I slipped on my beloved stilettos and new dress. Brushed the girl's hair and coordinated their outfits to match down to their shoes. I checked over Jay and handed him a five dollar bill. "Ready, kiddos?" I asked. "Let's take a picture to show Daddy in Cleveland." I was without husband under my parent's roof in Chicago.
There was no way that my father alone was able to look after my three children on Sunday. Instead, I entrusted him with just my first born for the day. They had no specific plans of meeting my younger brother somewhere downtown and "hanging out." Men, heh. The girls and I had very specific plans which included accompanying my mother to my best friend's baby shower at a bistro. Actually, the place was a very swanky bistro in the heart of uppity Chicago.
Although the girls were very well behaved for the shower in a swanky bistro in the middle of the uppity city I remembered the reason for always hiring a baby sitter and leaving the children behind, for every single social event that I/we am/are invited too.
I give to you, in no particular order, three reasons why next time I will just hire a sitter.
Reason numero uno...
The 23 month old potty trained toddler just might, perhaps, maybe decide to go potty next to the gift table located in front of the fifty or so classy guests:
The nearly five year old self proclaimed artist just might, perhaps, maybe decide to draw "sweet little babies" all over the white table cloth with the crayons the waitress gave her at the baby shower:
With a wet toddler and mischievous nearly five-year-old, we were one of the firsts to leave the baby shower. Driving home to my parent's house I silently wished I had enough faith in both my father and brother to watch all three kids while I lunched alone with old girlfriends. And so. I called my father.
"Where are you guys? It's so loud."
"We are at a SPORTS BAR. We are eating chicken wings." My father hollered over the phone.
I smiled at the image, that I had created in my head, of the three boys devouring their beloved wings at a sports bar. I gave myself a pat on the back for having the foresight of handing Jay a five dollar bill for the video games that he so enjoys at the establishments that serve wings.
And. Reason numero tres (Of why next time I'll just hire a sitter)...
Photographic evidence from my father's digital camera:
81classy comments:
HA! this was hysterical
no picture of you and the girls prior to shower?!
sorry...i didn't mean to laugh...
i have a sitter you can borrow...
Bwaaaaaaa haaaaa haaaaaaaa!
I think every boy in the known world wants your dad to babysit them!
Ok... that is just too funny! Sorry I'm laughing at you.
Hooters, classic. Every boy needs to go to Hooters. I'm even going to confess to taking my kids there, yes I know horrible, but I love there chicken ceasar salad dipped in hot(the wing sauce).
Did he put the $5 in her hooters?
And by 'hooters' I mean owl.
Every boy wants a pet owl. So I hear.
OMG!!! You just made me (and my husband!!) laugh SO hard!
You're right, that IS totally a baby! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Sounds like a baby sitting wouldn't have been a bad idea. Eh! At least you survived...
Are you SURE that's a baby?
I'm pretty sure for boys, Hooters is a rite of passage of some sort.
Some. Sort.
Oh my goodness!!!! And yea, umm, you're right.....that does resemble a baby.
;-)
So funny! Thanks for the laugh!!!!
Oh, wow, didn't you feel totally classy after that kind of day?! lol It's good you have such a great sense of humor. It's either laugh...or cry, right?
Thank you for the laugh!! I'm sure you didn't find it all quite so humorous at the time, but certainly enough so to pass it on to the rest of us, who surely got a chuckle out of it! Can't wait to see the family pic!
Hahaha, this definitely cracked me up. Too funny ^_^
I'm not sure if you are going to be upset that I totally had to laugh out loud when I saw Jay with the picture of the "waitress" (aka Hooters Girl). I think what made me laugh is that he is excitedly holding up his 5 dollar bill and she is totally posing for the camera...probably just waiting to take this 5 year olds 5. Don't really know what to say about the girls... the crayon will come off of the linens. The pee on the floor, well...priceless. Hey, you made it and that's all that counts. And in your hot little dress! How cold is it there in the Windy City?
Oh My goodness!!! Your Dad to Jay to HOOTERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am laughing so hard but I would be so mad at my Dad! What a day you had. You totally deseerve a babysitter. I am guessing the tablecloth was linen an not paper?!
YIKES!
Kim
Where are the pics of you and the girlies?
I'm rolling darlin'. ;-) ha ha ha ha!!!
Ha! I laugh cuz my hubby took my 4yo to Hooters when he was just barely 3. Nick came home to tell me, "MOM! Those ladies have big boobies!" Poor you and the potty on the floor!
That is SO funny, OH mommy. I have about a million moments I think I should have got a sitter. Too bad I don't have a bottomless sitter fund...
Your dad took your Jay to Hooters?!
That's both hilarious and awe-ing!
OMG!!! You're boy's moving up in the world! *snicker* Looks like a good time was had by all but OHmommy.
OMG, I cannot believe dad!
Oh, your dad is hilarious!!!! The list is just endless, huh?
You should have looked me up. I would have watched all three of them, I had a very boring Sunday, cleaning bathrooms and finally taking my tree down. Oh hush! I was enjoying the view LOL
Come visit me for a little giveaway.
http://lookitsmegryansmom.blogspot.com/2009/01/s-is-for-safety-tat.html
That is so funny!! Looks like your Dad has quite a sense of humor:) I don't think I have ever seen Jay so happy...LOL!!
Lisa
Where is the picture of the family?
If anything, Jay had a FAB time.
Literally laughing into my coffee cup! Passed this along to friends that could use a chuckle.
Haha.
Your dad seems like fun. I do have to say though, Hooters does have some mighty fine tasting wings. Yum.
I'm pretty sure the hooters waitress can be your babysitter and I'm pretty sure your son wouldn't mind at all.
LOL.
BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Your Dad and brother and Jay, enjoying wings at HOOTERS. BWAHAHAHAHA! No wonder Jay has such a beautiful smile on his face. That is soooo funny, and it certainly appears like he had a good time. Boys, huh? Of ALL ages...
And, ummm...yup, that sure does look like a baby. If you say so. Even more BWAHA'ing.
A good time was had by all??? :)
I think I like your Dad. He thinks just like I do.
Heh. Oh man. *Writing down notes for later juggling of more than one child...*
I am laughing out loud -- with you, not at you, of course. This is precisely what would have happened to me, I'm sure.
(Also thank you 1000 times for the so-quick response on Saturday. You are a good, good friend. It must be said publicly. :)
Thanks for the Monday morning laugh! :)
Okay, I'm sorry, I was laughing during this whole post. Ummmm...especially at the "babies" that Jay was drawing. Oh my heart! Haha!
Birth control by blog reading. Excellent.
(kidding - your kiddos are adorable, of course)
Hilarious.
No, you can't hire a sitter.
What would you have to write about and share with all of your beloved readers?
It wouldn't provide you this kind of blog fodder.
Thanks for making me laugh this morning!
That was a great story. Thanks so much for sharing it. What about a shot of you in this lovely new dress?
too funny!
And I agree with everyone else, where is that photo of you and the girls?
Kids certainly keep life interesting, don't they? Your dad is a hoot--I bet Jay had a ball!
Next time you'll hire a sitter and be SO bored. tee hee hee
Sorry about your day. Ah, the joys of motherhood.
Just a side note...atleast the Hooter's Girls were all wearing T-shirts...instead of the "regular uniform!!!"
I love it. Every boy should have a photo from his first trip to Hooters!
This is hilarious! I laughed from beginning to end and so sounds like something that would happen to me. Yes, go with a sitter next time! Did he take him to Hooters? You know for the wings!
Men!!!! Of course they'd take a sweet little boy to Hooters. LOL Too funny.
It's about time he got out to Hooters! Every young boy should go early in life. They totally dont stereotype women there. ;-)
PS - how did the dress go over??
you always make me laugh!! the last picture is priceless, and i love your father!! hilarious!
That is hilarious! I think a sitter would have been worth every cent.
Hooters....I think that all of Jay's friends might want to come and hang out with your dad!
Hope you are having a good time other wise.
Is he at... Hooters???
Too funny, I'm betting that Jay still has his money though :)
It made for great blogging material, nonetheless.
Hooters?! Wow. That was some day out for your son. :)
Aw, what a nice tipper Jay is! ;)
Love it..hahahaha.. hysterical.
No. He. Didn't. Oh man.
hilarious.
Seems all a little staged. Why didn't you have the "classy" toddler stop drawing? Seems like you let her continue....And your dad had to take the perfect picture and the Hooter's girl...
HAHAHAHA! Those pictures are just classic! Gotta love the innocence of a child's mind and wonder how as adults ours always ends up in the gutter! ;)
Thanks for making me laugh today! I really needed it!
OH.MY.WORD. Corruption! Did you get all irate on your dad? Seriously, I'm curious how you handled your son being in hooters!
Is it any wonder you have no faith in them to watch all of the kids? ;oD
Please stop! I/we can hardly contain myself/ourselves!
Thanks for starting my day with a laugh and finishing my husband's day with one, too!
Meg
Oh dear.
Thank you for yet another reminder that I am not alone.
Dear Anon,
The table was covered w/bistro paper and my father walks around attached with a camera.
Thanks for your concerns about this being staged.
xoxo
OHmommy
Ha. That's kind of totally really funny.
Oh. And thanks dear Anon for visiting my blog 255 times:
Illinois, Waukegan, United States, 255 returning visits
19th January 2009 14:34:02 No referring link
www.classychaos.com/
LOL!! Fun times, eh?
Linda
What a classic. One day your son will dine out on this story. As for potty on the floor - my son used to piddle in the garden occasionally (as boys do because they can), and my daughter, then 3, started copying him by peeing standing up. One day she did it in front of the man changing our car battery. Pants off, piddle running down the driveway... I don't know who was redder, me or him!
hahahahahhahhaahaha!
so i follow you on twitter, but i have never read your blog. i'm dying laughing. and officially adding you to my blogroll!
awesome. i love the pic of the little guy with the waitress. hey, i have no room to talk, i LOVE hooters ;)
haha...too funny!
~K
Looks like Jay was having a much easier time of it with the boys than you girls were ;). Looks like he and Busydad's Fury would get along just fine, tee-hee.
Weird comment from Anon too... seriously, as if?!!
Yes, pic of the dress please..
bwahahahahahahaa....
*gasp wheeze deep breath gasp gasp*
bwahahahahahahahahahaha....
I'm learning the EXACT same thing lately - a sitter is always worth the money, LOL. And I did get a good laugh from your post :-)
classic! your kids are the best. and i love your blog btw. it always gives me a laugh :)
Oh gosh, I so feel you right now. My youngest is potty training/trained now and she picks the most inopportune times and places to have her "accidents"! Oy!
(I don't have a blog so I can't link to a site, but we emailed back and forth a while ago...anyway, I still love reading your blog! I check every day to see if there's a new entry!).
That is hysterical!!! Could anything else go wrong?!
Your son must think hanging out with his grandpa is just the coolest thing!
Let's just hope he doesn't go to school and talk about the trip to Hooters over the long weekend!
HA! You are too funny. This is why we love you. I've taken my kids to hooters. They loved the girls :)
I love your responses to 'anonymous' too. Well done :)
I would have liked a little pic of you all dressed up for your swanky baby shower.
Anon is mean. Don't let her hurt your spirit. You do a beautiful thing with your blog. It makes your heart smile, and mine too. So anon is vapor in the wind and you are classy forever....(insert hug here)
I would have much rather been at Hooters than the baby shower!
LOVE THIS!!
So sorry baby girl had an accident!
her drawings looked beautiful. The newly-trained toddler - so get it! And I love Jay's outing with your Dad & brother - what a memory in male bonding :)
Lola's drawings are priceless! Was she drawing a swaddled baby? My four year old loves to draw and I can totally see her doing that!
Been there, done that on the accident. I feel your pain!
OMG! I'd kill Dad but it is darned funny.
This is a little too funny!!!
Sorry about not coming around so much, I suck as a blogger at this point in time
Oh, I have had these days! Maybe without the Hooters (although that destination was my husband's idea of family fun at the beach last summer) but definitely with the children that make me wish I had gotten a sitter.
I always adore your stories!
Lol, too funny. I'm glad you at least got to go to the shower.
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