Monday, June 08, 2009

"Barracuda is the new Burberry Plaid of wall decor"*

Minutes ago, FedEx rang my door bell and left me with this:

A mounted trophy?

What? I suddenly remembered that one rainy evening when my husband mentioned that "his catch" was being shipped and should arrive shortly. But I was busy re-connecting with old friends on FaceBook twitter and myspace and didn't pay attention to all the details. Here's the fish minutes after his unfortunate death.

Until.

Oh yeah. THE barracuda arrived. Today.

Seriously? Where am I supposed to hang such a hideous thing? It's so doesn't match my shabby chic country decor that I have been desperately trying to achieve. BusyDad said to throw some crowns on the barracuda's front teeth and mount it in the husband's dental office. Sounds like a plan. Heh. Don't even get me started on the price of mounting/stuffing a dead fish to be used as wall art, as I am currently calculating how many pedicures it has set me back.

So. What has your husband brought home to hang in the house man cave? Humor me. Please?

*Quote by Smart A$$ Mom (my blogher roomie) on twitter.


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49classy comments:

AEC said...

That my friend, is seriously unfortunate. Good luck with that and all!

McMommy said...

Feel free to send it to Florida. My husband would love the addition of a barracuda to his Man Room walls.

Yes, God as my witness, we have a "Man Room". It's dark, it has two flat screen televisions, many computers, and there is a beer fridge. He even has a plaque that hangs on the wall that says "The Man Room"....CLASSY enough for ya?? :)

Megryansmom said...

Ha! Better you than me. Our man cave is the family room filled with sports memorabilia, it's like stepping into Applebee's with couches. I vote for sending it to the office too.

Kat said...

HAHAHA!!!!! That is hilarious! Not as bad as deer heads though. ;)
My hubby does do a lot of hunting, but thankfully isn't into the hunting decor. I hope it stays that way. ;)

Indy said...

OK. So did he catch this and have it preserved (I don't even know the correct terms for this sort of thing)or did he buy it from someone who did? Either way. I am sorry. What will you make him do with this? Your basement isn't very man cavish. More Pottery Barn Kidsish. I like the office idea. Not your new kitchen! LOL. I can't wait to show Mike this one.

Life As I Know It said...

I would have him bring that to work and hang it up in his office...that's where all my husband's fishing stuff is ;)

Autumn said...

My husband brought home a plastic clock that has pictures of cars and every hour one of those cars revs it's engine. Oh yea... CL.ASS.Y!

Smart A$$ Mom said...

I say, get yourself a classy frame, hand the fish in the middle of it and adorn a major wall. They say your decor shouldn't be taken too seriously. You could also mimic a signature at the bottom ala Picasso. As for my 'Man Room'....well, I will send you photos. Just know that where there is a gatrillion dollar Barracuda, there is a set of ORANGE COUCHES.

Flea said...

Cold caps. The teeth need gold caps.

Our man cave has a life sized Storm Trooper, whose gun points at you no matter where you are.

Marketing Mama said...

That's hilarious! I would die.

Probably the worst that appeared in my house was a giant poster of a Storm Trooper. From Star Wars.

Being the nice wife I am, I had it professionally framed - to class it up a bit - and then told him he could hang it in the basement. :)

Formerly Gracie said...

Hubs has a poster from "The Labyrinth" that he refuses to part with... (Yep, the David Bowie movie from the 80s) I first encountered it hanging in his bachelor lair and it's followed us everywhere since.

I am P said...

That "beauty" would have to go to the dental office, no discussion! :-)

Elisa said...

Oh wow. My husband doesn't fish, thank goodness, but he has bought some hideous clothes for the girls in the past. Like a pair of tie-die bright punk capri jeans with pink sequins along the pockets and a pink plastic heart charm. He returned them :-)

Aunt Becky said...

Dude. That is one rad fish.

My MIL (closest thing to my husband that brought me something horrifying to put on my wall) brought me a horrible light up snowman picture. The accent lights blinked on and off and I wanted to die.

The 5 Bickies said...

Fortunately, we have escaped fish as my hubby prefers expensive framed autographs from a variety of sports professionals. I fear we will run out of wall space or $!

Karen said...

We've got a 46" moose rack that has no permanent home. What does one do with THAT?

expateek said...

What I think is really amazing and totally unfair is that the taxidermist used such deceptive packaging for the fish.

I mean, if it had said "Mounted trophy" perhaps you could have refused it upon delivery. But instead, "YHPORT DETNOUM" "ELIGARF" and "TALF YAL TON OD"?

That's just not really cricket.

Whiney Momma said...

Yikes, that is one crazy piece of wall art!

Every Day Goddess said...

Uh yeah, my husband likes to hunt, he has his deer antlers mounted. They are ONLY allowed to hang in the garage or his shop. I told him the same thing with a deer head, no way is it coming in the house. My mother in law is lucky enough to have 4 deer head and the ugliest boar head you have ever seen hanging in her living room! She is one LUCKY LADY!!

Chiloe said...

Oh yes, I really need to take a picture of what my husband brought home: you won't believe it : it's really a man cave accessory ! ;-) I still can't believe it myself! But thanks god for the garage/basement that we have !!!!!

I love the idea of the denta office !!!

You need some voting for the contest as you're loosing right now ;-)

3 Peanuts said...

Ouch I don't even know what to say....so sorry.

Jennifer Kirk Photography said...

Ha ha ha ha ha!!
Ha.

Chickadee said...

Sadly, I cannot think of any advice at all. There is no more room in my head--it's consumed with the same thought running over and over..."better you than me, better you than me..."

I had a 1,500 heavy metal CD collection to contend with (taking up precious space in my family room). I convinced my husband to build a custom distressed-black-with-nice-molding shelf to accommodate them all. Marriage is all about compromise, right?

Tara R. said...

Maybe you could install an iPod in it and make it sing. I do like the 'grill' idea too.

BusyDad said...

Well I for one think it is beautiful, crowns or no crowns! If you would like to give it a home where it will be loved and appreciated (MY man room), then feel free to send it along. I'll even have it write you a letter once in a while to let you know how he's doing.

Desiree Fawn said...

Oh dear. NIGHTMARES ABOUT FISH WILL COME NOW!

The Clark Family said...

Well, I can't top that, sorry. That's hysterical. But, if there is a silver lining...at least he doesn't sing "take me to the river...drop me in the water...while flapping his tail and head. So funny. I vote for the dental office! ;)

Rachel said...

I will see your fish and raise you a deer's butt.
SERIOUSLY

No lie. A Deer butt.

oh yes.

PS: SO envious you and SmartAss

Daniella said...

I love the husbands office idea - seems perfect :) I have (much to my chagrin) a larged mounted gaffaw cat fish hanging in my sons bedroom - that I spent much time decorating with out dead fish on the walls - I lost this battle after I had 2 boys ( I mean 1 boy and a husband) begging after my sons big catch to bring it home - after hauling it home and keeping it on ice for hours on our boat I come to find out that the mounting folks just needed pictures and measurements- wtf! to this day my son thinks it's the actual fish that we hauled home. the things we do.... I feel your pain. Note that we live on the gulf of mexico and catch fish all the time - there has been no more mounting of fish in our home :)

Kel said...

haha - my hubs ran to blockbuster one day and when he got back, he not only had movies in hand but count them, 3 movie posters to hang in my 'family/movie' room. Never mind, it is where the kids play and we have an 8ft project screen mounted on the wall...but little ol movie posters? Oh well...they now adorn the wall above our famed movie collection! :)

Sometimes, you've got to compromise right?!
~K

Karen MEG said...

Oh my, that is pretty atrocious ;)! I like Busydad's idea, it's like advertising, two birds with one stone, eh?

I feel for you...

Gotfam said...

I am laughing so hard right now - your post is so right up my alley this week. My husband won the "man olympics" (specifically...the summer man olympics) this past weekend and won a trophy. Which is an old lamp that was welded to a tin cup. And we HAVE to keep it so that it can be passed to next year's winner. Sigh

Renny said...

Oh that is too funny! It reminds me of the movie "A Christmas Story." "Its an award, a prestigious award!" Men... :)

Mountain Mama said...

My husband insists on keeping every Halloween costume he's ever worn, and some he hasn't. And he refuses to repeat costumes.

There isn't a closet in our house large enough for this.

Al_Pal said...

Oh, MAN. *snort* Yipes.

I am thankful for the psychedelic rock posters adorning 'our' [his] office/studio. Criminy.

Elizabeth said...

The Husband has a faux leather (is that pleather?) jacket with a needlepointy/quited/I don't know what inset. And the pleather is stressed. He's from Europe and really didn't know better when I met him eighteen years ago.

Pu├ža said...

hahahaha uffff very difficult to match with your great decor!

Legallyblondemel said...

This made me laugh because a boyfriend of mine once brought me back a mounted barracuda from his vacation. Not one that he bravely caught, mind you, but the type you buy in an airport store. You can probably guess how that relationship ended.

My first & current husband recently tried to bring home a mounted deer head - as in, the head of the deer he recently shot (his 1st). Last I heard, the deer head ended up in his office. He may too if he shoots any more innocent wildlife.

Susie said...

My sister's husband caught a barracuda several summers ago and had it "stuffed and mounted" for a cool $700. I am pretty sure that is the exact same "fish" - we know the one they were shipped is not the actual fish because it had different markings and all it's teeth (whereas the real fish was missing teeth). She is going to compare the "trophy" to hers to see if it's the same as yours.

anya said...

My man is not a cave man, he is a cave boy. I think he has more toys and video games than both my sons put together. Hence, he has an "office" in the basement for his collection of Star Wars action figures, sci-fi memorabilia and baseball cards.

Karen said...

Oh don't even get me started...seriously my Hubby came home with a Red Wings bobble head no joke. It's in his office and I'm thinking one day it may disappear.

Jaina said...

Wow. There are no words. Good luck finding a place for that. It kind of scares me.

Kathryn said...

http://threadsofdesire.blogspot.com/2009/06/i-win.html

Only one fish? I think you can find a place for it.

just jamie said...

So... As I just packed the last of the fancy vases from the gorgeous damn kitchen that I am giving up in the divorce...guess what takes the place of Waterford and classy glass pitchers and elegant glassware?

BEER STEINS. Like 30 of them. In the kitchen. The plank floors/granite/stainless gorgeous kitchen (I can only brag because it's no longer mine)... has three rows of GAWDY BEER STEINS? Holy classy. :)

Loukia said...

That is pretty scary looking! Um, good luck? I think his office would be the most appropriate place for this, no? ;)

Nap Warden said...

I kid you not...My Husband bought an inflatable moose head. Hanging on the wall...Ummmmm...NOT!

Steph said...

Now that screams Class! LOL Let us know where it ends up.

Texan Mama @ Who Put Me In Charge said...

ACK we have two of those. Not barracuda, but one walleye and one bass. At the first house they "lived at", they were in my husband's basement man room. When we moved, they migrated to my husband's office. Now in TX we have no basement and he doesn't want nice personal things in his office at works, so they currently reside 1) above the fireplace and 2) on the adjacent wall. I got worn down by the fish. The saving grace is that at least they aren't hanging above my head as I sleep.

KT said...

No joke- I have a 5 foot long fish mounted on my BEDROOM wall. Sexy, right? I didn't know where else to put it.

 

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