Monday, January 19, 2009

Next time. I'll just hire a sitter.

I slipped on my beloved stilettos and new dress. Brushed the girl's hair and coordinated their outfits to match down to their shoes. I checked over Jay and handed him a five dollar bill. "Ready, kiddos?" I asked. "Let's take a picture to show Daddy in Cleveland." I was without husband under my parent's roof in Chicago.

There was no way that my father alone was able to look after my three children on Sunday. Instead, I entrusted him with just my first born for the day. They had no specific plans of meeting my younger brother somewhere downtown and "hanging out." Men, heh. The girls and I had very specific plans which included accompanying my mother to my best friend's baby shower at a bistro. Actually, the place was a very swanky bistro in the heart of uppity Chicago.

Although the girls were very well behaved for the shower in a swanky bistro in the middle of the uppity city I remembered the reason for always hiring a baby sitter and leaving the children behind, for every single social event that I/we am/are invited too.

I give to you, in no particular order, three reasons why next time I will just hire a sitter.

Reason numero uno...
The 23 month old potty trained toddler just might, perhaps, maybe decide to go potty next to the gift table located in front of the fifty or so classy guests:



Reason numero dos...
The nearly five year old self proclaimed artist just might, perhaps, maybe decide to draw "sweet little babies" all over the white table cloth with the crayons the waitress gave her at the baby shower:

Oh. Hush. That totally resembles a baby.

With a wet toddler and mischievous nearly five-year-old, we were one of the firsts to leave the baby shower. Driving home to my parent's house I silently wished I had enough faith in both my father and brother to watch all three kids while I lunched alone with old girlfriends. And so. I called my father.

"Where are you guys? It's so loud."

"We are at a SPORTS BAR. We are eating chicken wings." My father hollered over the phone.

I smiled at the image, that I had created in my head, of the three boys devouring their beloved wings at a sports bar. I gave myself a pat on the back for having the foresight of handing Jay a five dollar bill for the video games that he so enjoys at the establishments that serve wings.

And. Reason numero tres (Of why next time I'll just hire a sitter)...
Photographic evidence from my father's digital camera:





Oh. Hush. That was totally the tip for the food bill.

81classy comments:

Cynthiaa said...

HA! this was hysterical

no picture of you and the girls prior to shower?!

melissa said...

sorry...i didn't mean to laugh...
i have a sitter you can borrow...

Kelley said...

Bwaaaaaaa haaaaa haaaaaaaa!

I think every boy in the known world wants your dad to babysit them!

momof3crazykids said...

Ok... that is just too funny! Sorry I'm laughing at you.
Hooters, classic. Every boy needs to go to Hooters. I'm even going to confess to taking my kids there, yes I know horrible, but I love there chicken ceasar salad dipped in hot(the wing sauce).

Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] said...

Did he put the $5 in her hooters?

And by 'hooters' I mean owl.

Every boy wants a pet owl. So I hear.

Elaine A. said...

OMG!!! You just made me (and my husband!!) laugh SO hard!

You're right, that IS totally a baby! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Jessica said...

Sounds like a baby sitting wouldn't have been a bad idea. Eh! At least you survived...

LaskiGal said...

Are you SURE that's a baby?

I'm pretty sure for boys, Hooters is a rite of passage of some sort.

Some. Sort.

Life at the White House said...

Oh my goodness!!!! And yea, umm, you're right.....that does resemble a baby.

;-)

So funny! Thanks for the laugh!!!!

Rhea said...

Oh, wow, didn't you feel totally classy after that kind of day?! lol It's good you have such a great sense of humor. It's either laugh...or cry, right?

Rach (Mommy Learns to Blog) said...

Thank you for the laugh!! I'm sure you didn't find it all quite so humorous at the time, but certainly enough so to pass it on to the rest of us, who surely got a chuckle out of it! Can't wait to see the family pic!

Desiree Fawn said...

Hahaha, this definitely cracked me up. Too funny ^_^

Janah @ So Not Mom-a-licious said...

I'm not sure if you are going to be upset that I totally had to laugh out loud when I saw Jay with the picture of the "waitress" (aka Hooters Girl). I think what made me laugh is that he is excitedly holding up his 5 dollar bill and she is totally posing for the camera...probably just waiting to take this 5 year olds 5. Don't really know what to say about the girls... the crayon will come off of the linens. The pee on the floor, well...priceless. Hey, you made it and that's all that counts. And in your hot little dress! How cold is it there in the Windy City?

3 Peanuts said...

Oh My goodness!!! Your Dad to Jay to HOOTERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am laughing so hard but I would be so mad at my Dad! What a day you had. You totally deseerve a babysitter. I am guessing the tablecloth was linen an not paper?!

YIKES!

Kim

Rachel said...

Where are the pics of you and the girlies?

I'm rolling darlin'. ;-) ha ha ha ha!!!

Colleen - Mommy Always Wins said...

Ha! I laugh cuz my hubby took my 4yo to Hooters when he was just barely 3. Nick came home to tell me, "MOM! Those ladies have big boobies!" Poor you and the potty on the floor!

Steph @ Diapers and Divinity said...

That is SO funny, OH mommy. I have about a million moments I think I should have got a sitter. Too bad I don't have a bottomless sitter fund...

Zoeyjane said...

Your dad took your Jay to Hooters?!

That's both hilarious and awe-ing!

Flea said...

OMG!!! You're boy's moving up in the world! *snicker* Looks like a good time was had by all but OHmommy.

Kash said...

OMG, I cannot believe dad!

Scary Mommy said...

Oh, your dad is hilarious!!!! The list is just endless, huh?

Megryansmom said...

You should have looked me up. I would have watched all three of them, I had a very boring Sunday, cleaning bathrooms and finally taking my tree down. Oh hush! I was enjoying the view LOL

Come visit me for a little giveaway.

http://lookitsmegryansmom.blogspot.com/2009/01/s-is-for-safety-tat.html

Half Gaelic, Half Garlic! said...

That is so funny!! Looks like your Dad has quite a sense of humor:) I don't think I have ever seen Jay so happy...LOL!!

Lisa

Smart A$$ Mom said...

Where is the picture of the family?

If anything, Jay had a FAB time.

Jessica said...

Literally laughing into my coffee cup! Passed this along to friends that could use a chuckle.

krissy said...

Haha.

Your dad seems like fun. I do have to say though, Hooters does have some mighty fine tasting wings. Yum.

I'm pretty sure the hooters waitress can be your babysitter and I'm pretty sure your son wouldn't mind at all.

LOL.

kim-d said...

BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Your Dad and brother and Jay, enjoying wings at HOOTERS. BWAHAHAHAHA! No wonder Jay has such a beautiful smile on his face. That is soooo funny, and it certainly appears like he had a good time. Boys, huh? Of ALL ages...

And, ummm...yup, that sure does look like a baby. If you say so. Even more BWAHA'ing.

A good time was had by all??? :)

LceeL said...

I think I like your Dad. He thinks just like I do.

Ashley said...

Heh. Oh man. *Writing down notes for later juggling of more than one child...*

MommyTime said...

I am laughing out loud -- with you, not at you, of course. This is precisely what would have happened to me, I'm sure.

(Also thank you 1000 times for the so-quick response on Saturday. You are a good, good friend. It must be said publicly. :)

Blessings From Above said...

Thanks for the Monday morning laugh! :)

Stephanie said...

Okay, I'm sorry, I was laughing during this whole post. Ummmm...especially at the "babies" that Jay was drawing. Oh my heart! Haha!

Legallyblondemel said...

Birth control by blog reading. Excellent.

(kidding - your kiddos are adorable, of course)

Wendi said...

Hilarious.
No, you can't hire a sitter.
What would you have to write about and share with all of your beloved readers?
It wouldn't provide you this kind of blog fodder.
Thanks for making me laugh this morning!

Kalle said...

That was a great story. Thanks so much for sharing it. What about a shot of you in this lovely new dress?

Domestic Extraordinaire said...

too funny!

And I agree with everyone else, where is that photo of you and the girls?

Kelly said...

Kids certainly keep life interesting, don't they? Your dad is a hoot--I bet Jay had a ball!

MIT Mommy said...

Next time you'll hire a sitter and be SO bored. tee hee hee

Kari said...

Sorry about your day. Ah, the joys of motherhood.

Just a side note...atleast the Hooter's Girls were all wearing T-shirts...instead of the "regular uniform!!!"

Domestic Goddess (In Training) said...

I love it. Every boy should have a photo from his first trip to Hooters!

mommynotes said...

This is hilarious! I laughed from beginning to end and so sounds like something that would happen to me. Yes, go with a sitter next time! Did he take him to Hooters? You know for the wings!

Tee aka The Diva's Thoughts said...

Men!!!! Of course they'd take a sweet little boy to Hooters. LOL Too funny.

Miss said...

It's about time he got out to Hooters! Every young boy should go early in life. They totally dont stereotype women there. ;-)

PS - how did the dress go over??

Clare said...

you always make me laugh!! the last picture is priceless, and i love your father!! hilarious!

Krystyn said...

That is hilarious! I think a sitter would have been worth every cent.

Hooters....I think that all of Jay's friends might want to come and hang out with your dad!

Hope you are having a good time other wise.

Tracey said...

Is he at... Hooters???

anti-supermom said...

Too funny, I'm betting that Jay still has his money though :)

It made for great blogging material, nonetheless.

the mama bird diaries said...

Hooters?! Wow. That was some day out for your son. :)

carrie said...

Aw, what a nice tipper Jay is! ;)

Kim said...

Love it..hahahaha.. hysterical.

Indy said...

No. He. Didn't. Oh man.

mpotter said...

hilarious.

Anonymous said...

Seems all a little staged. Why didn't you have the "classy" toddler stop drawing? Seems like you let her continue....And your dad had to take the perfect picture and the Hooter's girl...

The Daily Stroll said...

HAHAHAHA! Those pictures are just classic! Gotta love the innocence of a child's mind and wonder how as adults ours always ends up in the gutter! ;)

Thanks for making me laugh today! I really needed it!

Stephanie said...

OH.MY.WORD. Corruption! Did you get all irate on your dad? Seriously, I'm curious how you handled your son being in hooters!

Is it any wonder you have no faith in them to watch all of the kids? ;oD

ladybugsnkatydids said...

Please stop! I/we can hardly contain myself/ourselves!

Thanks for starting my day with a laugh and finishing my husband's day with one, too!

Meg

just jamie said...

Oh dear.

Thank you for yet another reminder that I am not alone.

OHmommy said...

Dear Anon,

The table was covered w/bistro paper and my father walks around attached with a camera.

Thanks for your concerns about this being staged.

xoxo
OHmommy

zandor said...

Ha. That's kind of totally really funny.

OHmommy said...

Oh. And thanks dear Anon for visiting my blog 255 times:

Illinois, Waukegan, United States, 255 returning visits

19th January 2009 14:34:02 No referring link
www.classychaos.com/

My Trendy Tykes said...

LOL!! Fun times, eh?

Linda

Bronnie said...

What a classic. One day your son will dine out on this story. As for potty on the floor - my son used to piddle in the garden occasionally (as boys do because they can), and my daughter, then 3, started copying him by peeing standing up. One day she did it in front of the man changing our car battery. Pants off, piddle running down the driveway... I don't know who was redder, me or him!

Heather said...

hahahahahhahhaahaha!

so i follow you on twitter, but i have never read your blog. i'm dying laughing. and officially adding you to my blogroll!

awesome. i love the pic of the little guy with the waitress. hey, i have no room to talk, i LOVE hooters ;)

Kel said...

haha...too funny!
~K

Karen MEG said...

Looks like Jay was having a much easier time of it with the boys than you girls were ;). Looks like he and Busydad's Fury would get along just fine, tee-hee.

Weird comment from Anon too... seriously, as if?!!

Yes, pic of the dress please..

the planet of janet said...

bwahahahahahahaa....

*gasp wheeze deep breath gasp gasp*

bwahahahahahahahahahaha....

Shannon said...

I'm learning the EXACT same thing lately - a sitter is always worth the money, LOL. And I did get a good laugh from your post :-)

Melissa said...

classic! your kids are the best. and i love your blog btw. it always gives me a laugh :)

Michelle said...

Oh gosh, I so feel you right now. My youngest is potty training/trained now and she picks the most inopportune times and places to have her "accidents"! Oy!

(I don't have a blog so I can't link to a site, but we emailed back and forth a while ago...anyway, I still love reading your blog! I check every day to see if there's a new entry!).

denise said...

That is hysterical!!! Could anything else go wrong?!

Lisa @ Take90West said...

Your son must think hanging out with his grandpa is just the coolest thing!
Let's just hope he doesn't go to school and talk about the trip to Hooters over the long weekend!

* TONYA * said...

HA! You are too funny. This is why we love you. I've taken my kids to hooters. They loved the girls :)

I love your responses to 'anonymous' too. Well done :)

I would have liked a little pic of you all dressed up for your swanky baby shower.

Im2Sexy4MyVan said...

Anon is mean. Don't let her hurt your spirit. You do a beautiful thing with your blog. It makes your heart smile, and mine too. So anon is vapor in the wind and you are classy forever....(insert hug here)

Amy said...

I would have much rather been at Hooters than the baby shower!

Tiaras and Tantrums said...

LOVE THIS!!

So sorry baby girl had an accident!

Lisa said...

her drawings looked beautiful. The newly-trained toddler - so get it! And I love Jay's outing with your Dad & brother - what a memory in male bonding :)

TheScrappyMama said...

Lola's drawings are priceless! Was she drawing a swaddled baby? My four year old loves to draw and I can totally see her doing that!

Been there, done that on the accident. I feel your pain!

DysFUNctional Mom said...

OMG! I'd kill Dad but it is darned funny.

Courtney said...

This is a little too funny!!!

Sorry about not coming around so much, I suck as a blogger at this point in time

The 5 Bickies said...

Oh, I have had these days! Maybe without the Hooters (although that destination was my husband's idea of family fun at the beach last summer) but definitely with the children that make me wish I had gotten a sitter.

I always adore your stories!

Jaina said...

Lol, too funny. I'm glad you at least got to go to the shower.

 

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