughter home from the hospital. My son was only 20 months old at the time, and I was sad to think that he would never remember his time "alone" with me. Now, several years later (my son is 8 and my daughter is 6) they are the best of friends!

Thanks for the sweet comment on my blog today. My husband did read it and he called from work to say he loved me...what a sweetie!

Take care!

Kimmy

mamatulip said...

What a sweet snapshot of your last day as a mother of one.

Happy Birthday to your babe...

Kash said...

I thought the same thing with # 3 was born. I was like, "Could she get better than girl #2?" And she is certainly exceeding all my expectations! Buzi fifi!

Momo Fali said...

Happy Birthday to your sweet girl!

Also, can Mama please come do all that to my house in three hours? Even three days would be fine.

April said...

Your posts about your children are so much fun for me to read...they make me ache all the more for children of my own!

Pink Lemonade Liz said...

Very sweet... Happy Birthday to your little one!

Huckdoll said...

My stepmom was just like your mom, pre- and post- twins. Aren't people like that just amazing? Those huge gestures meant so much more to me then the Baby Bjorn and designer baby duds.

It's sad, I'll never know what having one is like...it must have been really special, I'm very jealous.

Kim said...

Happy Birthday to your daughter!!

I remember sitting in my car before I was going to be induced waiving to my little man in the window crying hysterically like it was yesterday. I never in a million years thought my heart could grow this big..

Tootsie Farklepants said...

That is so sweet! And your mom is very generous. I remember having that same feeling that I might not be able to love the second child as much as the first. All doubts were gone the second he was born.

carrie said...

Oh my goodness, I remember feeling the same way, wondering how in the world I could love another baby like I did my first.

Manic Mom said...

aH, this was such a sweet post!

I remember when I 'fell pregnant'... (HA, I HATE THAT TERM!!!) with my second when my first child was ONLY nine months old, I felt soooo guilty like I was depriving him of his time with me! But the gift of siblings and so close in age was a wonderful thing!

Happy birthday to your daughter!!!!

This was really a beautiful post.

Nissa said...

What a neat memory! And that you remember in such detail. I can barely recall what important thing happened last week.
I hope she has(had) a wonderful birthday!

just jamie said...

Is your mother available to babysit?

Love your words, as always.

Cecily R said...

Ah, you say things so beautifully! Happiest Birthday little OH! I'm sure your mom will preserve the memories perfectly!!

Caffeine Court said...

My youngest will be 5 in July-I too remember it like yesterday! What a beautiful post!

Rob said...

Is it possible to spread my love?

The more you love the more you can love. Love feeds upon itself and grows without limit. The more the better.

girlymom said...

You have such wonderful memories! This is so sweet. Have a wonderful day full of more memories.

HaPpy BiRthDaY LoLA!

Motherhood for Dummies said...

I keep thinking abotu what it is going to be like when we have our second.....scary. Our second might have to be an accident cuase I don't know when I am going to be too nervous to have a second one :)

Jane the Sane said...

What a great memory! Happy birthday to your little one. I love thinking about those last few days before being a mom. What precious time and filled with so much anxiety and hope.

Amy said...

ohhh so sweet...! Thanks so much for sharing and Happy Birthday to Lola!

HRH said...

What amazing thoughts. Happy birthday.

amanda said...

happy, happy birthday to you both! bc a baby's birthday is also a mommy's birthday :)

LaskiGal said...

Oh, Happy Day. A birthday . . .

You captured that moment perfectly.

Thanks for taking us back . . .

Rhea said...

I am enjoying reading all your archived posts. It's hard to remember being a mother of one now, I bet. :o)

 

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